My Uncle is on the board of a major International Pharmaceutical Company.
Just like any security leaks that mysteriously find their way into the media spot-light. Whether it be an exposed secret love affair from emails sent, bugged recorded phone calls, naked picture texts from politicians etc, celebrities and actors gossip, or there's the good old fashioned snooping on a left-on laptop in my uncle's office when I was drinking with my uncle and he passed out.
Drug Code Name: 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit [Acronym for its Chemical Composition]
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit: Overview
Placebo Drugs Incorporated, the Pharmaceutical Industry Leaders, develop, produce and market quality drugs licensed for use as medications, and are proud to present our most innovative discovery and product yet: 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit (Brand name yet to be decided).
Our new miracle drug 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit is a world first and a major break through in Pharmacology, which is the study of medicine, our speciality!
It is the world's most powerful and euphoric drug, a brand new multiple-use-management drug with a "3-way synergistic system" that is approximately 60,000 times more potent compared with Morphine and 45,000 times stronger than Methamphetamine, and 90 times the strength of Adrenochrome, which is extracted from the tongue of the Japanese Fugu puffer fish.
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit has been in development for the last 5 years, with the worlds leading chemists collaborating on this $8000,000 project to produce a drug that will benefit millions of people around the globe.
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit is a totally new concept, we call it the revolutionary "3-way synergistic system", the first of its kind as this has never been achieved before.
We have also found 3 brand new receptors in the brain which were never previously known to exist.
The first chemical works on the new Opioid receptor, the second chemical works on the new Methamphetamine receptor, and third new chemical works on the new Adrenochrome receptor.
With this new "3-way synergistic system" working together instead of fighting against each other, you have perfect harmony and balance. A pain relief management system without feeling drowsy, tired and fatigued. A kick-start to the day to give you an energy boost and that smarter edge at work, and last but not least a relaxed and calm well being feeling that wards off depression from today's busy and stressful lifestyle.
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit will be promoted as a broad spectrum first line of defense, cure all miracle drug.
These include the following medical conditions:
- Ambition
- Do I look Fat-in-these-Jeans Syndrome
- Boredom
- Broken Hearts
- Blame Everybody-Else Disorder
- Camel Toe
- Camel Balls
- Dysphoria
- Drug Addiction
- Enjoyment of Life
- Enthusiasm
- Facebook Addiction
- Flatulence
- Gainful Employment
- Giving a Toss
- General Ass-Hole Personality Disorder
- Having a Bad-Day Syndrome
- Honesty
- Happiness
- I Hate-My-Job Syndrome
- I Hate-My-Life Syndrome
- Impotence
- Inferiority Complex
- Irritable Mother In-Law Syndrome
- Irritable Boss Syndrome
- Integrity
- Intelligence
- High Self Esteem
- Monday-itis
- Over Achievement
- Premature Ejaculation
- Productivity
- Stress
- Truthfulness
- Under Achievement
- World Peace (to be confirmed)
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit should be available for release to the public for medicinal use to patients by Medical Practitioners and Psychiatrists at the completion of its six month trial on humans by December 25th 2011.
With a double-blind trial study conducted, 95% of all the subjects tested became addicted to 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit and generally lost the ability to function normally in society and carry out their day to day activities, and were worse off than before they used 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit.
We predict our Company will make ten billion dollars before this drug is banned and withdrawn from public use. (Note: Do not print)
It will most likely carry a minimum age restriction of 10 years and over and will be available on prescription only. (Due to it's carcinogenic properties - Do not print)
Administration of 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit:
Not to be taken if chocolate chip cookies are consumed within the last 3 hours.
For best results take daily with a grain of salt.
Just like any security leaks that mysteriously find their way into the media spot-light. Whether it be an exposed secret love affair from emails sent, bugged recorded phone calls, naked picture texts from politicians etc, celebrities and actors gossip, or there's the good old fashioned snooping on a left-on laptop in my uncle's office when I was drinking with my uncle and he passed out.
Drug Code Name: 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit [Acronym for its Chemical Composition]
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit: Overview
Placebo Drugs Incorporated, the Pharmaceutical Industry Leaders, develop, produce and market quality drugs licensed for use as medications, and are proud to present our most innovative discovery and product yet: 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit (Brand name yet to be decided).
Our new miracle drug 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit is a world first and a major break through in Pharmacology, which is the study of medicine, our speciality!
It is the world's most powerful and euphoric drug, a brand new multiple-use-management drug with a "3-way synergistic system" that is approximately 60,000 times more potent compared with Morphine and 45,000 times stronger than Methamphetamine, and 90 times the strength of Adrenochrome, which is extracted from the tongue of the Japanese Fugu puffer fish.
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit has been in development for the last 5 years, with the worlds leading chemists collaborating on this $8000,000 project to produce a drug that will benefit millions of people around the globe.
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit is a totally new concept, we call it the revolutionary "3-way synergistic system", the first of its kind as this has never been achieved before.
We have also found 3 brand new receptors in the brain which were never previously known to exist.
The first chemical works on the new Opioid receptor, the second chemical works on the new Methamphetamine receptor, and third new chemical works on the new Adrenochrome receptor.
With this new "3-way synergistic system" working together instead of fighting against each other, you have perfect harmony and balance. A pain relief management system without feeling drowsy, tired and fatigued. A kick-start to the day to give you an energy boost and that smarter edge at work, and last but not least a relaxed and calm well being feeling that wards off depression from today's busy and stressful lifestyle.
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit will be promoted as a broad spectrum first line of defense, cure all miracle drug.
These include the following medical conditions:
- Ambition
- Do I look Fat-in-these-Jeans Syndrome
- Boredom
- Broken Hearts
- Blame Everybody-Else Disorder
- Camel Toe
- Camel Balls
- Dysphoria
- Drug Addiction
- Enjoyment of Life
- Enthusiasm
- Facebook Addiction
- Flatulence
- Gainful Employment
- Giving a Toss
- General Ass-Hole Personality Disorder
- Having a Bad-Day Syndrome
- Honesty
- Happiness
- I Hate-My-Job Syndrome
- I Hate-My-Life Syndrome
- Impotence
- Inferiority Complex
- Irritable Mother In-Law Syndrome
- Irritable Boss Syndrome
- Integrity
- Intelligence
- High Self Esteem
- Monday-itis
- Over Achievement
- Premature Ejaculation
- Productivity
- Stress
- Truthfulness
- Under Achievement
- World Peace (to be confirmed)
1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit should be available for release to the public for medicinal use to patients by Medical Practitioners and Psychiatrists at the completion of its six month trial on humans by December 25th 2011.
With a double-blind trial study conducted, 95% of all the subjects tested became addicted to 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit and generally lost the ability to function normally in society and carry out their day to day activities, and were worse off than before they used 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit.
We predict our Company will make ten billion dollars before this drug is banned and withdrawn from public use. (Note: Do not print)
It will most likely carry a minimum age restriction of 10 years and over and will be available on prescription only. (Due to it's carcinogenic properties - Do not print)
Administration of 1DiK-1VAge-2BAL-2Tit:
Not to be taken if chocolate chip cookies are consumed within the last 3 hours.
For best results take daily with a grain of salt.
