My girlfriend wasn't really impressed until the 4th date.

[thegreenhand]

I’m realizing now that my above rant probably makes me look like one of those guys you’re talking about SJB…

At one point in my adolescence I was like that, I’ll admit.

Any rejection led to me saying shit “like all girls are the same”

In this most recent case I was just trying to express my slight disappointment. Not trying to say that this girl owes me anything.

I think the friend zone mindset can be an easy trap that many guys fall into because it’s easier to pin it on the girl rather than taking a hard look in the mirror.

I like to think I aim for the latter these days, but I’m not perfect.

 

[Jabberwocky]

@thegreenhand

Hey, not to butt back in, but it's all good.

It's a valid concept, and so are your feelings.

I just asked my girlfriend about a this, she said it's rare that women unfriendzone people.

So maybe it's actually me who's the misogynistic one?

 

[Shady's Fox]

I’m realizing now that my above rant probably makes me look like one of those guys you’re talking about SJB…

At one point in my adolescence I was like that, I’ll admit.

Any rejection led to me saying shit “like all girls are the same”

In this most recent case I was just trying to express my slight disappointment. Not trying to say that this girl owes me anything.

I think the friend zone mindset can be an easy trap that many guys fall into because it’s easier to pin it on the girl rather than taking a hard look in the mirror.

I like to think I aim for the latter these days, but I’m not perfect.

is straightforward. There's no shortcuts in life but there's shortcuts to be taken throughout life and that's called experience. I randomly thought to make a Tinder account, downloaded a stock photo of a person sitting at a desk learning, bam. "Super Like" so 5 of those get you her/him to answer/send your messages without looking in the haysack, and you got all of those. You search "Partner for party" well here's a marine knot of a 24 somish women, what party more than this you want? and it was sort of to see what's this. Teenagers nowadays belive it or not, go out and take the night life for them clubing is what is needed and if you say no, you're everything they can think of, malls so on. And guess what, nowadays there's only 30% of elders left opposed to 70 of teenagers so those who come at very least to even think about what's friendzone never cross this part of the mountain

 

[Jerry Atrick]

The title of this thread gives me hope. lol

I've been on a hundred (seemingly) first/second dates that never panned out. I just chalked it down to an idiosyncrasy of online dating. But it does get frustrating to continue investing energy into trying to find a LTR when often it seems like they are not giving me enough time to impress them.

I admit due to previous relationships and being hurt in the past, I feel like my shell may be tough to crack. The last time I was able to impress a girl and have her stick around was a couple years ago. The girl is Muslim, which did not bother me in the least except for the fact that she wouldn't have sex with me and attempted to persuade me to marry her to help with her citizenship. The no sex thing didn't even affect me as much as the whole marriage thing. I felt like she was just using me to fast track her becoming a US citizen. That and I would have had to convert to Islam in order to marry her. I told her I was raised Christian and they pretty much ruined me for all religions.

Why can't I just find a secular woman who likes to smoke herb? Is it really that hard?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Why can't I just find a secular woman who likes to smoke herb? Is it really that hard?

That literally could be your intro.

"Have you the open mind to ponder the 'whys' of life? Have you the open mind to give a genuine guy an honest try? Smoke some alaskan thunder fuck with me. Lose your religion in my arms while I save you from yourself."

Seriously like I mentioned earlier I think honesty, consistency and security are huge.

If one makes it past the first date, or gets to hang out outside of work, then you're clearly not a waste of her time.

 

[Keeloverandfly]

I would never stick around more than a date if I wasn’t into someone, and Ive even cut dates short to get away. If I really like someone I go all in right away. But the last few years I prefer meeting people on the internet, because if I like our written rapport I know I’ll like them in person. So the first date isn’t really a traditional first date per se, seeing as we’ve probably already fucked via text or email.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Goes the other way round too. Plenty of girls think you're a wuss or a doormat if you're 'too nice'.

Also I find it infuriating if the person can't seem to make their mind up what the fuck they want from you, and I've had that issue. One second you're getting complaints about not listening to their problems, then when you do you're suddenly not manly enough, and you just become their emotional dumping ground while they go fuck some other bugger.

In my opinion the trouble with a lot of women is that the kind of man they like to have sex with isn't the kind they'd want a long-term relationship with.

As for the 'friend zone' thing you mentioned in your other post, I kinda get you but I also think you're missing the point. It's definitely not a 'chore' to be friends with a woman, I've had some great female friends but the point is I didn't have a thing for any of them in the first place. Being offered 'merely' friendship is a let-down if you have a thing for that person and were hoping for something else. 'Cause let' s face it, if all you want is some company and someone to hang out with, you can do that with your same-sex friends. If you're spending time with a cute member of the opposite sex OF COURSE you fucking wanna get laid in most cases.

I did say "and people in general"

I got friend-zoned by this guy (he's in London but since when has that stopped me?) and it took me over a year to accept it, during which I went through all sorts of stages.

Been emailing now for four years and I'm 99% sure he isn't gay or married, and it definitely isn't a looks thing. He just "doesn't do relationships".

Anyway, I've accepted it now and he's the most awesome friend.. Smart, funny and was *always* there, you know? If I make it over to the UK again I'll definitely pay him a visit. That taught me a lot about friendship (and my ego).

 

[moonyham]

Yeah it's a misogynistic concept, there's nothing more irritating than a man whinging about someone who thinks he's her friend not wanting to sleep with him. Either (a) be straightforward and tell her what you really want, then stop seeing her if she has no interest; or (b) just enjoy the friendship and be a good friend to her even if it's not everything you want. I thought in terms of "friendzones", too, but I realized it was misogynistic and immature by my late teens.

I don't think it's mysoginistic at all. To be friend zoned is to say you were interested in someone(can be a dude too!) and they responded with this interest saying they just want to be friends.

You were hoping to be in the 'romantic zone' but ended up in the friend zone.

I don't think it comes down to being immature. It's literally just a fact of life. You have sexual interest in someone and they just want to be friends.. Friend zone.

 

[AbbeyLee]

I don't think it's mysoginistic at all. To be friend zoned is to say you were interested in someone(can be a dude too!) and they responded with this interest saying they just want to be friends.

You were hoping to be in the 'romantic zone' but ended up in the friend zone.

I don't think it comes down to being immature. It's literally just a fact of life. You have sexual interest in someone and they just want to be friends.. Friend zone.

It's not necessarily misogynistic but tends to happen more to men than women.

It does come down to being immature -- read my post above. Being "friendzoned" was a great lesson and I value friendship so much more now.