LogicSoDeveloped
Bluelighter
As a warning now, this will be fairly lengthy.
I am 19 years old now. She is 81 years old and from Japan.
My parents passed when I was young. My grandmother took me in at 8 years old. She ended up trying to make me feel insecure throughout my childhood if I didn't do what she said. She also used fear and manipulation to try to get me what she wanted me to do. This continued until I turned 18.
At 15 years old, she got me on juvenile probation for arguing with her. I didn't hit her, didn't curse at her, or anything like that, I simply argued with her. I stayed on until I was 18 where I would constantly be told I was going to juvie, constantly threatened and forced into submission. Mind you, I never did any drugs until I was 16. I could only go out one night a week and had to be in by 10PM and was told that if I didn't make it on time, the police would be called. She constantly would call me threatening me with the police and stuff like that.
I know it sounds weird but this is all because she was afraid I wouldn't do well in life.
Another effort to control me on her part was not letting me learn to drive or get a permit until I was 2 months from 18 years of age.
She babied me a lot though, when I was younger, she never wanted me making my own decisions and would try to do everything for me.
As soon as I turned 18, I enjoyed freedom sooo much. I got my drivers license, got off probation and turned 18 all at the same time. I'd never been able to drive before, never been able to have a lot of freedom and was always under constant stress from the P.O. Basically, I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
I didn't graduate high school on time but finished in summer school to get my high school diploma. I was arrested the same day I finished summer school.
A few months before I turned 19, I was arrested and charged with intent to resell Marijuana. She kicked me out and I moved 2 hours away with a friend of the family took me in. He's a great guy and I really appreciate him but I miss the city. That's another issue entirely, however.
Even now, because I won't go to the college she thinks I should go to, she tells me to leave. (I am visiting for summer break for a couple weeks.)She never graduated even high school, however and I don't think its fair that she constantly criticizes me about everything including not doing better. She never has anything nice to say to me, its just always critical.
I feel bad because she raised me and did her best but I simply don't think her best was very good for me. I am overcoming feeling that I'm never good enough. Exercise and getting out more is helping.
So yeah, she is sick all the time and quite old and I feel like I owe her something for her raising me and yet, we argue within 5 minutes of coming into contact with one another. She is constantly on the phone so when I want to spend time with her, its like she's busy so by the time she is free, I am out doing something out of boredom, such as visiting old friends.
She is pretty narcissistic as well so I think it offends her that I'm not trying to be up her ass.
Me being 19, I enjoy spending time with old friends, going to concerts, clubbing, and spending time with girls. She expects me to come home (her house, where I lived for most of my life) every night at a decent time even though when I come back to visit, I'd like to make the most of my time and for me, that doesn't include staying home every night, which I do normally during the school year, for the most part.
For me, being out and about really helps with my depression and anxiety. I love being out on the road and meeting new people. I'll admit, this last year, I've spent a bit too much time enjoying myself but it was my freshman year of college after all.
Basically guys, I'm wondering, is it possible for me to get along with her? Or should I keep a respectful distance?
I don't like upsetting her but its like we clash so much, it is impossible to agree on anything or ever get along.
Feel free to ask for any details I left out. I felt like I covered the basics but if there is something you need to know to advise me, please do so.
The last thread I made in SLR turned out to do WONDERS for me and my abilities with the opposite sex. I'm having no trouble talking to girls, dating, and hooking up on occasion hehehe
whereas before the thread, I was pretty much without female contact for about a year, too stuck in my head to do anything.
I am 19 years old now. She is 81 years old and from Japan.
My parents passed when I was young. My grandmother took me in at 8 years old. She ended up trying to make me feel insecure throughout my childhood if I didn't do what she said. She also used fear and manipulation to try to get me what she wanted me to do. This continued until I turned 18.
At 15 years old, she got me on juvenile probation for arguing with her. I didn't hit her, didn't curse at her, or anything like that, I simply argued with her. I stayed on until I was 18 where I would constantly be told I was going to juvie, constantly threatened and forced into submission. Mind you, I never did any drugs until I was 16. I could only go out one night a week and had to be in by 10PM and was told that if I didn't make it on time, the police would be called. She constantly would call me threatening me with the police and stuff like that.
I know it sounds weird but this is all because she was afraid I wouldn't do well in life.
Another effort to control me on her part was not letting me learn to drive or get a permit until I was 2 months from 18 years of age.
She babied me a lot though, when I was younger, she never wanted me making my own decisions and would try to do everything for me.
As soon as I turned 18, I enjoyed freedom sooo much. I got my drivers license, got off probation and turned 18 all at the same time. I'd never been able to drive before, never been able to have a lot of freedom and was always under constant stress from the P.O. Basically, I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
I didn't graduate high school on time but finished in summer school to get my high school diploma. I was arrested the same day I finished summer school.
A few months before I turned 19, I was arrested and charged with intent to resell Marijuana. She kicked me out and I moved 2 hours away with a friend of the family took me in. He's a great guy and I really appreciate him but I miss the city. That's another issue entirely, however.
Even now, because I won't go to the college she thinks I should go to, she tells me to leave. (I am visiting for summer break for a couple weeks.)She never graduated even high school, however and I don't think its fair that she constantly criticizes me about everything including not doing better. She never has anything nice to say to me, its just always critical.
I feel bad because she raised me and did her best but I simply don't think her best was very good for me. I am overcoming feeling that I'm never good enough. Exercise and getting out more is helping.
So yeah, she is sick all the time and quite old and I feel like I owe her something for her raising me and yet, we argue within 5 minutes of coming into contact with one another. She is constantly on the phone so when I want to spend time with her, its like she's busy so by the time she is free, I am out doing something out of boredom, such as visiting old friends.
She is pretty narcissistic as well so I think it offends her that I'm not trying to be up her ass.
Me being 19, I enjoy spending time with old friends, going to concerts, clubbing, and spending time with girls. She expects me to come home (her house, where I lived for most of my life) every night at a decent time even though when I come back to visit, I'd like to make the most of my time and for me, that doesn't include staying home every night, which I do normally during the school year, for the most part.
For me, being out and about really helps with my depression and anxiety. I love being out on the road and meeting new people. I'll admit, this last year, I've spent a bit too much time enjoying myself but it was my freshman year of college after all.
Basically guys, I'm wondering, is it possible for me to get along with her? Or should I keep a respectful distance?
I don't like upsetting her but its like we clash so much, it is impossible to agree on anything or ever get along.
Feel free to ask for any details I left out. I felt like I covered the basics but if there is something you need to know to advise me, please do so.
The last thread I made in SLR turned out to do WONDERS for me and my abilities with the opposite sex. I'm having no trouble talking to girls, dating, and hooking up on occasion hehehe
whereas before the thread, I was pretty much without female contact for about a year, too stuck in my head to do anything.
