Baker
Bluelighter
The set: I had, had my mushrooms sitting around for a while in my house waiting for an appropriate time to take a dose, I had already experienced a low 2g dose with my partner and experienced some mind blowing connection, love, empathy and of course sex and since had been waiting for my tolerance to drop back down and try a more intense heroic dose. I have previously tried a maximum of 9g tampensis, however these were cubensis, and noticeably more potent. I usually find many similarities between mushrooms and MDMA, a lot more so then LSD and they often leave me with the same afterglow, same euphoria and same sociability + psychedelic soup of confusion, as I like to refer to as “mushed”.
Psychologically I was at some crossroads, was mid semester of my neuroscience/psychology degree and had just failed psychology by 4 marks, (been a little too distracted that semester). So I was deciding what to do with my life, and wondering if I’m in the right course. If I want to take up a career in dancing, pursue my passion for writing, or put more time into the production of music. I was unemployed at the time and hadn’t worked for about 5 months (unless uni counts as work). I still don’t have my licence and these were basically the only self esteem issues facing me at the time, I was a little apprehensive but basically ready for a spiritually enlightening experience.
The setting: At home, I usually live near campus usually in the country, but was visiting my parents for the holidays and decided the comfort of home was a very good place to experience a spiritual trip as it’s a place for me that is recognised as safe and hold some nostalgic attributes to it as well. I also had a little head cold that wouldn’t leave, and when it’s winter, the warmth of the inside is very comfortably
The Trip: I sat and ate 5g at my computer desk as I chatted away on msn, general ranting, and a discussion with some friends so they knew what I was attempting and to exercise a little caution, but just to know that I had some background protection, as I’d chosen to trip by myself to avoid any possible social anxieties, Not that I’m the type to get social anxiety easy at all, but people tend to distract my thought patterns when I have to change the direction of my thought to communicate properly. My ideas so commonly don’t convey easily into English when I’m on a high dose of psychedelics. So about half an hour later I get up to go watch some TV and take another 2g to consider eating once I get upstairs. After about 10 minutes I get paranoid about forgetting about them or losing them as the visuals start to take effect, and I start overanalysing the tv show I was watching. It became overwhelmingly easy to relate the scenarios to my life and absorb points of view as apposed to language.
About 30 minutes later I was tripping quite hard and beginning to experience a bit of nervous anxiety, as my thoughts would erratically jump in my inability to find comfort in my altered state. I headed downstairs and decided to go outside for a bit. As I headed downstairs the walls tried to eat me as they kept stretching and closing in towards me, but it was all in good fun. I wasn’t really scared at all, just feeling a little discomfort. I stepped outside and was blasted by some fresh winter air, and was comforted by this soft glow that looked as if it was a dream. The road and grass shined and appeared to be softened like when they put the cloth filter over the camera for a show like the bold and the beautiful. Everything looked nice and just wobbled, grew, shrunk and melted, I even noticed a strobe like effect in my vision as I’d notice points of interest and my vision would dart around the place. I went running down the road, which eventually turned into a skip and then weird flowing movements, basically whatever I felt like, it always feels so good sober, and thus even better now. I was lost in the beauty of my body, my energy and the world.
I danced my way around the neighbourhood until I arrived back at home to go have my shower. By this point the trip was beginning to take full grips of me, so I went to have a shower, I place of usual heavy insights. Although, before I had my shower I looked in the mirror. HAHA, the mirror got me good, it felt as if I connected with myself on the other side, and we swapped. I experienced everything as a reflection, suddenly I was just a reflection of the world that existed around me, a mirror of perception, and an overwhelming sense of quantum physics washed over me, I was now placed in the realm of limitless possibilities. As the walls were no longer white and began to pulse many different colours, like psychedelic acne all over the walls, and the thoughts of me eating an orange and confusing it with a certain song were all very possible as well. Walls ceased to exist after this and I forgot where I was standing, only to look back into the mirror, catch my own eyes again, and instantly everything was normal again. I stepped back from the mirror a little shaken up by the experience and stepped into the shower.
I was in there for a good half an hour, indulging in multiple body sensations and really appreciating the warmth, cleaning out my lungs, stretching muscles, giving my body a full workout. A fair bit of yoga and I honestly felt like a Hindu in the shower, I’ve never felt that attached to that religion before, but it took on a whole cultural experience, from the far reaches of India, A man was now indulging in western shower. Felt a strong cross spirituality. It’s funny how each different psychedelic drug seems to remind me of my spiritual readings. LSD has a strong Buddhist edge, Salvia has a strong Taoist edge, Mescaline definitely has a connection with the peyote religion (duh), 2c’s feel like Greek mythology and the teachings of Don Juan. Though have a similarity with mescaline as it too felt mythological. Now mushrooms make me feel Hindu, in an enchanted sense. Although. ergotamine’s still seem to have the strongest grip on my spirituality, being predominantly into Buddhist teachings (these mind states were revealed to me before they were followed up with readings by the way.) Unrelated but still interesting: Whenever I eat apples on LSD they always cause me a very unique mindfuck of their own, and I have even philosophised the concepts of Adam and Eve’s garden of Eden was just a blissful nirvana of ignorance, chaos had not yet ensued until they had strayed away from their instincts and had hit on the world of experimentation that thus exposed them to a taught ego and thus the tree of knowledge, created sin. As sin makes us aware of existence and thus we question the fragments of reality rather then let our instincts justify it for us. I believe there is a lot of worldly understandings to be found within the depths of our own instincts, and only through understanding the inner workings of our bodies are we able to understand the world externally.
Anyway, moving along, I got out of the shower and had another go at the mirror again. It lacked the same intensity as it did before, which left me a little disappointed, but was an excuse to move on and head back downstairs, into my room. Not before getting lost in another mirror giggling at my own character, lack of balance, and the points of view of reality that make this world so worth living in, mmm contentment. I my computer beep as someone nudged me on msn, one of my tripper friends had just gotten home so I decided to have a chat with him, but holy crap… I couldn’t even spell dyslexic, let alone read it. The whole screen was just a jumble of letters as my eyes would dart reading one word at a time. “Trip, home, what, sorry, yellow” was an example of the way I would read things. Then I noticed to the right of me an envelope from my university, so I opened it and attempted to read it, wow… not easy at all. I see three words, English, trouble and dissatisfied. I read a few more words and try to put together this jumble of endless possibilities for what they could mean, let me just tell you it was plain retarded. So I put on a mix tape of some drill n bass and some psy trance and laid down in my bed with the light on, because I couldn’t see a thing with them turned off.
I was in bed contemplating my life, my love for family, my love for friends, my reliability, compassion for others, my positions, my options in life, everything. Although I must admit, my thoughts were quite erratic and very difficult to hold onto, this is where I find LSD or even mescaline a far better spiritual tool. Then I started to feel quite sick, like I was going to purge soon. Then I looked in the corner of my room on the ceiling and noticed this red colour which was confused for the colour of blood which upon investigation turned out to be the paint thinning and the red wood underneath shining through, it was enough to bring back the story my mum had told me earlier about a girl dying of a tumour in our house, and I started experiencing very negative vibes from the room. As I realised I’d lived in this room for the last 3 years at school, which is when coincidentally my grades started to drop (though, it’s a lot of effort changing rooms). My sister lived there 7 years before me and had ended up with chronic fatigue… hmmm, whatever.
I left the room and dry heaved into the toilet and then lay on the floor in the hallway, My eyes were rolling into my skull at this point and I felt like sleeping, I felt well on the verge of passing out as well, like I’d done a lot of mushrooms and my body wasn’t appreciating it. Anyway, I maintained consciousness, though I later regret it, as I feel I may have experienced a breakthrough dissociative state, similar to the alternate realms I have visited on DXM and ketamine. Oh well, the thoughts became very peaceful as I made up my mind to continue with uni, just change my subject choices for the next semester, find a new job, continue my music production and just use my time more resourcefully. Euphoria began to wash over me as the intense desire to pass out left me, while I progressively got an increasing desire to actually pass out (thus the regret… perhaps I never was meant to pass out, it was just about letting my ego do what it wanted). Anyway, peace settled and I danced in the dark in front of the mirror and was able to push my bodies to extreme limits, stretch and dance in an orgasmic fluid motion, I was impressing the shit out of myself.
I wrote a list of things to do and things to remember, played with some music, and settled down to some morning Christian viewing on TV as I settled into that amazing body high and clarity that is trademark to the mushroom experience. Eventually went to sleep by about 7am as I watched the sun rise and had quite a peaceful sleep. Woke up feeling a minor sleep disturbance, but on the whole in good moods wish later bloomed into a euphoria that lasted me the rest of the week.
To conclude, I have never experienced a rebirth as some trip reports describe and am slightly envious as I feel like I’ve somewhat missed out, though perhaps it’s time to wait for a breakthrough DMT experience to take me there.
Psychologically I was at some crossroads, was mid semester of my neuroscience/psychology degree and had just failed psychology by 4 marks, (been a little too distracted that semester). So I was deciding what to do with my life, and wondering if I’m in the right course. If I want to take up a career in dancing, pursue my passion for writing, or put more time into the production of music. I was unemployed at the time and hadn’t worked for about 5 months (unless uni counts as work). I still don’t have my licence and these were basically the only self esteem issues facing me at the time, I was a little apprehensive but basically ready for a spiritually enlightening experience.
The setting: At home, I usually live near campus usually in the country, but was visiting my parents for the holidays and decided the comfort of home was a very good place to experience a spiritual trip as it’s a place for me that is recognised as safe and hold some nostalgic attributes to it as well. I also had a little head cold that wouldn’t leave, and when it’s winter, the warmth of the inside is very comfortably
The Trip: I sat and ate 5g at my computer desk as I chatted away on msn, general ranting, and a discussion with some friends so they knew what I was attempting and to exercise a little caution, but just to know that I had some background protection, as I’d chosen to trip by myself to avoid any possible social anxieties, Not that I’m the type to get social anxiety easy at all, but people tend to distract my thought patterns when I have to change the direction of my thought to communicate properly. My ideas so commonly don’t convey easily into English when I’m on a high dose of psychedelics. So about half an hour later I get up to go watch some TV and take another 2g to consider eating once I get upstairs. After about 10 minutes I get paranoid about forgetting about them or losing them as the visuals start to take effect, and I start overanalysing the tv show I was watching. It became overwhelmingly easy to relate the scenarios to my life and absorb points of view as apposed to language.
About 30 minutes later I was tripping quite hard and beginning to experience a bit of nervous anxiety, as my thoughts would erratically jump in my inability to find comfort in my altered state. I headed downstairs and decided to go outside for a bit. As I headed downstairs the walls tried to eat me as they kept stretching and closing in towards me, but it was all in good fun. I wasn’t really scared at all, just feeling a little discomfort. I stepped outside and was blasted by some fresh winter air, and was comforted by this soft glow that looked as if it was a dream. The road and grass shined and appeared to be softened like when they put the cloth filter over the camera for a show like the bold and the beautiful. Everything looked nice and just wobbled, grew, shrunk and melted, I even noticed a strobe like effect in my vision as I’d notice points of interest and my vision would dart around the place. I went running down the road, which eventually turned into a skip and then weird flowing movements, basically whatever I felt like, it always feels so good sober, and thus even better now. I was lost in the beauty of my body, my energy and the world.
I danced my way around the neighbourhood until I arrived back at home to go have my shower. By this point the trip was beginning to take full grips of me, so I went to have a shower, I place of usual heavy insights. Although, before I had my shower I looked in the mirror. HAHA, the mirror got me good, it felt as if I connected with myself on the other side, and we swapped. I experienced everything as a reflection, suddenly I was just a reflection of the world that existed around me, a mirror of perception, and an overwhelming sense of quantum physics washed over me, I was now placed in the realm of limitless possibilities. As the walls were no longer white and began to pulse many different colours, like psychedelic acne all over the walls, and the thoughts of me eating an orange and confusing it with a certain song were all very possible as well. Walls ceased to exist after this and I forgot where I was standing, only to look back into the mirror, catch my own eyes again, and instantly everything was normal again. I stepped back from the mirror a little shaken up by the experience and stepped into the shower.
I was in there for a good half an hour, indulging in multiple body sensations and really appreciating the warmth, cleaning out my lungs, stretching muscles, giving my body a full workout. A fair bit of yoga and I honestly felt like a Hindu in the shower, I’ve never felt that attached to that religion before, but it took on a whole cultural experience, from the far reaches of India, A man was now indulging in western shower. Felt a strong cross spirituality. It’s funny how each different psychedelic drug seems to remind me of my spiritual readings. LSD has a strong Buddhist edge, Salvia has a strong Taoist edge, Mescaline definitely has a connection with the peyote religion (duh), 2c’s feel like Greek mythology and the teachings of Don Juan. Though have a similarity with mescaline as it too felt mythological. Now mushrooms make me feel Hindu, in an enchanted sense. Although. ergotamine’s still seem to have the strongest grip on my spirituality, being predominantly into Buddhist teachings (these mind states were revealed to me before they were followed up with readings by the way.) Unrelated but still interesting: Whenever I eat apples on LSD they always cause me a very unique mindfuck of their own, and I have even philosophised the concepts of Adam and Eve’s garden of Eden was just a blissful nirvana of ignorance, chaos had not yet ensued until they had strayed away from their instincts and had hit on the world of experimentation that thus exposed them to a taught ego and thus the tree of knowledge, created sin. As sin makes us aware of existence and thus we question the fragments of reality rather then let our instincts justify it for us. I believe there is a lot of worldly understandings to be found within the depths of our own instincts, and only through understanding the inner workings of our bodies are we able to understand the world externally.
Anyway, moving along, I got out of the shower and had another go at the mirror again. It lacked the same intensity as it did before, which left me a little disappointed, but was an excuse to move on and head back downstairs, into my room. Not before getting lost in another mirror giggling at my own character, lack of balance, and the points of view of reality that make this world so worth living in, mmm contentment. I my computer beep as someone nudged me on msn, one of my tripper friends had just gotten home so I decided to have a chat with him, but holy crap… I couldn’t even spell dyslexic, let alone read it. The whole screen was just a jumble of letters as my eyes would dart reading one word at a time. “Trip, home, what, sorry, yellow” was an example of the way I would read things. Then I noticed to the right of me an envelope from my university, so I opened it and attempted to read it, wow… not easy at all. I see three words, English, trouble and dissatisfied. I read a few more words and try to put together this jumble of endless possibilities for what they could mean, let me just tell you it was plain retarded. So I put on a mix tape of some drill n bass and some psy trance and laid down in my bed with the light on, because I couldn’t see a thing with them turned off.
I was in bed contemplating my life, my love for family, my love for friends, my reliability, compassion for others, my positions, my options in life, everything. Although I must admit, my thoughts were quite erratic and very difficult to hold onto, this is where I find LSD or even mescaline a far better spiritual tool. Then I started to feel quite sick, like I was going to purge soon. Then I looked in the corner of my room on the ceiling and noticed this red colour which was confused for the colour of blood which upon investigation turned out to be the paint thinning and the red wood underneath shining through, it was enough to bring back the story my mum had told me earlier about a girl dying of a tumour in our house, and I started experiencing very negative vibes from the room. As I realised I’d lived in this room for the last 3 years at school, which is when coincidentally my grades started to drop (though, it’s a lot of effort changing rooms). My sister lived there 7 years before me and had ended up with chronic fatigue… hmmm, whatever.
I left the room and dry heaved into the toilet and then lay on the floor in the hallway, My eyes were rolling into my skull at this point and I felt like sleeping, I felt well on the verge of passing out as well, like I’d done a lot of mushrooms and my body wasn’t appreciating it. Anyway, I maintained consciousness, though I later regret it, as I feel I may have experienced a breakthrough dissociative state, similar to the alternate realms I have visited on DXM and ketamine. Oh well, the thoughts became very peaceful as I made up my mind to continue with uni, just change my subject choices for the next semester, find a new job, continue my music production and just use my time more resourcefully. Euphoria began to wash over me as the intense desire to pass out left me, while I progressively got an increasing desire to actually pass out (thus the regret… perhaps I never was meant to pass out, it was just about letting my ego do what it wanted). Anyway, peace settled and I danced in the dark in front of the mirror and was able to push my bodies to extreme limits, stretch and dance in an orgasmic fluid motion, I was impressing the shit out of myself.
I wrote a list of things to do and things to remember, played with some music, and settled down to some morning Christian viewing on TV as I settled into that amazing body high and clarity that is trademark to the mushroom experience. Eventually went to sleep by about 7am as I watched the sun rise and had quite a peaceful sleep. Woke up feeling a minor sleep disturbance, but on the whole in good moods wish later bloomed into a euphoria that lasted me the rest of the week.
To conclude, I have never experienced a rebirth as some trip reports describe and am slightly envious as I feel like I’ve somewhat missed out, though perhaps it’s time to wait for a breakthrough DMT experience to take me there.
OR just, you know, try not to blackout.
