Now that we are normalizing drug use, I’ve decided to apply to be drug czar. Here’s my application letter.
Dear Mr. President,
I couldn’t help but notice that your new drug czar, just like the previous one and all the others, opposes decriminalizing drug use. I also noted that Mr. Botticelli has been in recovery for 25 years, which means for him abstinence.
Here’s my problem with that: Why have as the head of the Office of National Drug Control Policy someone who doesn’t take drugs or drink because he doesn’t believe he is able to control his substance use? You don’t pick as the head of the FDA someone who won’t take a prescription, or as head of the FBI someone who won’t fire a gun, do you? And you wouldn’t put a celibate in charge of sex and procreation. (My apologies to Roman Catholics.)
Here’s my logic, Mr. President: Why not pick someone who has demonstrated the ability—whether throughout their life, or as developed at a later age—to enjoy alcohol and other drugs without causing problems for themselves and others? In fact, I recollect from your memoir that you are such a person; you know more about controlling drug use than your own drug czar!
