Okay, for starters I would not touch weed if you have not. If there's any euphoria from it, it's accompanied by a tinge of paranoia (at least for me).
Now, no visual effects at all?
If you were open to a small amount (and I mean limited to the extent of objects kind of swaying a little bit) of visual effects then I would recommend the fuck out of zolpidem (Ambien). Caused insane euphoria for me, but it's kind of "get it or don't get it" sort of thing. At some point the visual effects stop, so I'll say that it can be made to fit this criteria and it's easily the most euphoric thing I've ever taken, ever. I've fucking IV'd hydromorphone before and if I had my tolerance (to zolpidem) reset, I'd take zolpidem over it, or ANY opiate without having to think about it.
Other than that, benzos probably would be your best bet. I'd recommend diazepam or temazepam, which I find very similar in feeling. Again though, some people get euphoria, some don't.
I've also heard GHB is great but I've never tried it.
MDMA is good, but it has this tendency to make some people feel really down and shitty the next day.
Also, if you're open to opioids that aren't opiates, kratom is fantastic, so long as you keep your usage of it moderated - it may not be an opiate but it can get you like one if you're not careful (but the withdrawals are quite mild).
Finally, the simplest solution...just drinking enough alcohol to get buzzed? lol
