• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

N.A. meetings and judgmental people

Status
Not open for further replies.
damn i didnt realize doin some coke was gonna be that serious. i guess since it wasnt ever a prob for me like dope i didnt think it was such a big deal . maybe im just naieve........but i really do wanna stay off dope , and today is the 2nd day with no dope or methadone.................
 
You're a drug addict and you didn't realize drug substitution was bad? Come on bro... don't bullshit the bullshitters.
 
coke is about the worst drug you could do as well, because the comedowns are so nasty. if anything could convince you to go cop a bag to take the edge off it is a coke comedown..
 
jake99 said:
damn i didnt realize doin some coke was gonna be that serious. i guess since it wasnt ever a prob for me like dope i didnt think it was such a big deal . maybe im just naieve........but i really do wanna stay off dope , and today is the 2nd day with no dope or methadone.................
Click to expand...

People tried to warn you about coke when you mentioned having done it a few weeks ago. The people who post here about it having ruined their lives aren't making it up and I think you realise that. Perhaps you just can't envisage yourself becoming one of them.

Personally, I think all of us are on dangerous ground when we suddenly start liking a drug we previously disliked but especially so if that happens at the same time we're "giving up" another drug. The chance that we'll end up with yet another demon is pretty high and you've already experienced that with benzos.

While you can't unring this particular bell, you can plan for the next time you get money. A good way to spend it next time would be on seeing a therapist to start addressing your anxiety and depression issues.

Some people get clean first and then create structure and stability in their lives and for others creating stability needs to happen before they can even contemplate getting clean. Whichever way it's going to happen for you, you can work on building that structure and stability while you're still using.

Don't let the time which was previously spent at school turn into "just chilling" time. Allocate it to things which take you more towards a functional life like job hunting, therapy, finding new social networks, etc. Above all, don't let it become time which is spent playing with yet another drug.
 
i hear u guys im still goin to meetings and really wanted to get dope today but im not . its hard especially on christmas . took a ex out to eat instead and may hit a meeting later on .................
 
Need a detox but too scared to admit it

i walked off methadone clinic 2 weeks ago . i been doin opiates (subs, meth, dope) almost 2 yrs , im too scared to tell my family that i cant get clean , i think they would cut me off...............i dont think i can get clean without goin away to kick............but if my dad knew then he would just cut me off prob , i already am on the sh*t list with stepmom and i think this would be like the final thing for them to cut me off totally if they knew............im 29 but i dont know what to do .
i been thru rehab prison and everything ,n.a. etc i just cant stay away from the opiates wtf do i do i dont want everything to fall apart but i cant put up with the sickness
 
You've been admitting that you need detox for the last couple of months but up until now you've had reasons both real and imagined for not doing anything about it.

If the choice is being clean but cut off from your family or continuing to use, what are you going to choose? Because that may be the real world choice you're facing as your health insurance doesn't fully cover the cost of rehab.

Your family will be expecting you to get a job soon and that's probably going to be difficult for you to do while you're still on the use/withdraw rollercoaster.

Detox and rehab (the longer the better) is your best shot at getting and staying clean. And it will get you started on dealing with your depression and anxiety. You already know that. Much as it's going to displease your family, it's a better option than you continuing to cop on the streets until you get busted and go to jail again.

This is all a bit like the movie Ground Hog Day. You keep asking the same questions and we keep giving the same answers.

If you were my kid I'd be trying to get you into a therapeutic community which has a longterm (12-18 months) rehab programme. Failing that, a shorter rehab with a naltrexone implant on discharge.
 
Last edited:
Well your never going to know if your dad is going to cut you off until you try. Not to mention it would be rather hard for him to keep money that is rightfully yours from you but sorting that usually would take access to more money. I am SURE your family knows something funny is going on so it might not be a big surprise. Find a detox and check in, you can always leave it you want. At least you have a desire to get clean that is a big head start. I know I wish I would have knocked out my opiate use a long, long time ago. After I stopped I was wondering why the fuck I waited so long to stop, I still ask myself that. It took me countless detoxes and many rehabs to finally get clean and some of those I did want to get clean but I guess I just wasn't ready to stop using. You have only been using opiates for 2 yrs?

peace.
seedless
 
Start by looking into an IOP program, they will be able to provide detox places/information.
 
yea i know . man i need to go to a detox, its because even with subs i still was feeling sick so with christmas and all i was so lonely and depressed i gave in ..................problem is i cant find a place to go since my insurance only covers 70 percent and my family doesnt know the extent of my problem and wouldnt be willing to help , theyd prob cut me off if i told them
 
jake99 said:
thanks guys, im just confused where to start with all this
Click to expand...

You start by picking up the phone and asking your family for help finding a detox. You said things went OK when you visited your mum a few days ago. Maybe she can help you deal with your dad.

You keep using your anxiety and depression as a reason for using but you aren't doing anything about those issues either. Even if you decide not to go to detox and rehab, at least get serious about working on those other issues.
 
Last edited:
problem is my mum is divorvced from my dad , she is supportive but is in bad shape herself. my dad and stepmom are ones who hold the power and have been to hell and back with me , even after i did 2 prison bids , they have helped me............they are mad because they knew i relapsed 5 months ago , and have seen me once since then and not talked to me much at all.......(they were that mad just cuz they knew i got high , not even knowing i had a dope prob again) So ive kept it hiddin all this time ,tried subs, methadone , not bein able to get clean , now its x mas time i wasnt invited was so lonely i copped a bun..........im pretty sure if i said dad im on dope again he would cut me off , he is in charge of my money (grandfather left to me when he passed) and i gotta do this without him knowing .........
 
being alone at christmas is tough bro - im sorry shit is like that. Keep your head up and yourself first priority and you will see what to do man.
 
You say your parents didn't invite you, but have you made an effort yourself to get together with them? They most likely don't invite you themselves because they feel like something is up and you're hiding it from them and not being honest with them.
 
I think that being cut off is a risk you have to take. Your DIY plans for getting clean haven't worked in the past and they aren't likely to work in the future because they fall well short of providing what you're likely to need to get clean and stay clean.

Even if you can manage to get into a free detox, you don't have the support systems in place which would give you the best chance of staying clean.

I'd suggest that you try either subs or methadone again and give them a proper chance to help you this time around by sticking with them and using them as intended, but I haven't seen anything in your many threads which indicates that you're going to be able to do that outside of a highly controlled - and probably institutional - setting.

Right now you can detox in a facility of your own choosing. One wrong move copping on the streets and you could lose that choice and find yourself detoxing in prison.

If you don't choose, eventually life will choose for you. You'll just give up on kicking, using will affect your health, you'll get arrested - eventually something will happen which takes the choices you have now away from you, and I sometimes get the feeling when reading your posts that you'd be relieved if it did because then the responsibility for making a choice and seeing it through would no longer be yours.
 
I want to know why this one person is permitted to break bluelight rules over and over again? Jake has his own thread dedicated to his struggle, yet he consistantly keeps making new threads that say the exact same thing?

He knows he has a thread for this shit, why isn't he being made to use it? Seriously so many times now i've just mindlessly clicked on a thread begun reading it, then thought hmm sounds similar to jake, oh wait, IT IS jake, with yet his 33rd or whatever number thread hes made about the same fucking thing.

I really feel for the dude, and have nothing against him personally and really want to see him succeed in what hes writing to bluelight about, but its hugely annoying when like a full grown adult keeps making thread after thread about the same thing their already 70 replies long thread is about....

Can we merge this thread into his other thread, it's just abusing the forum, theres no need to continually create new threads, it's stupid and it's needlessly creating more work for moderators.

Anyways good luck jake, nothing against you personally or your addiction, i just dont see why you need to keep creating new threads about the same thing. I've seen people banned for less.
 
8L4YN3 does have a point, jake. Which of these options would you prefer:

  • merge this thread into the 'N.A. meetings and judgmental people' thread
  • close the 'N.A. meetings and judgmental people' and keep this one alive

I'm inclined to suggest that we close the one thread since it really doesn't have a consistent theme according to the title.

just to help with any confusion... the 'N.A. meetings and judgmental people' was merged previously. When a thread is merged, all posts are listed by time and date (as opposed to simply appending one thread to another).

whatcha think?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top