My sister is having a baby when she isnt ready

Methadone84

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so she announced shes pregnant and im shocked cuz shes only 20 years old and she hasnt even been with the guy for like arely a year

it gets me mad SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE HER DRIVERS LICENSE and she is acting all excited when how is she supposed to take care of this she cant take care of herself

I think she should get an abortion cuz i dont see how she could do this but i dont want to tell her cuz i dont know how she would react

she acts like a baby enough i dont need to have another 1 around.
 
my sister did the same thing at 20, she had the baby and is raising it fine (years later now). Hopefully having a baby will force her to mature, and it will happen fast. It's not the worst thing that can happen and people need to reproduce somehow. My point is that it can work out fine, it's certainly scary as you can't picture how it will turn out but people change when they have kids (or hopefully change, for the better). There are of course shitty parents who shouldn't have kids but if she is genuinely excited then i'd give her a chance.

maybe you can help her get her driver's license and be a part of the baby's life or something. Think about how she feels in the situation, she's probably somewhat scared and perhaps with your support she'll be more confident and ready to mature.
 
my sister did the same thing at 20, she had the baby and is raising it fine (years later now). Hopefully having a baby will force her to mature, and it will happen fast. It's not the worst thing that can happen and people need to reproduce somehow. My point is that it can work out fine, it's certainly scary as you can't picture how it will turn out but people change when they have kids (or hopefully change, for the better). There are of course shitty parents who shouldn't have kids but if she is genuinely excited then i'd give her a chance.

maybe you can help her get her driver's license and be a part of the baby's life or something. Think about how she feels in the situation, she's probably somewhat scared and perhaps with your support she'll be more confident and ready to mature.

i see what your saying.

all she ever does is cry and WHINE and now shes already asking people to be their babysitter is she expecting us to do everything for her?
 
Man, maybe you really should sit her down and calmly discuss all of your concerns with her. It sounds like she really does need someone to tell her the realities of what she is facing. I know it might seem daunting to have to talk to her about it, and you're worried at how she will react, but it's worth a try. Instead/Also, she should speak to a family planning counsellor (not sure what you guys call them in the States?). Whilst I agree with RobotRipping that it's highly likely she will grow up FAST when the baby arrives, I think she still needs to have the facts thoroughly explained to her beforehand.
 
^^^ agree.

A lot of young parent mature a lot once the baby comes. They realize they have to now, and they usually enjoy it.

And a lot of parents don't mature one bit. Which is the reason I see kids running around my place of employment all day screaming and crying like wild untamed hyhenas. I agree with meth for the most part. She's entirely too young, has no remote experience or idea as to how a child will actually influence her life. And on top of that she's that much less likely at that age to properly raise a child. Sure she'll grow up, fast, but to a degree. And everyone has a breaking point (where they say "fuck it" and spoil the child giving into their demands, and their children become 280lbs at age 3).

My only point is that even when you are successful, married in a stable relationship, financially sound, older more mature and experienced in the real world etc, raising a child "properly" (lets not even get into that) is STILL an incredibly difficult thing to do. And that doesn't even consider this situation going bad. Going bad is her not working, and the father being forced to slave the rest of his life legally when for the mother she can just live off the state and collect the fathers check for the baby of course (lol).

Anyway, not trying to be negative. Lots of people do it and succeed at it. Somewhat at least. And it can still have a more positive effect on her life in the long run compared to her not having a kid. As having a child can innately trigger you to value life more. But either way try to just inform and support her, not of your opinions, but as many facts as possible. Single mothers get more access to government aid and assistance programs than anyone I know. WIC checks, state grants and scholarships, food stamps, utitility bill assistance, etc. This is NOT to focus on the negative but the more prepared she is and the more she knows the more capable she will be of maintaining a good life for her child.
 
Well I agree there too, some parents dont mature. Me and my ex-gf had two kids, when we decided to have our first I was 18, she was 24, after he was 3 months she wanted to go out party, I had straightened up a lot, I was always high, and I stopped that, so I was always staying home taking care of our son. Then a year later we wanted a another kid and had our daughter, I thought my ex was actually maturing finally, she even said she didnt want to party through the baby years again, but at 3 months old, she wanted to go out again, I got mad. Yes, I think she should have a life. I was 19 and wanted a life too, but I didnt want to party just have a little time to myself since I was always the stay at home mom, or even just sit at a friends house. She didnt like that though, only she should be able to go out, but she would get wasted and not come home for days.

I remember once I just wanted to go tanning, buy a book and see a friend, after a hour she called me saying she cant handle taking care of them, where was I and could I come home. I was pissed, all I asked for was 3 hours alone. She worked all day 5-6 days a week, so she never taken care of our kids. And she wouldnt even try. I later found out she was also talking to her boss, and she wasnt really working late some times, she was out drinking with him. I did everything for our kids, I was the one they saw when they would wake up in the middle of the night, morning, I fed them, gave them a bath, cleaned house, made dinner for me and my ex so she would have a hot meal after work. I got no respect. Even if I just went to the store I took one or both kids with m, since she would throw a fit if I left them.

I was done with it, I love my kids, but I couldnt take her any more, so i moved back home. I still call and check on my kids though, shes still not taking care of them, they are now living with her aunt. Shes a unfit mom.

But not everyone is like that. A lot of my young friends have kids and are great with them.
 
fuck. I'm sorry for this loss to the family. I hope she takes advantage of any resources she needs to get through this
 
fuck. I'm sorry for this loss to the family. I hope she takes advantage of any resources she needs to get through this
its surprising too since she stopped smoking and drinking for this and started drinking milk even tho she hates it cuz she heard its good for the baby
 
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