My 17 year old daughter is pregnant.....wtf?

[Shady Kaity]

My friend was on the depo shot for years. Her weight sky rocketed and she began having constant migraines, which can be some what of a common occurrence. Even though she's been off it for awhile now, she continues to have these headaches...
Personally, I just don't like the thought of getting a shot in my ass lol
Since I've had my son and qualify for mirena, I'm opting to hopefully get that. Lasts five years, I don't have to remember to take it either, and it's hormone free

 

[Missykins]

Intrauterine devices are not indicated for teenagers.

 

[Foreigner]

I don't see why her life is over... abortion is always an option.

 

[stellablue]

Stella, my heart is with you and your family. I trust you will guide your daughter into making the decision that is best. This has to be doing quite the number on you, so please also take care of yourself.

The Depo-Provera shot, in addition to undermine your fertile daughter's self-respect, has potentially very bad side effects. The Pill and the IUD have a better overall track record. I have an IUD because artificial hormones affect my mood adversely. Whether or not your daughter carries this pregnancy to term, she'll need birth control after.

I can also thank rocketqueen for a well-thought-out post in that I know I could financially support a child, but I could not give emotional support in the way a child needs. That's why I haven't had any children. I thought ahead. I love my (10 and 8 year old) best friends, who are the sons of my former partner and his ex-wife. We stayed friends for the kids for all of the right reasons.

Who is the sperm donor? Is your daughter in a serious relationship with him? Is he financially stable? These are very valid questions that you as the mother of a minor must ask.

^Thank you for your reply. The father of her baby is her boyfriend Caleb. He is 16. He is starting military school in the morning. So no, he is not financially stable, not yet. I am so worried about Morgan, she is 17 weeks pregnant now. So she had to have been already pregnant the last time I tried to get her on birth control. With all of this, I am trying to just be supportive. I am just worried about her being so young, and I want to help her.
The father of her child is going to be gone until the 1st of December. Her baby is due December 21st. I am glad he is getting his life right, and I just want him to do right by her. He wants to marry her, but I am just terrifed. I don't want her to do this but my hands are tied. I have to help her and try and be supportive but I am so not sure whats right tbh. I just want my daughter to have more.

 

[stardust.hero]

Stella, thanks for the update. Sending all my love your way. I know it's got to be a very stressful and unsure time for you right now.

 

[stellablue]

^ Thanks Stardust.

 

[Hazey420]

Stella, I was that 17 year old girl, that got pregnant, as I am older now I read your story and its sounds just like what my mother felt, she had no clue what to do, and I knew i was going to keep it, I saw this abortion video at the clinic, and it scared the shit out of me, so that was not an option, so my mother and my grandmother raised him, his real dad died when he was 3 and i was 19, so I know that hurt, that pain, but I grew up overnight, I had to and I want to say I NEVER said I was sorry for having my son, never in his 24 years now, that has never come out of my mouth because I wasn't sorry for having him, You learn as you go that is what i did, and I made sure that the same thing never happened to him , he is a good kid, no kids, no girlfriend as of now. So that breaking the cycle thing that we hear over and over, I did it and I cant be more proud, its been a long hard road but I never walked away from him. So stella make sure what your daughter thinks and how she feels about it, but i need to say I could NEVER have done it without my mother, my grandmother has passed almost killed mom, she is in stage 3 kidney disease now so I take care of her just like she did me all we have is family..Be sure to remember that.

 

[stellablue]

^ Thank you Hazey. My daughter has an appointment on thursday, and we are having another ultra sound. The first ultra sound was on her 19th week. I am almost certain that she will have another one this week. Maybe we will find out the sex. Her doctor said she is high risk because she has underactive thyroid disease. So she is prone to gain weight a lot easier then other people. So she is very high risk, and it really scares me. Especially since she has really gained weight pretty quickly. I worry about her saftey. All I want, is to see her and her baby healthy.
I have come to terms with the fact that we have a baby on the way. I have never been a person to condone abortion but I do not judge either. I would support whatever decision whether it be keep the baby or not. She wants to keep it, and I have come to terms with raising the baby with her, and give her the support she needs to be a young mother. She has me and her grandmother. (I to would be devistated if anything happened to my mother as your mom was.) I am more closer to my step dad though. My mom and I clash at times, and he understands me more. He has been the closest thing I ever had as a father since my real dad pasted when I was a teenager. I think it is more important that the man get credit for being a dad when he assumes the role even if he isn't by blood. My real dad gave up that right when he took his own him in 1990.
The O.B. doctor thinks my daughter's baby is a boy, but we will know for sure on thursday I am thinking. Although you can never know for sure if the baby will spread their legs as the ultra sound is done. I will update after our appointment on thursday morning. Thank you for replying. I am so scattered with worry and concern. It was comforting to hear your success story for sure.

 

[Kerrigan]

I wouldn't worry: whatever the sex, that kid's mother is the sort of mother who'll raise the kid well. I can remember when she was asking me if I loved her "Mommy", and now she's having a baby? Goodness. Yes, she has gained weight, but I doubt there's any reason to be concerned; if you worry, it isn't going to change anything and there is no way to change anything.

As far as the kid's father is concerned, if there's anything about him that I could state to a certainty, it's that he's a typical man; the sort I wouldn't mind sharing a beer and a shot with, or whatever you guys drink o'er there.

If the baby's even half as good-looking as her mother, or especially her grandmother (that word doesn't suit you, Stella) then I'm sure that the young'n will be perfectly fine, and I wish great luck to all of you. But lately you've been entirely out of luck. It's not too late to ask for help, my Venus in Furs...

 

[herbavore]

Stella, it is good to hear that you are accepting what is happening. It was a shock at first and not what you envisioned for her but it sounds like you both are excited at this point and that is good. I'm sure that with prenatal care everything will go well. Hopefully your daughter is trying to eat well, take vitamins, etc. as well as exercise. Exercising during pregnancy is so good for mother and baby (endorphins!)

I just got back from a trip back east where I stayed with my former boyfriend, his wife and his 16 year old son. His son is an only child and somewhat less street-wise than we were at his age but still, it was incredible to reflect back that we were his age when I got pregnant and we ran away together. he seemed such a child! My pregnancy did end in abortion and I will always know, as hard as that decision was for us at the time (and even through the ensuing years) that it was the best decision considering all the drugs we took. You have trusted your daughter to make the right decision for her life and that took great courage on your part. Together you will make a good life for this new person. You are a wonderful mother and have given your daughter a good role model. You will be a fantastic Grandma even if it is coming a few years before you were ready for that role.

I look forward with joy to helping you welcome this new life as well as offering myself to hear the harder aspects of what it will entail. This life is messy and complicated and wonderful and trusting just that is sometimes all we have to do.