Almost_Famous
Greenlighter
Hello Bluelighters, although this is my first post I am no stranger to these forums. First and foremost I am thankful to have learned so much from this website over the last few years. I have been trying to quit opiates for about one year straight now and am failing miserably. At least I've managed to keep my tolerance somewhat low from being sick and unable to hold a job for so long "I'm just 21". I've tried just about everything to quit. The longest I've gone sober in the last three years was 9 days.....twice! I don't wanna do the Sub/Methadone route and vowed a few weeks ago to NEVER take Methadone again. The half life and withdrawals are redic. My addiction is a roller coaster ride. I am in withdrawal any given time at least a couple days a week. Between the guilt,debt,emotional and physical distress I am losing it. My brain chemistry is horrible. As I type this my body is actually "shutting down?" from heavy opiate use the past few weeks. I've been having chest pain and HORRIBLE appendix pain that comes and goes. My skin has a weird tint and I've been having a fever that comes and goes even while I'm high. All the detox centers around where I live have closed down and every time I get ahold of a rehab I just end up losing my perseverance before we can set something up. I don't and I'm NOT going to be a LIFER. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that I know I will be sober, happy, and comfortable with myself and actually be able to do nice things with money soon. I want to be able hold a job,go to college, hang out with people that aren't total dipshits and be anxiety free. I'm sure lots of you reading this have been through the same thing and are now successful. I just want to ask what did it take you to get over this?! I'm coming to the conclusion the only way I can quit would be to move somewhere else and not tell anyone where I'm going which would only work temp. Please any tips and stories would be greatly appreciated.

