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my college situation

Mystery Brew

Mystery Brew

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 16, 2008
Messages
1,152
I know how everyone says college is almost a must, and I will regret not going..yada yada yada..

I did great first semester but this 2nd semester is kicking my ass I feel like I am in a runt here, I just dont feel the drive I should I guess. Well I didnt really want to go to college from the start, just more of a parental push. Im on the verge of just dropping all this bullshit, because it feels like theres so much load on my sholder. Its sucks because I am the first child, so my parents is expecting so much, I just dont want the pressure its fucking with me. I just dont want to let them down again, because I destroyed them in everyway when I was a adict. Im am stuck between two sides

Can anyone give me some advice to build up my drive? or any personal experience?
 
Well I suppose I would try to figure out and isolate what is giving you so much trouble and work from there. You can always try to get some classes changed around if its specific classes or subjects that are making it difficult. Pursue some form of study group possibly. I'm a type B personality though so even when the load gets heavy with academics I never stress it much. I just try to approach it from different angles and see what works best
 
I failed my 3rd semester and still managed to graduate.

I would say if u don't have the drive to go, study and do well I would try to take a semester off and work. See how shitty jobs w/o a professional degree are and that might give u more of a drive. Seriously, w/o getting at least a Master's/Doctorate in something useful I think u are likely to not like your job later on and u'll get paid shit. Not everyone of course, my experience.

So the only reason u go to college is for your parents?

U don't enjoy studying? BS/BA degree is usually just the beginning if u want a good job later so pick something u like and u are good at so u can get good grades.

What is your plan if u drop out? Is there a job u want to do for the rest of your life that requires no college? Your folks aren't gonna support you forever. Life's tough. It's hard to make ends meet when u are working a shitty job and from what I read 9/10 well paying jobs require a college degree and I would think something higher than a BA/BS.
 
College isn't for everybody. There's no shame in not going or dropping out (as long as it's for the right reasons). My cousin doesn't go. He's not the academic type (would rather work w/ his hands) and is currently being trained to operate heavy machinery. I believe he's doing some type of 2-year program.

Why go through college if it's only going to make you miserable? We all go through tough phases.. it's part of college. The workload is only going to get heavier from here on out. Managing your time, going to extra help sessions, office hours, the writing center, reviewing notes after class, etc will help.

Forbes did an article a while back on 6 figure jobs that don't require a college degree. A degree isn't required to be successful, but it sure does help, and studies have shown that people w/ degrees make more yearly than those without. Still, your future isn't set it stone based on whether you get a degree or not.

But in, or out, of college, it comes back to your drive to succeed. Shit's just not going to be handed to you on a silver platter.

It's got to come from within though. Not your parents. Not anyone on BL. They can't make you get through it all. It's up to you, and only you.

Perhaps copious amounts of coffee and nicotine will help? %)
 
Is your problem going to class or doing your work (or both)?

The things I use to motivate myself are.....
: biggest one right now is that I paid for my classes.... I read somewhere that at a private university, if you're paying full, it's on average $150-200 per class session. So now when I want to miss class, I think about that, and it gets my ass out of bed. Another thing that helps me is trying to take smaller classes, not really because I enjoy the discussion but just because they take attendence and if you don't turn in your work everyone knows and it's embarassing. Not letting myself get into a pattern of missing/not doing my work is the most important for me though, because it causes you to form the cycle that is hard to break. You miss so much that it just sort of builds up and feels overwhelming and when you go it's bad because you don't understand what's going on and everyone is looking at you like what the hell are you doing here...

You just sort of have to keep finding your own personal motivation strategies which is just a try-and-succed try-and-fail thing.

Besides that, just get involved and pick classes you're passionate about, are you still on your GE's or have you moved onto your major? Some semesters will be better and some will be worse in that aspect, it's just part of what you have to do. Study groups are good, making friends in your classes is also good because you'll have someone pushing you and it'll be more fun to go/do your work. Going to your prof's office hours to talk about the material also helps, and just working to do well will make you feel better about yourself and enjoy your classes more.

Those are my suggestions/things that work for me, hope it helps somewhat. I am/was like you, went to college because my parents said it was a must and wanted me to be the first to graduate (have a brother but he fucked up. :)) It sucks. I hate my school/classes and pretty much everything about it besides the location, but the above keep me getting Bs/As and going to about 70% of my classes.

As for your parents, are you still living at home or away? Succeed, in the entirety of the word—not just getting perfect grades and whatnot. They just want you to be happy, enjoy you college experience, stay off drugs, and have good friends. Plus, they’ll most likely be proud of whatever you do, unless you relapse and start doing drugs. So tune them out, and just try and enjoy it. :)
 
^ agreed. Often times I'll take a semester of harder classes that I'm not particularly interested but are required for me to take, and then the next semester I'll take one full of required classes that I WANT to take. I try my best to even out my semesters, but sometimes it's just not possible to do that with classes being offered at the same time, too far apart during the day, etc.
 
I find my biology/chemistry classes, when I went back, were a hell of a lot harder because I really needed to study. I had a rude awakening going from never touching a book in c++ classes to dropping gen chem the first time because I didn't think I needed to study that much. You need to want it to happen, and it takes work.

Nothing worth while is easy. You can either dig ditches and waitress tables for the rest of your life, or you can put yourself ahead of the next guy. Your choice. The world needs both professions.
 
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