Scared My story...

[Flynnal]

Well I got a scare this morning. My right ear suddenly had a ring and then my hearing in that ear started to fade out a bit precipitating a brutal panic attack. I took 20 minutes for it to come back but again there was a ring when any sound came through it.

In the space of 10 minutes I went into a brown-out, and suffered what I thought was an episode of VT and thought I was literally going to die. I would have been glad if my heart stopped in all honestly because I thought I was about to go through a repeat of this nightmare and this time I would have pegged it. I am just so sick of living in fear. It's getting to a point where it's too much to cope with.

For fuck sake someone give me some Rivotril!

 

[Flynnal]

So this epic saga continues as of December 21. Suddenly whilst sitting at my PC I notice that my right ear was overlaying normal sound with a higher pitched sound. Noticed that when I rub my ears (either of them) my right ear has ringing sound that seems to increase with sound. The ringing goes back down within 1 or 2 seconds of the sound stopping but it's still there just at a lower level. This happens with voices - especially female voices where I get a weird sound that tries to compete with the voice but never drowns it out or anything as bad as that. I also have random intermittent warm feeling in my right ear that comes and goes too, it's bizarre. It could be otitis media with effusion (mild obviously) but it could be something else and I don't even want to go there because it means my life is over.

This has got me fucked up again. I went on a 10 day course of steroids starting the day this thing started and I'm tapering. No real luck, no major improvement, it might be like 25% improvement at most certainly not even close to back to how it was.

It's now 2 weeks since this shit started. I've been to two EDs, both Gosford on day 2 of this, and Wyong just this past Saturday. The doctor at Wyong told me an ENT would ring me. Haven't heard from the ENT as yet.

But I am still terrified this is going to end badly. My life depends on reasonably good hearing. I mean, surely I can catch a break...nah, God obviously doesn't want me hanging around. I must have done something pretty bad to deserve something that would make me not want to live any more. Surely. What have I done?

Hope this clears up within a few weeks. Seeing another doctor (this one is really compassionate) so perhaps they might be able to do something to help. Just praying this clears up eventually.

 

[Flynnal]

Everything back to close to normal. There's still a ringing that is noticeable at night when I'm alone. The left ear started to do this as of a couple weeks ago, just at a higher pitch. But every now and again I get a hint of something waiting in the wings. Ménières Disease by the sounds of it. Not looking good since it's now going bilateral. My passion is music and if that is taken away from me I feel there is simply no point in going on.

I'm planning on eventually selling everything and leaving everything to my sisters should the inevitable (well, I think it might be) happen and so that they have a better chance at building up a deposit on a house and of course to pay for my funeral. They're all in the education field so no problems with job security.