my girlfriend confessed me something about her past,something that keeps bugging me.

[inneedforanswers]

hey everybody
I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. I am still a virgin. I have always wanted to hold myself for the love of my life. I have always remained chaste because I want to save myself for the person i love.recently i asked her some questions about how her life was before me...the more i fall in love with her the more i want to know about her,now i cant even picture my life without her,i love her with all my forces and she knows it.everything about her is amazing,like i said just above she told me something about her past which i didnt really like,she said she (SLEPT WITH THREE GUYS AND HAD SEX 17-20 TIMES WITH THEM !) it hurts knowing about her sexual past i feel jealous and sometimes it angers me knowing the stuff she did with them. I feel disgusted sometimes but I'm in love with her and I can't let her go. It just hurts to know she has already givin herself up to someone else.my questions are the following :
1 CAN I SAY SHE HAD TOO MUCH SEX KNOWING THAT SHES DONE IT 17-20 TIMES ?
2 DOES IT MEAN SHE HAS A LOOSEN P*** ?
3 WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO FEEL IT THE SAME WITH ME?
4 WILL SHE COMPARE ME TO THE THREE MEN SHES BEEN WITH?
5 AND LAST HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH
please all answers are welcome, guys help me get over it ,its killing me as im writing this.

 

[treezy z]

first off, if this chasteness is a religious thing cool, if not stop. 99% of girls aren't chaste and don't want a frigid male.

second, 3-5 guys or so is basically 2014s version of a virgin.

also pussies do not loosen up from sex. they return to original size basically.

 

[treezy z]

also if the word "slut" is even crossing your mind your mindset is FUCKED, sorry to say it. maybe see a psychologist about your hang-ups.

 

[BlueSaffron]

1 CAN I SAY SHE HAD TOO MUCH SEX KNOWING THAT SHES DONE IT 17-20 TIMES ?

You are entitled to your opinion, of course. But I'd ask where you get this idea that there is such a thing as "too much" sex. Not everyone decides to remain a virgin until marriage or 'the right one'. It's a personal choice and it doesn't make her less of a person. Do you find sex disgusting? It's an expression of affection and desire between two people. Why would your girlfriend be "disgusting" to you now? That doesn't even make any sense. If you want someone who's a virgin too, then you need to let people know that up front and ASK up front (although be prepared to be told to fuck off if the person finds the question offensive). It's not fair to impose your standards on her. Perhaps she has a healthy view of sexuality. Perhaps each of those three men (by the way, three is not a lot), she had feelings for and wanted to express those feelings. Or maybe she just thought they were hot and liked fucking them. Again: sex is not disgusting, and it does not make a girl disgusting for having sex. If you think that, it's possible you have issues relating to sexuality, and you might want to talk to someone professionally about them.

2 DOES IT MEAN SHE HAS A LOOSEN P*** ?

No. The vagina is a muscle - it can stretch to accomodate a penis (or a baby coming through) and when the item is no longer inside, it will contract. You can have plenty of sex and still be tight.

3 WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO FEEL IT THE SAME WITH ME?

You have a really warped view of sexuality. Why the hell wouldn't she be able to "feel you"? You act like someone drove a Mack truck up in there.

4 WILL SHE COMPARE ME TO THE THREE MEN SHES BEEN WITH?

No one can answer that for you. When I'm with a guy though, I'm usually focused on HIM, not how it felt being with someone else I was with in the past.

5 AND LAST HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH

Again, I would ask yourself why this bothers you so much? SHE DIDN'T KNOW YOU WHEN SHE WAS INVOLVED WITH HER PAST BOYFRIENDS. So why should it affect you at all? You cannot expect everyone to feel the way you do. Many, many people, both men and women, have an active sex life before marriage. You're acting like she cheated on you or something. Did you expect that she just fell out of the heavens some pure innocent virgin? She is a HUMAN BEING. She's had relationships before you. You're going to have to deal with it, or go find yourself a virgin so you won't feel quite so insecure.. although it seems from your post that you have some insecurities, and I think even being with a virgin wouldn't completely quiet your anxieties, which is why I recommended a therapist.

Can you explain why it "hurts so much" that this woman, who is with you so is obviously into YOU, had a life before you met her?

 

[treezy z]

personally i've been with girls that had banged 20 dudes by the age of 16, girls like to fuck, sorry to burst your bubble.

 

[inneedforanswers]

first of all i thank all those who took time to answer my thread especially "BlueSaffron" youre answer helped with how i felt bfore posting the thread, thank you again.
to answers some question you asked above. im not juging my girlfriend over her past,we all have pasts whether they were great or not so great who am to juge people? i can never do that.also the only reason why i feel the way i do is because my stomach is in a huge knot,im not worried nor feel insecure " I JUST LOVE HER" someone told me that its quite normal to feel this way! i dont know maybe hes right maybe not!. the fact that shes not a virgiin doesnt bother in its self,just the "HOW MANY TIMES SHES HAD SEX" ! i dont much like the thought of it but i guess i should have been able to handle the truth. and i know i made too much of it on my own due to overthinking mind i was wrong,unfortunately . me being a virgin doesnt mean im a religeous man or anything else just A CHOICE. AGAIN THANK YOU "BlueSaffron"

 

[Ravin Monkeys]

personally i've been with girls that had banged 20 dudes by the age of 16, girls like to fuck, sorry to burst your bubble.

I've known girls that have had a good 60 lads at 18 and seem quite proud of it. I guess they can just get it whenever they want, Lucky them!

and OP, do your best to try and not think about it and be happy that she does want to be with you and have sex with you! I mean you can always wait until you find a girl who is not a virgin but as time goes by this will get harder and harder so why not take it while you can get it?

All the best.

 

[JWills20]

I think you need to worry more about your own views and misconceptions than your girlfriend's past. Having sex with other guys before you is inevitable. 17-20 times is not a lot of sex at all. I've had sex more than that and I have barely even had sex in my life (one girlfriend and some one night stands). Just because you value your virginity, doesn't mean you have to judge her. You say you're not judging her, but you are. The mere fact it bothers you is a judgement about her.

1 CAN I SAY SHE HAD TOO MUCH SEX KNOWING THAT SHES DONE IT 17-20 TIMES ?
2 DOES IT MEAN SHE HAS A LOOSEN P*** ?
3 WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO FEEL IT THE SAME WITH ME?
4 WILL SHE COMPARE ME TO THE THREE MEN SHES BEEN WITH?
5 AND LAST HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH

This is pure and utter discrimination. Show her the respect and love you feel for her, instead of making stupid and judgemental questions.

 

[inneedforanswers]

I've known girls that have had a good 60 lads at 18 and seem quite proud of it. I guess they can just get it whenever they want, Lucky them!

and OP, do your best to try and not think about it and be happy that she does want to be with you and have sex with you! I mean you can always wait until you find a girl who is not a virgin but as time goes by this will get harder and harder so why not take it while you can get it?

All the best.

im aware this is something most men would do but when you are in love it feels different , my girlfriend is no longer a virgin i can do it something im convinced with, but eh i want it to be love before anything else thx for your answer "Ravin Monkeys "

 

[Nicholai]

Why did you ask such a question in the first place if you are incapable of handling the answer?

She is no kind of a ho, christ, I've had sex more than 20 times in one week! lol

 

[inneedforanswers]

This is pure and utter discrimination. Show her the respect and love you feel for her, instead of making stupid and judgemental questions.[/QUOTE]
i do show her love and respect more than any other man would do be sure i know how to love her, i dont keep it inside of me,i let it out whenver i get the chance. and i dont know what you call jugement !! i only asked for opinions so i can correct my mistakes ,if theres any ofcourse but thank you "JWills20 "

 

[inneedforanswers]

Why did you ask such a question in the first place if you are incapable of handling the answer?

She is no kind of a ho, christ, I've had sex more than 20 times in one week! lol

the answer is written above " i want to know everything about her so i can better serve her your answer helps, thank you

 

[One Thousand Words]

1 CAN I SAY SHE HAD TOO MUCH SEX KNOWING THAT SHES DONE IT 17-20 TIMES ?

Thats about a months worth of fucking in a healthy relationship. Seems fine to me. If you are lucky she might ven be half good at it and teach you a few tricks.


2 DOES IT MEAN SHE HAS A LOOSEN P*** ?
It means she won't be a nervous tight mess the first time you have sex, which is perfect. It doesn't mean her vagina is now a wizards sleeve.

3 WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO FEEL IT THE SAME WITH ME?

Unless you want to split her apart like a packet of potatoe chips why would it be any different with you.
4 WILL SHE COMPARE ME TO THE THREE MEN SHES BEEN WITH?

Of course she will, and being a virgin you will be shit. Practice makes perfect though so I wouldn't hang all your hopes on the first time.
5 AND LAST HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH

Stop acting like a high school kid and get over it. It took me a couple of marriages and a couple of decades of skirt chasing to find the one. My life would be miserable if all I ever chased were innocent virgins.

 

[Ravin Monkeys]

im aware this is something most men would do but when you are in love it feels different , my girlfriend is no longer a virgin i can do it something im convinced with, but eh i want it to be love before anything else thx for your answer "Ravin Monkeys "

I know how you feel mate but don't try to look to much into it, it will only do harm in the long run with the negatives.
and fyi

she will feel it the same with you if she cares/loves you (she might feel it even more with you)
some girls are tighter than others regardless of how many guys they've slept with and tighter does not always mean better, its sometimes painful.
once again she won't judge you if she cares about you (some girls are insecure themselves about performance) if you're doing something wrong they normally put you in the right direction.
Lastly. Just enjoy yourself!

 

[inneedforanswers]

I know how you feel mate but don't try to look to much into it, it will only do harm in the long run with the negatives.
and fyi

she will feel it the same with you if she cares/loves you (she might feel it even more with you)
some girls are tighter than others regardless of how many guys they've slept with and tighter does not always mean better, its sometimes painful.
once again she won't judge you if she cares about you (some girls are insecure themselves about performance) if you're doing something wrong they normally put you in the right direction.
Lastly. Just enjoy yourself!

thank you sir for you appropriate words finally something without jugement,ill try to get it out of the way, yes i can say she loves me,shes nice and caring all i want is her happiness and well being my respects ravin monkeys

 

[Ravin Monkeys]

No problem mate, i hope you and your girlfriend flourish!

 

[angeleyes]

hey everybody
1 CAN I SAY SHE HAD TOO MUCH SEX KNOWING THAT SHES DONE IT 17-20 TIMES ?

No

2 DOES IT MEAN SHE HAS A LOOSEN P*** ?

No

3 WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO FEEL IT THE SAME WITH ME?

Most definitely

4 WILL SHE COMPARE ME TO THE THREE MEN SHES BEEN WITH?

No, she'll appreciate she's getting some for the first time in a year and a half. Seriously.

5 AND LAST HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH

There is definitely some underlying psychological reasons here, your masculinity probably feels threatened because your sexual skills don't match up to hers or her ex-lovers. However this woman has chosen to be with you for the last year and a half without having any sex. This clearly means that she has strong feelings for you and wants to be with you.

Have you spoken with her about sex? Does she feel alright waiting?

second, 3-5 guys or so is basically 2014s version of a virgin.

This is pretty true. However you should be proud of yourself that you have waited this long, may I ask how old you both are?

 

[treezy z]

all i want is her happiness and well being

man i'm ice cold i can't relate to this (not to insult you or anything)

i use to get feelings like this as a kid but now i'm cold-blooded

 

[llama112]

1 CAN I SAY SHE HAD TOO MUCH SEX KNOWING THAT SHES DONE IT 17-20 TIMES ?
No, you can't.

2 DOES IT MEAN SHE HAS A LOOSEN P*** ?
No, it doesn't.

3 WILL SHE EVER BE ABLE TO FEEL IT THE SAME WITH ME?
Yes

4 WILL SHE COMPARE ME TO THE THREE MEN SHES BEEN WITH?
No

5 AND LAST HOW SHOULD I FEEL ABOUT IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH
It shouldn't hurt. She's her own person and she makes her own decision.

 

[inneedforanswers]

No



No



Most definitely



No, she'll appreciate she's getting some for the first time in a year and a half. Seriously.



There is definitely some underlying psychological reasons here, your masculinity probably feels threatened because your sexual skills don't match up to hers or her ex-lovers. However this woman has chosen to be with you for the last year and a half without having any sex. This clearly means that she has strong feelings for you and wants to be with you.

Have you spoken with her about sex? Does she feel alright waiting?






This is pretty true. However you should be proud of yourself that you have waited this long, may I ask how old you both are?

yes i have spoken with her about sex she said shes fine with it and im going to be greater than them because of how she feels for me
i turn 25 in june and shes 23