Guess what?? Its Bin-O-shit time!!
Bullet Proof Monk.
The only thing that could save this woeful piece of film is that it Chow Yun-Fat is doing some serious martial arts in it. But guess what! They roll every single fight scene with ridiculous CGI and totally unbelieavable body movements. A spin kick just ain't a spin kick when at the last second the guy doing it bounces off the ceiling for
absolutely no apparent reason.
1 out of
10
Laughably crap. Get utterly, utterly unmovingly stoned and use this as room illumination instead of putting the light on.
I-Spy
Eddie Murphy needs a new car I think. It pains me that at some remote length I've helped him afford it. They should have a pension fund in Hollywood for actors that are trying to cash in by making absolute and utter garbage later on in life.
Whats that? The story? I can't pause to make sense of the film due to the unstoppable 'im such a cool fast paced black guy, listen to what I have to say' idiotic babbling between Murphy and his white side kick Owen Wilson. It was still going on an hour after the 6 people that started to watch this had all left the room.
1 out of
10
If your interested in seeing someone talk through an entire movie and do it with absolute class grab yourself a copy of 'Fierce Creatures' and watch Kevin Klein go barmy. Incidentally this is the sequel to 'A Fish called Wanda'. Both brilliant ventures if your at the video store.
Basic
Samuel L Jackson is in this. So it gets 2 stars straight off the bat. And he does his regular Sammy J badass routine that has made me love him for a very long time.
On the flipside - the rest of the cast just meander through a story line that has more to do with a writer somewhere having schizophrenia then any actual progression of a proper plot.
I dare you to sit and watch this without laughing, and at the end figure out why a room full of supposedly dead 'special ops' agents are sitting around in a kitchen in Columbia with the rest of their lives ahead of them, and more over what the hell they are going to do now.
I said this to a friend as we walked out (and I said it before I viewed the same opinion on the Movie show just before someone does me for plagiarism

) But you get left with so many questions from this film, and if your honest with yourself you realise you dont even remotely give a shit about the answers, your just glad its over.
Summarised?
Sammy J being a bad ass and some good jungle warfare / military training. Visible over acting from the scrawny white guy in the hospital (I refuse to put in the effort to Google his name) and a plot that isn't a plot, its a filler for the opening titles and the credits.
Want to see military training at its best? Get G.I. Jane.
4 out of
10.