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My wife cheated on me with my best friend...

Not Again said:
You can't really be thinking that you are going to stay with her?
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I forgot to mention this ^ I mean, it wasn't a brief affair. She told you it went on for years.
Frankly, I would have trouble trusting her again. Is it because of your son that you want to give her another chance?
Is he living with her at your in-laws and is there a visitation schedule?
 
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5 years is a long time.

its up to you what to do. i personally would not trust that bullshit behaviour because people behave to the degree that you tolerate
 
T. Calderone said:
The same can be said of your friend (why he picked her of all people?) I can't see how this went on for years and suddenly she fessed up either. Have you ever known him to date other women or did he have a girlfriend while all this was happening? Something just seems off here.
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Nah he has been single the whole time...I'm not sure why she fessed up to this either.
 
T. Calderone said:
I forgot to mention this ^ I mean, it wasn't a brief affair. She told you it went on for years.
Frankly, I would have trouble trusting her again. Is it because of your son that you want to give her another chance?
Is he living with her at your in-laws and is there a visitation schedule?
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Yes I am BEYOND done with her and I have my son.
She tried to apologize to me but c'mon now who the hell could possibly forgive what she ****ing did 6 damn years in my bed and in MY OWN SONS BED?? HELL NO.

You know what I find hilarious?? Women are always bitching and complaining about how hard it is to find a good and decent,caring man out there, YET they do malicious and cold blooded stuff like this..I mean really though???
 
I don't get why she suddenly felt the need to fess up though, it is strange. (especially telling you doing it in your son's bed. Why give the gory details?) It's good that she apologized but to honestly expect forgiveness and for you to take her back is asking a lot. I hope you can move on and start a new life without her.
 
Freetoliveagain said:
Yes I am BEYOND done with her and I have my son.
She tried to apologize to me but c'mon now who the hell could possibly forgive what she ****ing did 6 damn years in my bed and in MY OWN SONS BED?? HELL NO.

You know what I find hilarious?? Women are always bitching and complaining about how hard it is to find a good and decent,caring man out there, YET they do malicious and cold blooded stuff like this..I mean really though???
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Yeah, this is sometimes true, homey, but we can be equally shitty.
Try not to build up any prejudice from this. Keep and open mind and remember that it was just one woman.

llama112 said:
Divorce, but leave the kid out of it.
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How does one leave a kid out of a divorce? Tell them to close their eyes?
 
I'm 25 and I can't give you any advice, but best of luck to you man. That really blows, I hope that in the long run you find a nice woman and that your kid loves her. :)
 
Freetoliveagain said:
You know what I find hilarious?? Women are always bitching and complaining about how hard it is to find a good and decent,caring man out there, YET they do malicious and cold blooded stuff like this..I mean really though???
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And you wonder why women stereotype men... perhaps because you stereotype us as malicious and cold blooded. Wtf? You're mad at ONE woman. You have the right to be. Don't lump us all in the same category.

Animal Mother said:
How does one leave a kid out of a divorce? Tell them to close their eyes?
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Don't make the kid choose. Don't tell the kid how terrible the mother is. Say the two of you grew apart. The kid will always be effected by the divorce which is unfortunate but you have to put the kid first and make sure that they know you still love them. I don't know firsthand, my parents are still together, all I know is that you have to make sure you are loving the kid and making a LOT of effort towards the kid during a divorce. And it may involve still being civil with the ex-wife for the kid's sake.
 
Wow, I feel for you, please don't forgive her. Move on to find a real lady!!! We all make mistakes but YEARS!?!,! Hell no. A mistake is a once off confidence boost or a drunken mess ect. Take it from a kid that lived through viewing parental hell, your kid will be better off if you divorce....regardless of any nit picking at each other, as long as the child had access to you both and support he will be fine if not better than fine, follow the number 1 rule...no bad mouthing about her by anyone if the kid is around. Personally your wife is a tramp, and the only reason she has probably told you is because she has fallen out with her lover and wants the excuse that you know to make a clean break from him. So he can't call or pop round ect. She is crazy, don't change your ways, somewhere out there is the true love of your life that would never cause you such pain. As for your so called friend keep your hands to yourself and allow karma to kick his ass, he really isn't worth the typing space let alone air!!! It will take time, but move on and live love laugh eventually. It's their loss not yours....I have enemy's that are kinder :(
 
I totally agree with everyone else, divorce her and move on to bigger and better and happier things <3

Don't try to get revenge on your friend, it will only land YOU in trouble, which would be really unfair since you've done nothing wrong.

Please don't involve your son with any unnecessary details, don't tell him what she did. She is his mother and it will only screw him up if he has a negative view of his mother from a young age.

Good luck man, take it easy on yourself and try not to get sucked down in the hurt and anger for too long. Life is too short <3
 
llama112 said:
And you wonder why women stereotype men... perhaps because you stereotype us as malicious and cold blooded. Wtf? You're mad at ONE woman. You have the right to be. Don't lump us all in the same category.



Don't make the kid choose. Don't tell the kid how terrible the mother is. Say the two of you grew apart. The kid will always be effected by the divorce which is unfortunate but you have to put the kid first and make sure that they know you still love them. I don't know firsthand, my parents are still together, all I know is that you have to make sure you are loving the kid and making a LOT of effort towards the kid during a divorce. And it may involve still being civil with the ex-wife for the kid's sake.
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The mother is terrible, but instead of telling him something negative, you suggest lying by omission? Followed by just flat out lying?
Little children have little brains just like we do, and they learn behavior through mimicry. So you'd have them learn to fake smiles and hide their emotions just like you're going to every time that you see your cheating ex that ruined your marriage? Nobody is going to stop loving that child, so I fail to see how the child is going to need extra reassurance. If anything, it will set off alarms in the child's head that something is wrong.

Op,Give the child the truth, and let him make an objective opinion. It's a good pattern of thought for him to develop and continue using later in life. Also, you know what and who is best for your child, and as his guardian, you make decisions for him like where he should stay, and how much he should see the other parent. Nobody here knows this person, or you, or that specific child's needs like you do.

And women don't stereotype men because of some mass victimization that they have all suffered. Women generalize for the same reasons that men do, because our brains are wired to do this so that we make safe choices. The man is emotional, and more prone to it than normal.
 
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Animal Mother said:
You're living in a fantasy land.
The mother is terrible, but instead of telling him something negative, you suggest lying by omission? Followed by just flat out lying?
Little children have little brains just like we do, and they learn behavior through mimicry. So you'd have them learn to fake smiles and hide their emotions just like you're going to every time that you see your cheating ex that ruined your marriage? Nobody is going to stop loving that child, so I fail to see how the child is going to need extra reassurance. If anything, it will set off alarms in the child's head that something is wrong.
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I'm not sure that the mother is terrible; it sounds to me like the mother has done terrible things. It's not as though one could fully expect for this woman to neglect the child altogether and outright just because she has engaged in an on-going affair. If having an affair or not having an affair were the measure by which DCF deemed parents unloving, unfit and terrible, then I would have to imagine there being far, far fewer capable parents. And it's not about faking smiles and hiding emotions. It's about allowing one's son or daughter to spend time with his or her own mother, unobstructed and without any kind of prejudice thrust upon the child, and, eventually, the child's coming to some conclusion all on his own as to whether or not this person he calls his mother is someone terrible.
 
"She gave a toy that belonged to me to someone else. The most special toy there is."
 
Johnny1 said:
"She gave a toy that belonged to me to someone else. The most special toy there is."
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lol
for serious though.
Why is it so hard to tell a child what has happened?
"Cheating is a bad thing"
"Mommy cheated"

That's it. Go from there. Regardless of the age. Otherwise you're lying.
verso said:
I'm not sure that the mother is terrible; it sounds to me like the mother has done terrible things. It's not as though one could fully expect for this woman to neglect the child altogether and outright just because she has engaged in an on-going affair. If having an affair or not having an affair were the measure by which DCF deemed parents unloving, unfit and terrible, then I would have to imagine there being far, far fewer capable parents. And it's not about faking smiles and hiding emotions. It's about allowing one's son or daughter to spend time with his or her own mother, unobstructed and without any kind of prejudice thrust upon the child, and, eventually, the child's coming to some conclusion all on his own as to whether or not this person he calls his mother is someone terrible.
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I'm sure that the woman is of stellar character. That's why she continued this for 5 years. I never said anything about her being an unfit mother or how much she deserves to see the child. And we pretty much both agreed on the point of letting the child form his own opinion. ..so..


also, for some reason I was thinking ghe child closer to 10, but I don't really feel like that changes anything.
 
Animal Mother said:
Why is it so hard to tell a child what has happened?
"Cheating is a bad thing"
"Mommy cheated"

That's it. Go from there. Regardless of the age. Otherwise you're lying.
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Because it's unnecessary. What if she's a good mother in other respects? Even though she did it and fucked everything up, it's better for the boy if he doesn't have to try to understand if she's good or bad or how she's bad or anything like that. Until one day when he's way older. And if she's the one who tells him then, he'll respect his father that much more for not bursting his balloon. Cheating happens, even among otherwise good people. The sex drive is very powerful.

It was also unnecessary for her to tell the OP about it. What was the point? It was in the past. Unless she wanted out and didn't want to seem like the bad guy.
 
fuck that. she don't deserve you.


also find an alternate way to please your mate.

also. pics or it didn't happen.
 
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