Sleep - No Chance
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2012
- Messages
- 9
My Life As A Meth Addict
January 27 2012: It was the day after Australia day and I had been out drinking for close to 24 hours straight with my best mates in what was supposed to be us celebrating the foundation of Australia. Little did I know that this iconic day would prove to be an anniversary date that I will now never forget for all the very wrong reasons.
I must of had between 50-60 standard drinks under my belt (within the last 24 hour period) that day when I met a good mate of mine for what we refer to as a “kick on” AKA Kick the party on. We met at a local bar and she was talking about her activities from the previous night’s celebrations and mentioned that she had been using meth or Ice as we refer to it in Australia. She mentioned this in conversations not expecting me to be the slightest bit interested or intrigued. Now at this stage my knowledge of Meth was very minimal as it is not as prevalent here in Australia as when compared to the US (or so I thought). All I knew was that it was highly addictive and only junkies touch that sh!t. Now I am not blaming my lack of sensibility due to the excess amount of alcohol I had consumed that day for one second when I asked my friend if I could try some. At first she was very reluctant to involve me with this drug due to my personality and of course the dangers although after a few more drinks and my use of strong negotiation skills she agreed to let me try this “wonder drug” they call Meth.
We leave the pub we were at and go to our closest mate’s house which happened to be only 2 blocks away. We invited ourselves in, exchanged greetings and asked if we could use the bathroom. My mate did think it was kind of strange that we both wanted to use the bathroom at the same time although he put it down to us “hooking up” and pointed us upstairs. Now in the bathroom with the doors locked, I get my first look at my soon to be new best friend and worst enemy. My friend pulls a small bag out of her handbag of what looked to be tiny little bits of broken glass and loads up her pipe. She carefully tutors me on how to manoeuvre the pipe to obtain the best results, how hard to inhale and where to hold the lighter. I was overwhelmed with excitement so here goes *spark spark* and before I knew it I had inhaled the devil himself. It was the best taste and most euphoric feeling I had ever experienced. I felt like I could conquer the world, I felt like anything was possible, I felt invisible but little did I know that I would be unsuccessfully chasing that very same feeling at the exact moment for the next 6 months religiously.
For the next 3 days my same friend and I smoked bowl after bowl only stopping to drive half way across Sydney to pick up another batch “oh” and of course for the occasional round of the best sex that you could ever imagine. I will expand a little more on my experience with sex on meth a little later on but at this stage I will inform you non users that sex on meth is by FAR and away the best thing on this planet, hands down no questions asked. Just to put it in to perspective, take the best orgasm you have ever had and times it by 100 and you still don’t even come close to the feeling you get from sex on meth. This in itself is extremely addictive.
After the 3 day binge my mate had to leave my place as she had to attend work the next day that being Monday. The fun was over for now but we had arranged to meet up again the next weekend and do it all over again.
I spent my every spare second that next week researching this wonder drug, reading forums, watching documentaries on You Tube, reading articles and I was terrified at what I discovered but did it stop me from wanted more? Well I guess you know the answer to that. I was in love and of course I could use it in moderation and keep a handle on it, I was no junkie.
One day that week prior to the arranged meet up on the weekend, I called up my same friend to see if she would like to come over and smoke a few bowls but she declined and lectured me on the power of the drug and said that I needed to be careful and that she would not be supplying me with more. I absorbed what she said at the time but it obviously was only temporary. After my friend expressed her concerns on my fiendish behaviour we cancelled our plans that weekend which meant I had to locate a new source and I didn’t have a clue where to start. I went the whole weekend searching high and low but came up empty handed “oh well” maybe the dream was over.
I went and met my brother for beers that Sunday and he was at a local bar with a brand new friend that he had met the week before. That day we proceeded to get extremely drunk and my cravings for meth sky rocketed. My cravings were so high that I was game enough to ask my brother brand new friend if she knew where I could score some. To my absolute astonishment she slipped two small packages under a coaster and slid it across the table to me. *BINGO* it was game time, so I rushed home and that euphoric journey began all over again. Not only was I feeling on top of the world but I had found a new source, things couldn’t have been any better for me at that moment.
I took the next two days off work to recover from my bender and this became a regular occurrence over the next 3 months until I eventually resigned namely due to paranoia that I was doing a terrible job and I would eventually get fired. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I was able to land my current position which is far less responsibility and pays more money “WINNING”. I would like to make special reference to this paragraph because if I wasn’t lucky enough to jag my current role, I would have become unemployed within 3 months of trying meth which is very scary and after of all the research I have done on meth this is a very common theme amongst meth addicts in their first 3-6 months so beware.
My roommates at the time caught on to the fact that I was becoming more and more addicted to what they considered a “Junkie” drug. As the weeks passed one of them approached me and expressed his concerns because he has heard what this drug does to people’s lives. Everything he told me about how I needed to quit right away made complete sense but instead of accepting his valuable advice, I moved out and got my own place so that I didn’t have to answer to anyone about my new found love and addiction. Now I say new addiction but in my mind at this stage of my meth use was there any way possible that I was actually addicted and I was just using for fun and to party, how very wrong I was.
In the past, I have been a binge alcoholic, ecstasy addict, cocaine addict and in stages a daily user of Marijuana. After my first toke of Meth, none of the above meant absolutely anything to me anymore. Apart from the occasional beer and joint (and I do mean occasional) I have not used any of the other party drugs that I have abused in the past and I simple don’t have any desire to use them ever again. Meth on the other hand well “give me, give me, give me” and the fact that now none of these other highly addictive drugs meant a thing to me shows you the amazing power of this drug.
It was now April and my use had increased from once a week for a two day period to twice a week for a 2 day period. I started noticing myself losing weight and my skin was getting pretty bad (not meth sores but acne) and this was very concerning for me as I have always prided myself very highly on my appearance. I even had to take a week off work due to my facial skin appearance for what the doctors diagnosed as a skin virus but I knew all too well that it was largely due to my increased use of meth.
April was also the month that I discovered the combination of porn and meth which is a lethal combination to say the least. I had never really masturbated on meth before April because I had two local girls that I was seeing on a regular basis (but refused to commit to) to satisfy my sexual needs. The first time I sat down to watch some porn on meth I could have sworn I was in front of the computer for less than an hour but when I came to reality I had literally been sitting there in front of my computer for 8 hours without even realising the time was passing me quicker than a speeding bullet. Amazing huh? Well anyway with this new amazing aspect of Meth, I didn’t need my girls any more so I started rejecting their calls and messages and eventually they got the idea which freed me up more time to do meth and watch porn. This may sound crazy to some of you but I think my longest session to date watching porn on meth is about 23 hours non-stop and only those of you who have done meth will know what I am talking about here. To date it is the most euphoric feeling I have felt and I am sure that it cannot be topped. But of course there is a down side to this pleasure and that is that sex without meth has become dull and boring and I have found myself avoiding it all together now unless I am on meth. Looking into my future this is a very concerning but once again it wasn’t a powerful enough motivation to make me quit of even reduce my in-take at this stage.
July is upon me and this drug has a complete hold on me to the point now I am a daily user and I honestly don’t know where the last 6 months of my life has gone and it happen all too fast for me to notice. I can now see the negative effects of meth taking place on my life and knowing full well that it only gets worse from here. My fitness levels have become atrocious, my skin is terrible, I am thinking of getting high 24/7 which is effecting my concentration, I am becoming more forgetful, my speech is becoming scattered and I actually only realised this one today but I haven’t seen my friends and family for literally months.
So I sit here tonight in a moment of self realisation and know that changes need to be made right now before it is too late. I made a stupid decision 6 months ago and now this is something that I will need to deal with for the rest of my life regardless of whether I am successful of remaining sober in the future.
I know my story isn’t as doom and gloom as other hardcore uses and I am proud to say that I still have a beautiful apartment, nice car and a six figure income but who can tell how long that will all last unless I can get a hold of myself.
The craziest thing is that I am not ready to give up. I want to heavily reduce my intake but at this stage I am not ready to part ways with this part of my life.
Wish me luck
I hope this was an enjoyable and informative read.
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