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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

N.A. meetings and judgmental people

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blow just becomes it's own enemy: know how many I know who have fucked w/blow myself included, hundreds if not thousands - know how many of us are successfully doing shit all if we're still using blow - zero.

Be safe jake , opening one door when you are making a kick can leave you with guard down to warning signs. You can rationalize a lot of things w/kicking opiates - it's your head playing games bro.
 
Yeah I've seen plenty of people get fucked on coke without shooting or smoking it, so be very careful. What is your history with coke...have you used it often? Even if you were fine with it in the past, there is always the chance that you might use more heavily now that you are trying to get off the opiates.

Seriously man, is that really what you need right now? Do you really think coke is any better than dope? I feel a bit biased because I fucking hate coke, I've seen it mess up people close to me, and it made me feel worse than any other drug.

So yeah...do you really want to go through nasty comedowns while you're trying to get off the opiates? Do you think that anxiety and paranoia is going to be a good foundation for staying away from heroin?

I really do feel for you and want you to achieve your goals. So really just think about what you're doing. Sure maybe it won't be a problem. Nobody can say that it will for certain. But really just weigh the pros and cons and see if you think the coke is gonna help or not.
 
Be careful Jake. Coke's a drug you didn't previously like, so be careful that you're not using it just so that you can get fucked up on something while telling yourself that it's all good because you're rarely using opiates.
 
i hear u guys. i took a sub today...................no methadone or dope.......well took 6 mg of the film..............and i did sniff a little blow............i guess u guys are prob rite............im not gonna keep doin it . i didnt even enjoy it that much ..............id be better off smokin herb
 
^This is playing like a broken record bro. "I'm not going to keep doing it"... yeah until you get some disposable income again. Why didn't you like buy your mother a christmas present or something, or if you cannot resist spending all your money on drugs atleast just buy a heap of weed.

Sorry to be harsh, but from that reply sounds like you went and spent all your money on coke. And like i've said a million times man you're ignoring the mental reasons why you're doing opiates. The second you're not getting high off them, you're doing coke, but coke is okay because you dont have a habit with it yet?

Also what do you mean by "ive made it 2 weeks almost off the meth clinic so i can finish getting clean with these few subs since i got down to 20 mg yesterday (none today , sub tomorow)". Dude you cant expect to "get clean with these few subs", and this especially isn't going to work when you obviously still cant say no to getting high(no dope so you run straight to cocaine). Also how come you're saying you're 2 weeks off the meth clinic, but then you're saying you're 48 hours off of methadone? Which is it man? Or did you get 'done off the street?

I dunno man, i dont understand why like if you're trying to sort your shit out and get off opiates, why the hell would you be destabilizing yourself by doing coke. Look at the bigger picture man, just because you're not addicted to it now dosn't mean it cant cause problems for you, judging from your history, good chance it will cause you trouble.

I hate to say it but this whole attempt of getting off opiates seems very half assed and under planned, it's been desperately rushed, full of confusion and uncertainty... There is no plan for when you run out of meds other than to just put up with it and go to N.A meetings. This is laughable man, i mean it could work with someone who is 100% ready to jump off, they've had enough and don't have no desire to drugs anymore. But with someone like you who dosn't really know what they want, and it's obvious even just sticking to weed isnt enough for you, so you got MAD issues you need to work through, this is mad deeper than just getting off opiates, the problem isnt that. The problem is in your mind, and if you dont address this, you're going to keep going in these circles man.

Anyways man, i say all this because i want you to realise, overall i want to see a success story, so dont think i'm just being mean or something, im just being honest dude because sugar coating shit isnt going to help you. Good luck man...(just stick to bud!)
 
I wish you guys would realize it already.. jake doesn't want to get better. Not trying to put the guy down but those are the facts on the ground (if I may borrow a phrase from good ol George W). jake will probably continue going from one drug to the next until something major occurs either in his lifestyle or in his cognition.
 
^^^

I think people have frequently acknowledged that Jake doesn't seem to be in the best mental and emotional space for getting clean and expressed concern that the idea of it being impossible for him to get clean is only being reinforced by his constant changes of plan.

I think people do see the pattern to Jake's behaviour but probably regard commenting on it as being pointless.
 
I walked off the meth clinic 2 weeks ago .......................i am not doing dope anymore , over last 2 weeks i was doin dope and a few 10 mg meth pills to get by since i was on 55 mg meth and dope before............ok , i know the coke isnt good........i shouldnt have gotten it.............but i did and of course im gonna do it since i did but i realize i cant substitute that for opiates...........i know i soound like a mess but i really do wanna get better. im just really weak mentally........
 
So what's your current plan for staying off the dope? I doubt that you believe a few days worth of subs are going to be the answer any more than we do.

"I'm not doing dope anymore" isn't some magical incantation. The only thing that can get you clean is your own actions - and your actions are consistently those of someone who wants to continue using for now.

Right now you want to get high more than you want to avoid the negative consequences of continuing to use. You may want to get clean, but it seems more of an "eventually" goal to you than something you're committed to in the here and now.

If you're not ready to get clean yet, then I think it's better for you to accept that reality than it is to maintain the conflict between what you actually want and what you feel you "should" want. Perhaps you could work with a therapist on getting mentally and emotionally prepared to kick rather than continuing to pursue ill-fated, half-assed attempts which are doomed to fail.

And while it's apparent from your threads here that you can be easily influenced, I think that the whole "weak-willed" thing is a cop-out. Every one of us who's ever abused a substance knows just how much determination and effort we'll put into obtaining our drug of choice - we're pretty fucking strong-willed when we want something badly enough and we can just as easily apply that determination to positive change as we can to maintaining an addiction.
 
fuck the judgemental people, if people are judging you then they are picking out the shit thats wrong in their lives. so dont feel bad if someone is calling you a loser, there a loser right back at em.

I perfer the NA program, I go to AA to because I qualify for that to. The NA meetings around here are really helpfull to me, mostly everyone in the meeting is there for my DOC, so we all can relate to each others stories, I dont mean war stories but shit like how and where we were living.

the 12th tradition is really what keeps the program together. what you see and hear in the meetings staies in the meeting. this includes when your outside smoking after and before the meeting.

When I hear people talking about other people at a meeting it makes me think that i'm so glad that i'm not one of those fucking judging people. those people that judge you because of your sex,creed,religion,etc. arn't working a verry good program, so don't let that interfear with your program.
 
^yup

hey jake why not kinda prove to us that you wanna get clean and just throw that blow away? coke to me is one of the most insane drugs there is. its a short rush that your constantly chasing. you think you'll feel better when the coke is gone and your fiending?

muster up all the will power you got left and toss that shit out.

oh yeah and merry christmas :)
 
^^^

Your suggestion is more noble than the one I was considering making. I was thinking of advising Jake to sell the coke and put the money towards his living expenses as his income will be decreasing soon. But Jake's not really looking for ways to avoid using the coke.
 
D's: Who's judging jake? I don't see any sign of that. jake doesn't want to get clean, anyone can see that.
 
PhrostByte said:
D's: Who's judging jake? I don't see any sign of that. jake doesn't want to get clean, anyone can see that.
Click to expand...

i think D's is referring to the folks in NA that prompted the original thread as opposed to anyone here judging him
 
paranoid android said:
That money could be spent on much better things then coke too. Hell if you want to get rid of your cash so badly you would feel alot better giving your money to the poor so they can maybe eat this christmas then you would be spending your cash on coke and giving it to some scummy cokehead.
Click to expand...

I get that this meant with the best intentions, but....kinda not a good thing to say in a place where people tend to post when they are vulnerable, and by the name of this thread...already feeling judged :( Ironic how this thread turned into a demonstration of the concerns presented in the OP's innitial post.
 
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