My life as of now

There are times when nothing is going on and there are times when everything happens at once. Everything is happening at once now and on top of this i have to give up smoking. I'm going to start working out to get back into shape because i have been out of shape for far too long. Plus the exercising will help the ungodly cravings for cigarettes I may have to hoof it a good bit the summer so ya being in shape will help.

Hopefully i will be moving as well so i have to figure the logistics of that out. Things would be so much easier if i didn't actually need medication as that complicates things alot.

Ugh i hate my life being so complicated. Fuck sakes!

 

Is it me or does the onset of Summer seem to bring all manner of changes?
Good luck with giving up the cigarettes PA!
Totally get how things 'seem' to snowball once something gets put in motion. Try to focus on the nuts and bolts things that you can organise and if things become overwhelming, see what you can rationally break down; write down/organise a plan, too much stress and moving can be a huge pressure!

Guess anything that is uncertain will have to remain that way until you can find some direction to put it in.
Getting fit will be a great stress reliever and will help with the emotional fallout from this change, good luck with it all and hope you get some clarity on the meds situation soon.

 

those cigarettes are tough but consistent exercise will help significantly. I'm not one to CT from nicotine (I end up going to horrible places in my head) so I'm a big fan of nicotine patches. Currently I'm on Day 27 of a 21 mg patch but the commitment still needs to be there.

The mental mind fuck seems to make guest appearances out of nowhere. Ya just got suffer through them unfortunately.

You're a strong dude, PA. You got this

 

I never understood why people maintain that quitting smoking is more difficult than quitting heroin. I mean, I have seen chainsmokers quitting Cold Turkey and have never seen a single one defecate in their pants or heave their last 2 days of food. Maybe they mean psychologically? Anyway, guess I shouldn't be the fly in the ointment, hope you are successful Paranoid.

 

^ Rach is it purely psychological. Reminds me of a coke jones actually.

 

Android, overdone, (or anybody who has experienced both): Which is worse - a bad coke jones (something I have experienced after iv cocaine sessions) or the craving for nicotine (I have no idea since I never took up smoking tobacco) or heroin withdrawal?

 

I can only speak about the coke comedown and nicotine withdrawal since I've only experienced very mild withdrawal symptoms from dope.

They are pretty dissimilar to each other but horrible in their own ways. The comedown from IV coke is filled with that powerful craving for one more and the emotional despair of knowing that there is none and often nothing to take the edge off. Combined with the inability to immediately sleep away that need for more it is magnified.

Nicotine plays a real mental mind-fuck on me. I get extremely volatile towards others and sometimes want to harm myself. I've been completely abstinent from drugs and alcohol for almost 7 months. In that time I think I am on my third attempt at quitting cigarettes. In the beginning of CT from nicotine I am beyond being just some asshole. Its like the deep down nasty shit that I hold down all comes up at once. I want to fight. I self-sabotage. I manipulate thoughts to justify getting high again. I think of self-injury. I also noticed a pattern of hurting the ones that care about me in an attempt to have them disassociate with me.

The intense cravings for coke would be gone whenever I woke up after finally sleeping. With going CT with nicotine, the physical need lasts about 3 days but cravings last a long time. I find myself coming up with all kinds of nonsensical justifications to give in to smoking and more often than not, I cave in.

I guess its about timespan. If someone gave me a choice between having to go through a 4 hour comedown from coke or a 4 hour CT from nicotine I would go with the CT from nicotine.

If someone were to make me choose between a 72 hour coke comedown or 72 hours CT from nicotine I would still go with the nicotine withdrawal.

If I had to endure the worst part of both of these for 72 hours I would choose the coke comedown simply because of the pattern I have of thinking of harming myself or others when coming off the cigarettes.

I don't think everyone gets violent from nicotine withdrawal but I don't think I'm too alone in experiencing this mental breakdown type of thing.

Oh! Today is day 28 of wearing a 21mg nicotine patch. Nicotine hasn't entered my system via any other route than one of these patches a day

 

There really is a physically dependency, just extremely mild in relation to any other psychoactive. People just fixate on such nonsense like that maxim, "quitting cigarettes is harder than quitting heroin." Somehow I don't think it was coined by a junkie hahaha. Psychologically though, it must be hell to see cigarettes all the time. You won't see people banging 50CC of heroin on every corner but lo and behold people smoke everywhere. Its nothing like it was when I was a kid. I remember choking on airline flights, seeing doctors chain smoke haha. Damn I am old.

 

Well physically nicotine withdrawal is pretty mild though you do get the rushes of blood pressure, messed up stomach, more aches and pains then usual and a symptom i always get which is headaches. For some reason nicotine WD related headaches do not respond well to any one medication so i resort to APAP, ibuprofen along with morphine to help. That with the light headed feeling is pretty unpleasant as it can be pretty disorienting.

The psychological symptoms are what get you though because just like say IV coke your always looking for a hit. So in that way they are very similar. Atleast after a dose of morphine you can go on about your day and you won't think of it until withdrawal hits but with cigarettes you are always fucking thinking of lightening them up fucking always

So i would say that nicotine as well as cocaine both have very strong psychological cravings when you withdraw which is why you kinda go bat shit when coming off either or atleast i do. I had a punch up with my bro over nothing other then he pissed me off and i was quitting smoking so yeah it can cause violence in some already slightly unbalanced people such as myself. Coming off IV coke is infinitely worse but kinda the same deal where as with say morphine, dilaudid or oxycodone i was often just satisfied with enough to get my sick off even when i did alot of IV use.