Scared My story...

[Flynnal]

UPDATE: Well, I've escalated the complaint, and got into a huge fight with my parents over SMS about it. They said they were going to block me, so I told them that they did a permanent job and that they probably just lost their son. So, that's it.

Aside from cleaning up my original post and some of my other replies to tone down the expletives a bit so that some readers aren't put off as much, because I think there were just too many cuss words in there, so I cleaned things up a bit. Hopefully more people can read this and learn that sometimes the system will screw you over no matter how careful you are. I was careful. I knew this was a medical emergency, I knew this SSNHL had to be treated right away...but that doctor...oh my...what an arrogant clown. You see, I was so careful, and yet here I am talking about how I was failed by the system even though I was so careful, did everything right, and still they wanted me dead. I am sorry that I was on a disability support pension, I am sorry that I'm on the NDIS, I'm sorry that I called an ambulance even though it was actually a genuine emergency, and I'm sorry that I'm costing the government money. I'm just so, so, so sorry, but it's not my fault that I was born this way. Blame the obstetrician who should have delivered me but instead left my mother 36+ hours in labor resulting in me suffering some degree of diffuse brain damage. It was not my fault...yet here I am today, being treated by the system like worthless garbage...even my parents agree with the system now. So, I guess I have had to wipe them. What a crying shame.

 

[Jabberwocky]

How can we help you Flynnal? Are you looking for advice, a sympathetic ear, just wanting to vent your anger?

All of these things are readily available here but without knowing what you need it’s a bit hard to know how to respond. You seem pretty angry and I wouldn’t want to accidentally inflame you further with gratuitous advice if you didn’t want it.

 

[Flynnal]

How can we help you Flynnal? Are you looking for advice, a sympathetic ear, just wanting to vent your anger?

All 3 of those things, to be honest. And I mean that. I am really, really hurting right now.

All of these things are readily available here but without knowing what you need it’s a bit hard to know how to respond. You seem pretty angry and I wouldn’t want to accidentally inflame you further with gratuitous advice if you didn’t want it.

Nothing that you or anyone else says here would inflame me. I find that venting is cathartic and that I need to get this all out, because I just know that you all here are so understanding, certainly much more so than any other group of people. I know that you all here have been through a lot of hard stuff too, and I find that a lot of people here have much more empathy than pretty much every other group I have encountered.

 

[Flynnal]

Well, I've been contacted by the Hospital, and they were able to identify the doctor. I won't name names, but I now have something to go on. Once the investigation is finished, I will send that doctor a letter and explain to, in my own words, exactly what transpired, and what had happened to me as a result of her decision to deny me the steroids I needed to save my hearing. Hopefully when she reads the letter, she will understand my response to her decision and why it affected me so badly. I would hope that she would move on from that, it may be an emotionally charged letter, but should go a long way to explain why my mental health deteriorated so severely over such a short space of time.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I would hope that she would move on from that,

I hope you can move on from it. It sounds like a bad experience but you are obsessing over it and verging on being vindictive in your attitide and actions towards the doctor in question. It sounds like you won’t be happy until she’s been fired and publically shamed. Have you never made an error of judgement?

While this doctor may have made an error about your ear, she’s working in the ER of a public hospital where she probably saved the lives of a half dozen people that weekend. At the end of the day you were fine. Who knows what pressures she was working under that night?

 

[Flynnal]

I hope you can move on from it. It sounds like a bad experience but you are obsessing over it and verging on being vindictive in your attitide and actions towards the doctor in question. It sounds like you won’t be happy until she’s been fired and publically shamed. Have you never made an error of judgement?

While this doctor may have made an error about your ear, she’s working in the ER of a public hospital where she probably saved the lives of a half dozen people that weekend. At the end of the day you were fine. Who knows what pressures she was working under that night?

Not vindictive, just upset with what could have happened to me. I know that might come across as vindictive, but I didn't mean to come across that way. I'm starting to let it go, so hopefully things will get better.

And you are right about her possibly saving the lives of half a dozen people that weekend, and for that I should give her credit. I obviously have no idea what sort of pressure she was working under...probably a great deal of it. And for that I'm sorry if I came across as boisterous.

I'm speaking with psychologists and working on my anxiety (and depression/anger) problem. And also the issue with thought loops. I need to work on that too. I know this probably won't matter by next year, so hopefully I've moved on by then.

 

[Flynnal]

Well, well, well...I hope my ENT clarifies this, but he sent a letter to my GP regarding the issue that I discussed with him. He recommended a referral to a psychiatrist (good), but then it said that steroids were not indicated (what the fuck? I wonder what he meant - that they were not indicated now? or that they were not indicated on the 26th June when I suffered the SSNHL? If it was the latter then if this ever happens again I may go through this again, and the outcome could be tragic. Hopefully it's the former. I will get clarification soon, hopefully this week sometime. If it is the latter then basically I'm just living on borrowed time because if this happens again and I am refused steroids because of what this fucking ENT wrote on my medical record, and my hearing ends up permanently ruined then that's a death sentence, and I'm not even joking.

What...the...fuck? I sure hope it's the former, and that he wasn't referring to that incident where I had to deal with that fucking twat of a doctor. Seriously, I would rather end it than have to deal with something like this ever again. It was just too fucking brutal. Too brutal. It's not happening, it's...just...not...happening. The mental distress would make anyone contemplate suicide, never mind someone who is already dealing with my problems.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

Hi Flynnal,
Have you seen your regular ENT since this thing happened? If so, then he probably means that you are not in need of steroids currently.
The really sad thing about healthcare is that people are overwhelmed and often work 12 hour shifts. This means care to patients suffers.
I’m sorry you had to go through this.

 

[Flynnal]

If so, then he probably means that you are not in need of steroids currently.

Thanks for your support!

That's what I am hoping. I think this is most likely the case. I just need clarification so I know why he wrote it.

Yes, I did visit this ENT since this crisis happened. He actually told me the doctor at Wyong ED put my hearing at risk. The HCCC tried to contact him, or have requested an opinion. Hopefully the HCCC settle this soon, hopefully they inform the doctors at Wyong ED about SSNHL so it never happens again. I spoke to another ENT as well, and he said that if the doctor doubts that it is SSNHL then steroids should be started anyway just in case it is - because delaying treatment often causes permanent hearing loss - hence why the first ENT said that she put my hearing at risk.

Just because she may have been on a 12 hour shift doesn't excuse her of the fact that she ignored the seriousness of the problem I presented to her with. I don't think she was under pressure, but I presented immediately with SSNHL and she didn't even bother to do basic tests like the hum test.

 

[Fiori di Bella]

I don’t know how large the city is that you live in, and if you have other ERs you can visit. Years of going to the ER have made me wiser than I once was. I have frequent kidney stones, generally 4 per year as I don’t make a certain enzyme. I’m well versed in my condition and I know when I have a stone just as you do when you have an attack of the SSNLH.
When I go to the ER I basically take charge and tell them I know that I have a stone, I always have them, I offer to give them a urine sample (they test for blood and leukocytes) and if they want we can do a CT scan. I make it quite clear that I am in need of some pain management and I’m generally offered IV Dilaudid, which works splendidly. I have had instances in which the ER doc has said they don’t offer narcotics for kidney stones. That’s when I leave and take myself to another hospital. Luckily, I have a wonderful urologist that I knew when she was just a resident. She’s now my doc and we’ve been together for 12 years. I go to the ER at the hospital where she’s on staff and I’ve never had a problem. I did have a stone while visiting my brother in another (pretty backward) state a few months ago and I was not taken very seriously by the ER doc. I asked to speak to the urologist on call and he laughed and said there was no urologist on staff at the hospital! I was in a tiny town and the nearest hospital besides this hospital was 300+ miles away. It was a crappy experience.
So, my dear Flynnal, I really hope you have the option to go to another hospital if this happens again. I really hope you are not without options if this should happen again.

 

[Flynnal]

I did have a stone while visiting my brother in another (pretty backward) state a few months ago and I was not taken very seriously by the ER doc. I asked to speak to the urologist on call and he laughed and said there was no urologist on staff at the hospital! I was in a tiny town and the nearest hospital besides this hospital was 300+ miles away. It was a crappy experience.
So, my dear Flynnal, I really hope you have the option to go to another hospital if this happens again. I really hope you are not without options if this should happen again.

That really sounds like a nightmare. I know how painful stones are, as my sister had them. Did you ever make a complaint about that hospital? That sort of thing wouldn't pass go with me. The fact that they laughed at you is a sure sign that they didn't care about you. I know what I would have done. I'd have complained no end. Patronizing you like that is just insane.

I do have two hospitals here. One at Wyong and another at Gosford. I think maybe that because I made a complaint about the doctor at Wyong ED, maybe they'll treat me differently the next time I present with this problem...I am pretty sure after the matter has been dealt with by the HCCC, things might be different, especially if the ENT that I spoke of has provided an opinion to the effect that my hearing was put at risk.

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

And yes, fuck her for sure. I will never want to see her ever again after that. Hell, she didn't even conduct basic tests using a tuning fork, nor did she ask me to do a hum test. She was an ignorant arrogant clown. She needs to be reported to a higher authority and I think I should take the matter further. Honestly I want to sue the living daylights out of her for causing serious psychological problems which I now have and which may affect me for a long time to come.

I’m not trying to sound ignorant here... and I didn’t read this whole thread so maybe I missed something.... BUT isn’t there something to be said for the fact that you went with a hearing loss issue, your doctor gave you a treatment plan to follow, and it worked in your favor?
Regardless of the fact that you thought x y and z should have been done... she was/is the doctor ... and in your scenario you turned out ok?

 

[Flynnal]

I’m not trying to sound ignorant here... and I didn’t read this whole thread so maybe I missed something.... BUT isn’t there something to be said for the fact that you went with a hearing loss issue, your doctor gave you a treatment plan to follow, and it worked in your favor?
Regardless of the fact that you thought x y and z should have been done... she was/is the doctor ... and in your scenario you turned out ok?

You don't understand. I had SSNHL that recovered spontaneously. She gave me medication for Swimmers Ear not SSNHL.

Just because my hearing came back does not absolve the doctor of her failings. All she had to do was prescribe a 10 day supply of prednisolone. Big deal, right? That is the *only* treatment for SSNHL.

She put my hearing at risk. The "treatment plan" as you put it was not appropriate for SSNHL nor was it even indicated for anything other than an outer ear infection.

The funny thing is she put down middle ear infection which the ear drops are not really effective for anyway, so I am assuming she tried to cover her ass to protect herself from litigation.

 

[nuttynutskin]

It sounds like you're letting a potential wrongdoing eat you up. I mean you're better now right? Why don't you just let it go? I doubt you're going to gain anything to try to pursue legal action against this.

 

[Flynnal]

It sounds like you're letting a potential wrongdoing eat you up. I mean you're better now right? Why don't you just let it go? I doubt you're going to gain anything to try to pursue legal action against this.

I am not so much pursuing legal action as I am wanting this doctor to understand that she nearly fucked up my life or ended it altogether.

 

[Flynnal]

Well, I saw a doctor today to find out what the ENT had written in his letter to the GP. Now this is interesting, I was refused that information and that I had to speak to the ENT for that information.

Can you honestly believe that someone would refuse to provide information that a patient has every fucking right to know? Of all people, a fucking GP?

I spoke to this GP about what had happened, and, in his stupefied ignorance, he said that prednisone doesn't treat sudden hearing loss. So I told him what would have happened had I presented to him with this problem, that he would have lost a patient, and stormed out. In the reception room I wrote a note to the doctor to look up SSNHL and understand that it needs urgent treatment. Hopefully he reads it and learns something for a change. A lot of GPs are as dumb as a bag of rocks when it comes to shit like this, sadly. I plan to write a letter to ALL GPs in the Woy Woy Clock Tower that this is a serious matter and should be dealt with urgently.

A prominent ENT will be doing the same thing after I discussed what had happened with him over an email recently - and it won't be just one practice, it will be to every single GP in the country via a newsletter.

 

[Flynnal]

Well I'm not sure where to begin but the ENT told me a different thing than what he did when I visited him. I'll get checked up again in December. I remember explaining everything to him but for some reason he thinks that someone who suffers SSNHL can wait up to 6 weeks. I'm like no fucking way. Another ENT in Perth says 1 to 3 days and you know who I'm going to believe, don't you?

He also said corticosteroids were not healthy. Of course not. Well, no shit, I took them in 2007 for SSNHL in my left ear and the side effects were not at all pleasant but they were bearable and I did gain 2kgs in 3 weeks and was irritable for a while but at least I got my left side hearing back 99% so that's alright isn't it?

I would agree with him that high dose corticosteroids are not healthy but I also wanted to emphasise that taking a massive overdose of Nembutal or walking under a bus is probably not that healthy either.

I guess I got my point across and he told me to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible - at least he was 100% right about that point.

Sure I would never touch corticosteroids if I didn't have to, believe me I wouldn't, but I wasn't going to wait and risk permanent hearing loss either LOL what the fuck was that all about!

 

[Flynnal]

Still feeling mentally fucked up.

I think the HCCC is all about doctors covering each other's arses.

Does losing a patient to suicide ever cross their minds?

 

[Flynnal]

I thought I'd update this.

Dr Helen Cook (Wyong ED), Dr Singh (ENT at Gosford), and the HCCC all appear as though they may not be of any help to me...in fact they may be placing the hearing of future patients at risk, because they will believe what Dr Singh wrote - that you have 6 weeks to treat SSNHL which is total fucking bullshit, you have 24 to 72 hours if you want any chance of recovering ALL of your hearing. Some people just don't fucking understand, do they?

Looks like I'm living on borrowed time. Doctors look after other doctors, like cops look after other cops. If this ever happens again, how can I be sure I won't be sent home to commit suicide again?

Honest to fucking GOD I am so terrified of this happening again. After all the trauma I went through I cannot even bear to think of this happening again. I think I'm done here. Honestly I think I'm done. I cannot cope with anxiety. I am going to see a GP to see if she can give me 30 prednisone tablets every 2 years, just so I don't have to be so fucking scared all the time...and if she doesn't want to help me there then I'll ask for some Rivotril 0.25/0.5mg because I am going to need it to have any chance to stop feeling so terrified all the time. Valium isn't going to cut it any more, believe me I've tried. It doesn't touch this anxiety. Rivotril did a supreme job of smashing the shit out of this anxiety. 0.5mg did a 10/10 job. Valium would have been lucky to get to 3/10.

God I pity the patient with SSNHL who gets turned away and permanently loses his fucking hearing all because of the shit this ENT wrote to the HCCC. Honestly I don't ever want anyone else to go through what I did...perhaps they'd cope better than me...but hearing loss is fucking devastating, I don't ever want someone to suffer this unnecessarily. It's not fair, it's just not fair.

 

[Flynnal]

Well I'm not supposed to know stuff about my health..."get off the internet" they say.

Um, yeah that's a bit strange eh? I should just remain blissfully ignorant. Ok master, if my health gets fucked up because I didn't know I had to treat something urgently then you are responsible for my death, um, okay?