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mother.

jameslovesyou

jameslovesyou

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 17, 2007
Messages
91
Location
Texas
when i wouldn't come willingly
she would chase me around the house
and around that kitchen island
swinging the biggest leather belt she could find
and sometimes that wasn't quite enough
so she would turn it around and swing the buckle
and sometimes it would hit me in the head
but EVERYTIME it ended with
go to your room and think about what you've done
and i DID go to my room
but
all i could think about was what she had done
and how wrong it was
and how it would feel
to twist a blade into her chest

as i grew older
i kept the visits to minimum
a safe distance for twenty five years
trying
to maintain that i could never
forgive her for the pain
or him who did nothing to stop it

she has grown old now
crying often at
mistakes
regretting
betting on a dream that wasn't even hers
and now when i look into those eyes once despised
all i see...
is a sad old woman
who needs a kiss
on the cheek.
 
Last edited:
Parental relationships can be a strange thing.

she has grown old now
crying often at
mistakes
regretting
betting on a dream that wasn't even hers
and now when i look into those eyes once despised
all i see...
is a sad old woman
who needs a kiss
on the cheek.
Click to expand...

I really like the way you capture these aspects of your life.
 
^ i like the exact same lines in this piece. you've really captured the moment in what seems to me, exactly the right words.

this is a great contribution
 
This really hit home. I have what I guess you could call a 'strained' relationship with my parents and haven't spoken in a while. When I was younger I used to pick apart everything they did wrong and disliked them for it but in the end I've found it impossible to hate them. No parent is perfect, and while I guess some parents make some pretty big mistakes, deep down they need just as much support as their kids do.
 
I can feel the regret on both sides of the situation. We've all made mistakes, and sometimes one leads to another. You've captured that very well, in my mind.
 
I felt this deep down too.

Would you consider sharing it with your mother? Do you think it might help both of you to forgive each other?
 
both of my parents are backwoods country folk. they are very difficult to communicate with, but i have tried talking with them about these things and the usual response is "well i'm so sorry i was a bad parent, you just don't know what it was like raising you!"
blaaagggghhhhh!

blessings.
 
^^ Wow, i would get that exact same response from my mother if i tried to talk to her about that sort of thing. SHe would get all defensive and there would be no chance of meaningful dialogue.

Sometimes it's best to just let go. She come back to you eventually, and when they are ready to talk, then you can forgive them, and they can forgive you.

I've been waiting for 5 years, and it's gonna be at least another five before i get mine...
 
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