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My best freind. Should she stay or go?

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tennant90

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 8, 2014
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103
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neither here or over there
Hi, I will try and explain this as easy as I can.
I'm going through a difficult dilemma at the moment regarding a friend who I am in love with. She is named Megan and we met over a year ago. I pretty much fell in love with her straight away.
Here is my problem. I seem to keep falling in love with her. I told her this yesterday to which she responded In a way that justified our actions as unique to only us.that we do have a very close relationship with each other regarding the things we do ( you know, those silly things you do with each that makes you both laugh uncontrolably).
Now, what makes this bittersweet is the fact that I try and tame my feelings and keep it as freinds then over time I start falling in love again, I tell her, and then nothing. It's a vicious cycle. So I'm starting to think what to do. Do I speak to her about this as I am on this thread and just explain to her that my feelings are too strong to just carry on as freinds? I don't think I can go through this anymore times because it breaks my heart. If I do end up making the desicion to not have her around I loose a Fucking good freindship and an awesome person in my life. This is all so I don't have to feel this anymore. I'm absolutely torn by this and really don't know an alternative than to just talk to her about this decision I want to make. Maybe if she knew the truth she could have a way to make it easier for me?

What do you guys think I should do?
Thanks.
 
Sounds like she needs to go mate alrite. Have some self esteem. You don't need her. Turn your back, be the bigger man.
 
When you say "maybe if I told her the truth" what do you mean? You told her yesterday that you were falling in love right? So if she still wants to only be friends maybe you should move on. I know it's hard but there's no use waiting for her to decide she wants you for a boyfriend. I think that's what you've been doing and she should know this. In case you havn't made it clear, remind her.
 
tennant90 said:
Hi, I will try and explain this as easy as I can.
I'm going through a difficult dilemma at the moment regarding a friend who I am in love with. She is named Megan and we met over a year ago. I pretty much fell in love with her straight away.
Here is my problem. I seem to keep falling in love with her. I told her this yesterday to which she responded In a way that justified our actions as unique to only us.that we do have a very close relationship with each other regarding the things we do ( you know, those silly things you do with each that makes you both laugh uncontrolably).
Now, what makes this bittersweet is the fact that I try and tame my feelings and keep it as freinds then over time I start falling in love again, I tell her, and then nothing. It's a vicious cycle. So I'm starting to think what to do. Do I speak to her about this as I am on this thread and just explain to her that my feelings are too strong to just carry on as freinds? I don't think I can go through this anymore times because it breaks my heart. If I do end up making the desicion to not have her around I loose a Fucking good freindship and an awesome person in my life. This is all so I don't have to feel this anymore. I'm absolutely torn by this and really don't know an alternative than to just talk to her about this decision I want to make. Maybe if she knew the truth she could have a way to make it easier for me?

What do you guys think I should do?
Thanks.
Click to expand...

I was in your situation and it left me very heart broken as my perception on things played tricks on me. My situation was a bit worse, I hanged around for years always with the same consequences. Unfortunately once you get very close as friends with someone you are usually perceiving each other as brother and sister and not as partners...Every so often something comes up that might give you hope of things changing such as getting messed up on drugs or getting drunk and it just being you two and then for whatever known reason nothing eventuates because the other person doesn't want to ruin what they have.

In my opinion and to not get yourself hurt and feel like you are getting stabbed all the time when she hooks up with a new guy, is to just move on.....If she can't say yes now - what are you going to do? Wait for her to fuck another 20 guys and be the guy she always cries to? Then you hoping you might be lucky guy 21?

Just appreciate the good times you had and move onto the next adventure in life. At the same time you might realise that you love someone even more if you look else where who is 100 times better for you.
 
Yeah so I spoke to her last night. I told her that I think its best I finally hit the nail on the head and move on. I told her I'm going to need distance as I can't keep putting myself through it anymore. She hasn't had much to say apart from she's gutted about loosing me. I feel a bit sad but hopefully I can now hit the reset button and learn from this. Try not to fall into the same trap again. I hope one day I can revert to becoming freinds and keeping it that way.
I feel better doing it but shit happens. Got my exams this week so atleast I have something to focus on.
I guess its time to start looking again. Hopefully the next time I love it'll be returned :)
 
That's it mate. She's nothing but trouble and prick teasing. You had a good reason for doing it. Fuck her. Life's too short to waste like that.
 
I think you've done the right thing because you sound young and unsure. Just by saying you 'seem' to be falling in love shows that you're not even sure that you're in love. I don't mean that in a bad way. It sounded like a good friendship, not that she was 'prick teasing' but that what you had meant enough for her not to ruin it on a whim. Time apart might enable you to get that friendship back without all the mixed feelings, which would definitely not be a waste of time. I lost one of the dearest people in my life because I confused an amazing friendship for being in love. Our friendship was the kind where you want to spend every waking moment with them, feel completely yourself around them and as long as we had each other, things were going to be okay. After it all we knew it wasn't meant to be anything else but the damage was already done and there was no going back. I would give anything to be able to have my friend back.

All I'm saying is that maybe you two aren't meant to be, maybe you are. Just don't be so hasty to, as you put it, loose a f'ing good friendship and an awesome person in your life.
 
i'm speaking from experience.

when you fall for friend you need time to get over them, away from them. you can be friends after BUT only in small doses. its the closeness that is screwing you over.

its very different however if they are flirting with you and touching you etc. then its much harder to deal with being friends. i have a similar current problem (instant heart sonic boom) but as i have previous experience i'm sort of dealing with it better but its frustrating and mine is massively heightened by proximity
 
You need time to get over her. It will mean spending less time with her right now. You can eventually go back to being friends but I'd recommend seeing as little of her as possible right now.
 
Yeah, Megan (the girl) isn't a very touchy feely person and she's not an open flirt. She's actually one of the most respectable people I've ever met. So I know it'll be safe when things settle.
Only time can take its course now and that's it. Hardest part is done. Just gotta ride it through.
I start my physics and maths course in September at college so I'm sure there will be plenty of interesting people (preferably women) to meet.
Thanks for the good words though. You've made me feel more assured through all this and made it easier.
 
it sounds like she's not leading you on, she's probably just super hot in many ways/lots of charisma.

fresh college women will definitely help:)
 
I don't think she liked you in that way... The reason why she never said anything was because she felt awkward probably... She also probably didn't say anything is because you guys were good friends and the fact that she can feel comfortable joking around with you and you wouldnt have wanted something from her in return.... She didn't see you as a guy that only thought about tapping that ass basically... (Her ass).and probably your the only one where she can talk to you about anything and you wouldn't judge her....
 
You should let her go man, fuck that shit. That's just an overall uncomfortable situation, one that I think would be best if the relationship no longer existed. Just my opinion
 
Well its done now. Can I go back and revert? Only time will tell. It's a simple act of meeting someone else and it'll be fine after that. The distance has helped a lot though at the minute. I've been able to focus on a lot recently.
Tbh, its all a risk. I liked her, my feelings grew so I did the noble thing and told her even when deep down I knew she didn't feel the same but just to let go of the burden is sometimes better.
This has obviously changed it course and direction. Such is life.
 
Well, its been a few weeks. I do feel a lot better. No more tugging left right and centre on the old heart strings.
Building my sex appeal back to get ready for what's to come. I dont know what that will be. All I know is that it will cost a few quid more for a haircut...
 
I had a crush on a good friend once...hell maybe twice lol. I always figured some thoughts are just better left unsung...because even if you know that person really well, generally it's a crapshoot how they will react to such a situation.

9 times outta 10, situations like this won't work. Maybe 9.5/10 idk exactly, but hardly ever.
The only advice I can give is to put some distance in between you, do your own thing for a while and let her do hers. Maybe hang out with ya peeps that don't fux with her, or get a hobby, or have lots of anonymous (safe!) sex..maybe indulge your drug habit(s) for a nice relaxing vacation..find a new t.v series and/or feverishly masturbate while picturing your lover lol jk.
I guess it's kinda like a break up, your just gonna have a crappy friendshit for a little while..lol. Friendshits, can't live with em...

In the end I guess you'll find out if ya'll are really true friends and all that sappy Disney shit ha..

Anywho, good luck, don't get down..i mean unless she says "will ya go down on me" in which case I guess leaves a happy ending...but just to be clear that's not gonna happen so move on u can do it!
BTW I had a crush on a girl named Megan once...not a dime, but she was in my eyes..total bitch tho lol jk..
 
Yeah man, it is like a break up, strange how things go isn't it?
Maybe it's just people named Megan we need to stay away from? Has to be where the a part of the cosmos is flawed.

I got tonnes of hobbies but I really would love to get high on MD, feel some love in a different dimension and hopefully itll reset it for a while.

I don't get how I/we get so strung up over people. I was speaking to a mate about it. Sometimes when you obsess over someone, come away from it and go back its like your brain associates them with those feelings everytime. I'm starting to think I could never go back as the brain has means to hold on.

Still, when i met her I never felt so good in my life. I lived within bliss for a while. Honestly, she's like a Fucking drug. It also gets on my nerves that she is still oblivious to this even though I've told her. Bitches be trippin.
 
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