My hero

[OpiodSlave]

Thy kingdom come,
the truth I'll never out run.
And without one more hit...
I'll surely be done. My body
shakes and sweats, pulse increases,
mind can't rest.

"Where are you? Why have you left me?"
I call out too see if maybe my love will
come home too me. It's the fight I
battle everyday, trying too resist
in every which way. Finally it get's
the best of me and I let her in
whole heartily. There she is.
Dark, seductive, and beautiful;
I know with just one hit my hunger
will be full.

I break her off into three lines.
One for me, one for me, and one
more so the truth I can not see.
Goes through the needle, into
the bloodstream, and now...I'm free

My hero. You never let me down.
My love for you will be eternal,
even when I'm in the ground. In fact
when I go, I hope your the only one too show
because your the only one who really knows.
That's why you'll always be my hero.

 

[onthenodintulsa]

so fucking true...

 

[Bob Loblaw]

Very nice and powerful

 

[New]

I like it. It's a good read.

 

[DamagedLemon]

I like it. Only have complains about the way you started a new line before the previous one has ended, for instance :

"Where are you? Why have you left me?"
I call out too see if maybe my love will
come home too me. It's the fight I
battle everyday, trying too resist
in every which way. Finally it get's
the best of me and I let her in
whole heartily. There she is.
Dark, seductive, and beautiful;
I know with just one hit my hunger
will be full.

Could have been better changed to:


"Where are you? Why have you left me?"
I call out to see if maybe my love will come home to me
It's the fight I battle everyday
Trying to resist
In every which way
Finally it gets the best of me and
I let her in
whole heartily
There she is;
Dark, seductive, and beautiful;
I know with just one hit my hunger
will be full.

--

And grammatical mistakes and so on and so forth, but pickiness aside it was a good read and I like how I know what you're referring to without you actually mentioning what you are writing about. Lovely usage of imagery, too. My favourite part is probably this:

I break her off into three lines.
One for me, one for me, and one
more so the truth I can not see.