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NASADD Social v. Might as well get a hand job if she wants you to wear a comdom.

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Well thanks for the warning guys, and yes I am already fully aware of (and prepared for) the risks involved.

Realistically it's too late to back out now though, we've already got money down and the closing is very near. I'm gonna go through with it, I wouldn't be able to pull out now without breaking up with the girl and I don't want to do that any time soon- things are actually going well with a reasonable woman for a change (well as reasonable as they come anyway. They're all nuts but this one's not mentally unstable, an addict, a complete slut, in high school, or under the impression that she's better than me, so I'd say that's reasonable-ish) and I'm tired of sabotaging myself so I'll stick with it.

Worst case scenario we do part ways in a few years but the fact that we're not married and my name is not on the bill means I'm not under any contract to stay in that house. In that case the only thing i would lose is the money I spent towards helping pay the mortgage and the money I put into the house for maintenance/improvements/repairs or whatever. That's no different than the $50k or so I've spent in rent so far over past several years I've been renting rather than living in a house I can call my own. Technically this one's even easier because I don't have to worry about backing out of a lease and breaking a contract. And I get the chance to live in New Hampshire for a while which is something I have wanted to do for some time now. And it's with a chick that at this time I am really into.

I don't want things to go that way at all and I really hope they don't, but even if it does end up that way I don't really get screwed that bad in the long run. Don't worry about me I'll be fine.
 
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^Recky it's good to hear that you have a handle on things. It sounds like you got a keeper man I'm happy for ya. My woman moved out at my request a few months ago. We still talk and get along alrite all things considered but I think the game will change once she is served. I am happy and sad about it at the same time but I know it is the best thing to do. Everyone has been telling me that they never liked my wife all these years. Oh well we had some good times and a lot of bad times.
 
RecklessWOT said:
My name's actually not going on the mortgage so if I need to I can just hit that eject button. All of the utilities are going to be through me though so she can't just decide to kick me out, I'll have proof that it's my house too.
And I know, i am worried; She already kind of drives me crazy in some aspects, I'm really banking on her calming down once she's settled in the house.

I do have a few things going for me though, I know it would take a lot to get her to kick me out. She may get bitchy at times but she puts up with a lot and she's never going to be the one to end the relationship unless I were to do something crazy like hit her or something which I would never do. She already seems to have made up her mind about settling for me. Worst case scenario I'll have the in-law apartment above the detached garage I can chill in till she chills out. She also doesn't really know anyone else up there either so she'll kind of be stuck with me because what else is she gonna do, live up there all by herself? If anything happens like that it's gonna be me who's just gonna get sick of her shit and leave myself. I think it will be alright though. She's pretty reasonable in most areas, she's a positive influence on my life. She doesn't try to control me but her being there and just being the way she is helps kind of keep me in line. In reality, I'm pretty bad at taking care of myself. It actually does me some good having her help me out in that sense.



Sorry to hear that you're getting a divorce though. Or maybe it's a situation to congratulate you? I don't know the whole story. Still, it sucks to hear when things don't work out. Is she aware that it's done or is she just going to g. et served one day?



As of now she's still putting out so I don't have to worry about jacking off quite yet. But I agree, that's why I hate it when girls try to give me a handjob. Like "bitch that's the one thing I can do myself and I know for a fact I can do a better job than you. Put it somewhere inside you."
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Ha man at first I was going to say something like are you really happy w her when you said that shes settling with you and that youre hoping she settles down once in the house..but then i realized my realtionship is the exact same. Im not really thrilled w the guy but i love him, been w him forever and he would never be the one to end the relationship first and he has his own engine head repair shop so hes financially stable. But sometimes i wonder what itd be like to be w someone i was more happy w or a lil less square. But then he provides all the stabilities young, careless addict guys cant. A lot of guys dont even have a car or place. It makes me wonder if anybody is really happy or if we all just settle for somebody?!

Anyway congrats on the house!
 
porkchops said:
Is that the one where Jennifer Connelly goes ass to ass for cash money?
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Yeah, he wrote the book that film is based on. FWIW she does it for drugs, not cash 0_-

Mr.Scagnattie said:
Yeah man, I'm a big Selby fan. Last Exit To Brooklyn is the shit. His writing is so raw and visceral. If you like Selby you would dig Bukowski and Bret Easton Ellis too.

I love that style of gritty fiction.
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I loved Last Exit, not sure what happened to my copy... I've read a few poems by Bukowski that I dug & I've been meaning to check out Bret Easton Ellis as well. It's so difficult for me to bring myself to read these days, though. Thanks for the recommendations.
 
Heh, I used to read all the time when I was younger, and I still love to do it, but it's just a mental block or some shit to actually pick up the damn book.
 
Bob Loblaw said:
Heh, I used to read all the time when I was younger, and I still love to do it, but it's just a mental block or some shit to actually pick up the damn book.
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I have this exact same issue


ohshea said:
Ha man at first I was going to say something like are you really happy w her when you said that shes settling with you and that youre hoping she settles down once in the house..but then i realized my realtionship is the exact same. Im not really thrilled w the guy but i love him, been w him forever and he would never be the one to end the relationship first and he has his own engine head repair shop so hes financially stable. But sometimes i wonder what itd be like to be w someone i was more happy w or a lil less square. But then he provides all the stabilities young, careless addict guys cant. A lot of guys dont even have a car or place. It makes me wonder if anybody is really happy or if we all just settle for somebody?!

Anyway congrats on the house!
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Yeah, I think about that sometimes. She's even called herself out on that before, like "we've lived such different lives, are you sure you're okay with me? Wouldn't you be happier with someone a little more exciting?" And I have to explain to her that's not the case and I am plenty happy with her and appreciate the fact that she is not a crazy person like myself. Someone to talk me out of being a freak on a drug fueled rampage. I do sometimes wish I could be with a chick that excites me more (and is less square, I like how you put that), but I realize that wouldn't do me much good in the long run. I like how this girl adds some much needed stability in my life, something I have never had before. I think some people really do end up totally blissfully happy but it's very rare. Most people end up settling as far as I can tell
 
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^yea thats the exactthing my dude says also about him not being "exciting" and he tells me hes afraid i will leave him for a younger wilder dude. I say the same thing as you, i like having a grounded (boring is what he says but thats not the right word) person because it gives me a daily reminder of what is possible when youre not hopelessly addicted, and as corny as it seems hes my rock and s what prevents me from using on a daily/weekly basis. I indulge once in a blue moon but its becoming less and less frequent and if he were to find out itd break his heart and hed be severly disappointed.

And as crazy as it sounds im getting bored w heroin, ive been on methadone for 14 mos and when i do use, i usually pick a night in the first week of the month, im not really enjoying it, probably because in the back of my mind i know i have too much to lose.

He can be a doormat at times but i know that drugs is where he draws the line and as much as i feel like im settling i would be extremely sad to lose him. I think us former addicts, once we outgrow our crazy ways, do best with a drug naive person. Ive heard some say well two former recovering addicts can relate to eachother about their addictions but i dont want to talk about it and have someone understand because eventually you start romanticizing it. Two sickies dont make a welly muahahah ;) i dont know i just feel better w a square, makes me feel more normal, and at this point i embrace normalcy.

God that jennifer conneley scene makes my ass cringe.
 
Kind of like when I visit my parents & see all the shit they have 'cos they didn't fuck up like I did, it helps me want to stay off the drugz.



0.jpg
is actually Selby Jr himself

/trivia
 
Oshea and Recky it is not all it's cracked up to be to be with someone that uses too. Its one of the things that got in the way of my relationship. I would get clean then she said I was "boring" I would use then she would say I was out of control. I like boring welderman it keeps me out of trouble. I don't think your so much settling but you guys know that your significant other is good for you and that makes you happy. I hope to find me a chick that is smoking hot and square. She doesn't need huge tits just nice ones and a nice ass and be able to cook and clean with a trust fund so I don't have to work either. I'm not picky I'll settle.
 
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Did he consult on the film? It just seemed so cartoonish, with him being a legit addict and all...THE PUPILS, how did they fuck that up?

"she doesn't need huge tits just nice ones..." thanks for that line, it made me laugh for some reason
 
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I'm with you guys on the partner thing, how we see the person we're with. I've had my crazy drug-fueled days and then naturally toned it back because it just wasn't right for me anymore. I was on an upswing, and my gf caught me then and we had that crazy blissful love for quite a while. But moving in together across the country, and the first year of law school for her, and me being unemployed and depressed and now just depressed and not home much cause of work--it's put some strain on the relationship, and makes me reconsider my commitment to this. My commitment is mainly emotional, but it's still hard for me to do anything. I'm pretty averse to change, and I'd often rather put up with a bad or stressful situation because of laziness over the work required to make a change.

Using is hard to say, because we have such different personalities and therefore DOCs. We both smoke a lot of pot but I have my oxy Rx and she has her Adderall. We've tripped together a few times as well, which is what really solidified the relationship in the beginning.

Bob Loblaw said:
Heh, I used to read all the time when I was younger, and I still love to do it, but it's just a mental block or some shit to actually pick up the damn book.
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Same. And for some reason lately when I pick up a book it always ends up putting me straight to sleep. I need to get back into it though, cause like Scag said, it's the only thing that calms me down sometimes.
 
Bob Loblaw said:
Kind of like when I visit my parents & see all the shit they have 'cos they didn't fuck up like I did, it helps me want to stay off the drugz.



0.jpg
is actually Selby Jr himself

/trivia
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then i realize how miserable they were when i was a kid cause of work and fuck it. Im gonna travel and see the shit i wanna see without restrictions while im young and fairly healthy. Not when i retire at 75 nowadays and am for sure gonna be a junky piece of shit all day.
 
porkchops said:
Did he consult on the film? It just seemed so cartoonish, with him being a legit addict and all...THE PUPILS, how did they fuck that up?

"she doesn't need huge tits just nice ones..." thanks for that line, it made me laugh for some reason
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Ya man the pupils. I just rewatched that flick the other day and I remember that dialating pupils bit irritated me. Maybe it just makes a better shot I don't know but, no self respecting junkie (oxymoron maybe?) missed that.
 
What movie are you guys talking about? Sometimes the obvious escapes me and yes sometimes you literally have to draw me a picture so I understand.
 
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