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H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist
Recovery My cliché recovery journal
- Thread starter Rio Fantastic
- Start date
What the fuck rio this a fucking long mission you on is this it this all you want to be in life all that knowledge all the love you show all down the drain for some fucking brown . You been given a chance of life by some force whatever it is and you wasting that chance to sit around with some other junkies or on your own do some gear and fucking nod what a shit way to live you hate it i bet it makes you want to cry how you living your life so why do it why you not detox go through the hell of paws why you scared of si shitty months that fuck all bruv . Wake the fuck up bruv ill help i don't give a fuck about the money if i can help someone who help me my loyalty to mates is known by all my pals and you are a mate no fucking excuses now bruv not got money for rehab ill fucking pay not got a place to stay ill pay the deposit gets you in a place not got job ill get one of my pals to give you one won't be a job where you can climb the corporate ladder but one that pays the bills while you get a job you would like
Chin up what the situation with rehabs around where rio lives can he get a state funded one if not what the ones that charge are places open there listen mate my health is shit i dont want to go and not help a mate i should be ok but who knows maybe i fucked
Buisness has been good over lock down moved from functions to delivery and what a goldmine it is and all weddings backlog we looking at fully booked out with triples for a couple of years . So rio i can get you on your feet wont hand you a bundle of cash because you an addict maybe set up direct debit payments for rent and money to your mom for shopping and clothes . Ill support you for as long as it takes will want drug tests if i can do one thing for a mate one thing not for family i need to do this aswell bro ive neglected lots of shit this a chance for you my brother do this give me one clean year and ill have you come to california as a treat bruv dont blow this chance
Bruv this life of drug use end sat where i am 45 out of breathe weak cunt would not even be able to throw a few punches without having to catch my breathe a wife that crys when im not about because she so scared im going to die . A wife that still looks so good she gets looks and i thrown it all away for some fucking pregabs dont be me dont let this be your future i thought nothing can happen to me now look im getting better i can feel it but i have some days where my leg hurts shortness of breathe and knee joint killing me i was a strong fucker healthy could do long time on bag and now im a fucking wreck this how it ends arm falls asleep pins and needles if i had carried on renel faliure was there . My brother wake up this not how we should be you have a brain. Life is having health waking up to a women who loves you kids being happy with life not gear the happiness gear brings you is not real it fake and pain it brings to you and your loved ones is real happiness has to come from your life itself not some chemicals you will never be content with artifical happiness happiness comes. from your life itself not what you smoke or inject
Come stay down south when rehab finished work for me and my cousin. I'll give you a good position not a shitty job maybe organise the staff and kitchens also some of our staff the waitresses are fucking hot if you on site. I was banned going on site because I would sniff coke with some waitress and neglect the function
Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
Hey @yubacity how are you? Thanks for all your messages. I am actually doing well now. From January until mid April I went on a crazy bender - ended up basically living with my 'friend' shoplifting and using everyday. I turned up on the doorstep of my real friend 33 days ago begging for a place to stay and get clean and he took me in, thank God. Havent touched a drug for 33 days except my 2mg subutex. Ive started work at the cinema again and am taking as many shifts as possible.
I did contact a couple of rehabs but as I expected there are no charitable beds available at the moment. I have my place at Leicster Uni tho in September and I won't defer again no matter what. My plan is to have 5 months under my belt by then, be really vigilant about staying clean til then, then go to a new area with something totally new to focus on.
I am really sorry for disappearing guys. I didnt mean to worry you, and its really shocked and dismayed me to find out about CH. I dont want to go the same way. Let me know how you guys are doing.
I did contact a couple of rehabs but as I expected there are no charitable beds available at the moment. I have my place at Leicster Uni tho in September and I won't defer again no matter what. My plan is to have 5 months under my belt by then, be really vigilant about staying clean til then, then go to a new area with something totally new to focus on.
I am really sorry for disappearing guys. I didnt mean to worry you, and its really shocked and dismayed me to find out about CH. I dont want to go the same way. Let me know how you guys are doing.
Nurse Ratched
Bluelight Crew
Welcome back and glad to hear about the 33 days. I know chinup and yuba are going to be really glad to see you back.
Keep on keepin' on man.
Keep on keepin' on man.
Rio Fantastic
Bluelighter
Welcome back and glad to hear about the 33 days. I know chinup and yuba are going to be really glad to see you back.
Keep on keepin' on man.
Thanks! Have I spoke to you before?? Don't recognise your username but I haven't been on for a while.
I just wanted to say thanks to @chinup - we PMed briefly while I was at my friends house and I just want you to know that logging onto Bluelight and seeing your PMs really boosted my spirits. You chasing me to see I was OK was really nice and you should know how much it meant to me. And to @yubacity - coming back to my thread and finding so many heartfelt messages from you even though I have been away so long has really cheered me up - its just great to be reminded that someone gives a fuck!!
I am really sorry I vanished like that and from now on it won't happen again - I am doing everything in my power to make sure this time is different, but even if I fuck up and lapse I am going to check in now and then just to let you guys know I'm alive.
Nurse Ratched
Bluelight Crew
No you haven't talked to me before. Just made an account a couple months ago and it was actually after I was bored one morning and read this whole thread.
I saw how much you were struggling and just wanted to offer some encouragement. But you were absent from then on so I could never say Hi.
So Hi there and I'm just an old lady that really doesn't have much experience with hard drugs so I just offer some support where I can.
Super glad that you are back with us and healing.
I saw how much you were struggling and just wanted to offer some encouragement. But you were absent from then on so I could never say Hi.
So Hi there and I'm just an old lady that really doesn't have much experience with hard drugs so I just offer some support where I can.
Super glad that you are back with us and healing.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
rrrriiiioooooooo!!! so glad you're back. please stay with us. and you are welcome, i'll always be here to give you encouragement.
still see about rehab though, honestly i think it would help you a lot.
still see about rehab though, honestly i think it would help you a lot.
Dundermifflin8699
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 13, 2021
- Messages
- 84
Good thread..
Coming off 10 years norc/tramadol..
1 week off, no sleep for 7 days
Better a bit..
Hitting PAWS now..fubar
the tramadol refill calling me..
Best to all...
Ive been in aa 35 years and am VA pain patient....
Need a fkn reboot
"..the problem centers in the mind"
Coming off 10 years norc/tramadol..
1 week off, no sleep for 7 days
Better a bit..
Hitting PAWS now..fubar
the tramadol refill calling me..
Best to all...
Ive been in aa 35 years and am VA pain patient....
Need a fkn reboot
"..the problem centers in the mind"
Keep busy bruv when we not doing anything boredom kicks in which always lead to thoughts of using and boredom
If you need anything the offer is there . Stay on the subs get stabilised before you even think of tapering of them or just maintain on them . I been sick in bed all day bad chest infection cheered me up hearing from you. I clicked on the notifications saying please be too please be too and your name popped up cheered me right up bruv people do give a shit you not alone if you in a bad place again get in touch here
Getting away to a new area is the best strategy bruv and I can help you set up . You either have to cut off all your drug pals or move
No sleep is the fucker because physically and mentally you are shattered but still the sleep dont come . I does get better my brother just take time but be patient and congrats on the 7 days clean think ahead in months really because it takes time to get there nothing will change much in days. But you clean and 10 years in addiction you are finally clean and that is an acheivment in itself be patient and think of the positives because being clean is one fucking massive positive and a few months to get back to normal sleep patters is fuck all in the bigger picture . PAWS is the thing i struggled with most and what kept me going back just keep reminding yourself this part of the healing and it will end . I found exercise was a great way to fight it no matter how fatigued and depressed you are just do any exercise you can even if it just a walk
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
rio! where are you? please come and check in on us? every day! i get worried.
really hope you're well and haven't relapsed.
really hope you're well and haven't relapsed.
Rio bruv like chinup said where are you. Seriously hope you just busy but i thinking you back on the gear hope im fucking wrong and you be right to call me a cunt if i wrong
I think you have to get away from Birmingham and your pals they seem to pull you back into the shit again. Most of them are cunts who don't give two shits about you. Get away from them my brother get away from your town that will help you big time. Today me and my wife went to the shard and had a meal that is life bruv not getting fucked on gear. To have a chat with a woman you love a good meal a nice walk holding the hand of your loved one thats life bruv not gear 13 fucking years I wasted on brown could of been having so many different moments like I had today If you have relapsed so what stop and get back on track.
I think you have to get away from Birmingham and your pals they seem to pull you back into the shit again. Most of them are cunts who don't give two shits about you. Get away from them my brother get away from your town that will help you big time. Today me and my wife went to the shard and had a meal that is life bruv not getting fucked on gear. To have a chat with a woman you love a good meal a nice walk holding the hand of your loved one thats life bruv not gear 13 fucking years I wasted on brown could of been having so many different moments like I had today If you have relapsed so what stop and get back on track.