Swimmingdancer
Bluelight Crew
You are lucky that she felt comfortable enough to be honest with you about this - getting all pissed off and jealous will just make her wish she didn't tell you and think twice about telling you anything like that in the future. You have a right to feel uncomfortable about this, feelings are feelings, and to express that discomfort in a kind and compassionate way while being open to communication about it, but your girlfriend does not have an obligation to change her lifestyle solely to appease your discomfort. Jealousy and distrust only backfire on you and drive people away from you.
Personally I wouldn't care at all if my partner slept in the same bed with a member of the opposite sex. It's happened in fact. The only thing I would be concerned about here is that she mentioned that she blacked out from drinking too much. For 2 reasons. I think I couldn't help but wonder if it was possible something more happened and she was afraid to tell you BUT I would keep that thought to yourself and try to make her feel comfortable being honest with you (by NOT making assumptions, judgements or getting angry). My other concern would be for her safety if this was truly as you claim a "stranger" and she was so drunk that she was missing part of her memory. But honestly, when I was younger I did this kind of thing and nothing bad ever happened - you pretty much have to trust that your girlfriend is smart enough to make her own judgements about whether someone is safe to bring into her room. Perhaps you could have a conversation with her about it and why she felt it was reasonably safe and just gently express your concern without being like "ZOMG he could've raped you! How could you do this?" etc. Don't treat her like she is an idiot who can't make her own decisions.
As for your reasons for being angry:
1) they slept in the same bed - so what? why does that bother you?
2) they were drunk (at least she was...) - do you not trust her when she is drunk? if so, why not?
3) that guy's brother was hitting on her before - what does that have to do with anything?
4) she didn't know him before that night - well did she get to know him reasonably well over the course of the night? did her friends know him?
5) he's italitan - actually that is offensive and judgmental
One thing that occurs to me is that most of your issues seem to stem from fear that the guy might have wanted to have sex with her. Who cares if he did as long as he didn't try to force himself on her? Do you think women are all just easily seduced and can't be around men who are attracted to them? Or is it just the thought of him being attracted to your girlfriend that bothers you?
I think you need to think about why this bothers you so much and why you feel that reacting with anger is going to help the situation at all or prevent her from doing something you don't like in the future. We do not own our partners.
Personally I wouldn't care at all if my partner slept in the same bed with a member of the opposite sex. It's happened in fact. The only thing I would be concerned about here is that she mentioned that she blacked out from drinking too much. For 2 reasons. I think I couldn't help but wonder if it was possible something more happened and she was afraid to tell you BUT I would keep that thought to yourself and try to make her feel comfortable being honest with you (by NOT making assumptions, judgements or getting angry). My other concern would be for her safety if this was truly as you claim a "stranger" and she was so drunk that she was missing part of her memory. But honestly, when I was younger I did this kind of thing and nothing bad ever happened - you pretty much have to trust that your girlfriend is smart enough to make her own judgements about whether someone is safe to bring into her room. Perhaps you could have a conversation with her about it and why she felt it was reasonably safe and just gently express your concern without being like "ZOMG he could've raped you! How could you do this?" etc. Don't treat her like she is an idiot who can't make her own decisions.
As for your reasons for being angry:
1) they slept in the same bed - so what? why does that bother you?
2) they were drunk (at least she was...) - do you not trust her when she is drunk? if so, why not?
3) that guy's brother was hitting on her before - what does that have to do with anything?
4) she didn't know him before that night - well did she get to know him reasonably well over the course of the night? did her friends know him?
5) he's italitan - actually that is offensive and judgmental
One thing that occurs to me is that most of your issues seem to stem from fear that the guy might have wanted to have sex with her. Who cares if he did as long as he didn't try to force himself on her? Do you think women are all just easily seduced and can't be around men who are attracted to them? Or is it just the thought of him being attracted to your girlfriend that bothers you?
I think you need to think about why this bothers you so much and why you feel that reacting with anger is going to help the situation at all or prevent her from doing something you don't like in the future. We do not own our partners.