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Might follow a girl to college...

Z

ZeroBlood

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 11, 2013
Messages
29
So its quite a long story, but I will keep it as short as possible. I live in the USA in Idaho, and I'm a senior in high school. For the most part I hate everyone there, all the kids are white trash pretty much so I don't usually talk to a lot of them. This year in one of my study halls I started talking to this really hot girl who I have known since middle school but we never really said much of anything to each other until about 3 months ago. She started coming over to sit with me and one of my friends (i think they are friends so that is the reason i think) and we kind of slowly became friends.

Pretty much I started falling for her more than I ever have for anyone else, and it seemed like she was kind of into me too, but I don't really know for sure. I have always been bad with girls. After the first week of being completely in love, I realized how dumb it would be to try and start a relationship, because 1. im not good with girls really, and 2. she was saying how shes already enrolled to go to a college out of state. So I figured shes probably not looking for a serious relationship if shes leaving in less than a year, and I am the type of guy who is looking for a serious relationship so I tried to forget about it, but I couldn't. We started becoming closer and closer but not as close as we needed to be to start dating or anything. Out of nowhere she started saying how I should come hangout with her and her friends and mentioned something about going to the same college as her and all that stuff, which kind of caught me off guard. At first I took none of it seriously, and over our 2 week break from school for christmas, she never contacted me once to hangout like she mentioned. I invited her out to go to breakfast with some other friends on New Years Day but she claimed she was too tired from partying the night before and cancelled on us. So I figured she probably realized I was into her and was trying to back away, and I accepted that I had no chance.

Next day we are back in school, she asks me to go out with some friends of hers to a restaurant after school. This point I'm pretty much 100% confused. I had just convinced myself that I was starting to kind of creep her out and was going to back off. She started getting really serious about trying to get me to go to the same college as her. I mentioned a lot how I have no clue where I'm going (and I really have absolutely no clue) and she kept insisting. I had checked the place out before and It looked like a pretty nice university. Its on the beach, has a really nice living place, pretty much was everything I was looking for in a college honestly, but I didn't want to look like a freak following her there before she started asking me to seriously go there. At this point I have no clue what to do and what to think. I am still completely split 50/50 as to whether or not she likes me as anything more than a friend, and I am running out of time to choose where I'm going to college. Like I need to decide within literally less than 2 weeks. Any advice for this confused child?

TL;DR - Met a girl who I think I'm in love with, she may or may not like me as a friend or more than a friend, she wants me to go to the same college as her (which is 20 hours from where I live) and I have less than 2 weeks to decide what to do. ADVICE PLEASE :?
 
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First of all, stop thinking about this girl. You're 18 and have known her for all of three months. From the sound of it, you've hung out a few times and haven't gotten your dick wet even though you're obviously attracted to her. More than likely you haven't even made a move. Even if you end up following her like a puppy, she's going to meet someone at school and fuck him senseless while you're standing on the sidelines ready to be her emotional tampon if & when he leaves her.

Do what's best for you, simple as that.
 
She sounds fucking crazy and you sound really insecure. Stay the fuck away or she's gonna manipulate and use you.

Even if she wasn't manipulative, this kind of thing never works out. My high school basketball coach used to tell us about how he had a scholarship to play ball at a D1 school, but passed on the opportunity to follow his girlfriend (who he wanted to marry) to college. They broke up a year later and he was so torn up that he never got back to playing college ball.
 
Max Power said:
First of all, stop thinking about this girl. You're 18 and have known her for all of three months. From the sound of it, you've hung out a few times and haven't gotten your dick wet even though you're obviously attracted to her. More than likely you haven't even made a move. Even if you end up following her like a puppy, she's going to meet someone at school and fuck him senseless while you're standing on the sidelines ready to be her emotional tampon if & when he leaves her.

Do what's best for you, simple as that.
Click to expand...

I've considered that a lot. The problem is that I am afraid of what you just said actually happening and don't want to go for that reason, but at the same time it seems like a really nice college that I actually want to attend regardless of whether shes there or not.

I should have clarified this a bit better, but shes the reason I don't want to go; I know if I go I will get all upset over her again and end up being the emotional tampon like you said. The reason I really want to go is because I like the college, location, and Housing. If I don't go there I really only have 2 other options. One is staying at home and commuting to college which I don't want to do, and the other is going to a different college thats very similar and is the same price but not nearly as nice.

Its like I'm picking between staying at home where I hate the way my lifes going, going away to a nice beach college where I will be haunted by her for 4 years, or going to a different crappier college that I don't really like but will be able to start off alone.
 
She's asking you to go, and it looks like the perfect college for you.

Sounds good to me :D
fuck what everyone else thinks by the way.
 
Blx to all that speak to her TODAY and tell her how you feel, what's the worse that can happen? She could reject you? If she does be cool with it at least you will both know where you stand, you can still go to the same college and still be friends after a cooling off period. You are young and there will plenty of chances to pull girls in the coming months and years, you have to get past the fear of rejections, shrug them off and move on to the next girl who you find attractive, take chances with women, if you do you will gain confidence. Go for it!

Put your cards on the table sometimes girls will pass at first but if your cool about it they come round later...
 
fleea is spot on. Speak to her, be mature, be yourself, then you will know the answer.
 
ZeroBlood said:
I've considered that a lot. The problem is that I am afraid of what you just said actually happening and don't want to go for that reason, but at the same time it seems like a really nice college that I actually want to attend regardless of whether shes there or not.

I should have clarified this a bit better, but shes the reason I don't want to go; I know if I go I will get all upset over her again and end up being the emotional tampon like you said. The reason I really want to go is because I like the college, location, and Housing. If I don't go there I really only have 2 other options. One is staying at home and commuting to college which I don't want to do, and the other is going to a different college thats very similar and is the same price but not nearly as nice.

Its like I'm picking between staying at home where I hate the way my lifes going, going away to a nice beach college where I will be haunted by her for 4 years, or going to a different crappier college that I don't really like but will be able to start off alone.
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If it really is a better school and you think you'd be better there - then go for it.
I'm confident that the university is big enough that, if things don't work out, or if she finds someone else, or whatever - that you WILL be able to get away. Don't live in the same residence as her. Chances are, you won't *have* to see her if you don't want to! Universities are HUGE - they aren't like high schools. So, if things don't work out, then you can still get away. Just make sure you make your own friends when you get there!
 
I'm probably the only person who has ever seen the show Felicity but that was what it about except the girl follows the guy. Anyway back to real life, definitely talk to her before hand if you think you can't handle just being friends with her. No one knows what may or may not happen in the future with her but you need to make your education your first priority. You'll either have to take the chance or let it pass by. You'll get Better with the girls, college is a whole different game than high school you might find that you really don't want to be tied down with her or anyone. I hope everything works out well for you!
 
ZeroBlood said:
So its quite a long story, but I will keep it as short as possible. I live in the USA and I'm a senior in high school. For the most part I hate everyone there, all the kids are white trash pretty much so I don't usually talk to a lot of them. This year in one of my study halls I started talking to this really hot girl who I have known since middle school but we never really said much of anything to each other until about 3 months ago. She started coming over to sit with me and one of my friends (i think they are friends so that is the reason i think) and we kind of slowly became friends.

Pretty much I started falling for her more than I ever have for anyone else, and it seemed like she was kind of into me too, but I don't really know for sure. I have always been bad with girls. After the first week of being completely in love, I realized how dumb it would be to try and start a relationship, because 1. im not good with girls really, and 2. she was saying how shes already enrolled to go to a college out of state. So I figured shes probably not looking for a serious relationship if shes leaving in less than a year, and I am the type of guy who is looking for a serious relationship so I tried to forget about it, but I couldn't. We started becoming closer and closer but not as close as we needed to be to start dating or anything. Out of nowhere she started saying how I should come hangout with her and her friends and mentioned something about going to the same college as her and all that stuff, which kind of caught me off guard. At first I took none of it seriously, and over our 2 week break from school for christmas, she never contacted me once to hangout like she mentioned. I invited her out to go to breakfast with some other friends on New Years Day but she claimed she was too tired from partying the night before and cancelled on us. So I figured she probably realized I was into her and was trying to back away, and I accepted that I had no chance.

Next day we are back in school, she asks me to go out with some friends of hers to a restaurant after school. This point I'm pretty much 100% confused. I had just convinced myself that I was starting to kind of creep her out and was going to back off. She started getting really serious about trying to get me to go to the same college as her. I mentioned a lot how I have no clue where I'm going (and I really have absolutely no clue) and she kept insisting. I had checked the place out before and It looked like a pretty nice university. Its on the beach, has a really nice living place, pretty much was everything I was looking for in a college honestly, but I didn't want to look like a freak following her there before she started asking me to seriously go there. At this point I have no clue what to do and what to think. I am still completely split 50/50 as to whether or not she likes me as anything more than a friend, and I am running out of time to choose where I'm going to college. Like I need to decide within literally less than 2 weeks. Any advice for this confused child?

TL;DR - Met a girl who I think I'm in love with, she may or may not like me as a friend or more than a friend, she wants me to go to the same college as her (which is 10 hours from where I live) and I have less than 2 weeks to decide what to do. ADVICE PLEASE :?
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Hmmm. This is rather suspicious. Is your family well off? Maybe she's looking for a meal ticket. Just saying.
 
You know what? College really is an amazing time. Go there if you want, you will be amazed at all of the new people you will meet. Don't go there just for her though...I guarantee that even if she is really into you, she will forget all about it when she gets a taste of what college life is like.

Your whole world is about to open up....don't spend too much angst worrying about a "serious relationship" while still in high school. You have your whole life ahead of you. Cliche, I know, but so true. Take it from someone who wishes they knew that back then...
 
llama112 said:
If it really is a better school and you think you'd be better there - then go for it.
I'm confident that the university is big enough that, if things don't work out, or if she finds someone else, or whatever - that you WILL be able to get away. Don't live in the same residence as her. Chances are, you won't *have* to see her if you don't want to! Universities are HUGE - they aren't like high schools. So, if things don't work out, then you can still get away. Just make sure you make your own friends when you get there!
Click to expand...

Ya, if you like the school anyway, go for it. You have nothing really to lose by going to a school you like in it's own right. And yes, universities are HUGE. I'm sitting in a university right now. It has 3 campuses across the city. The campus I am on right now has like 40,000 undergrad plus 15,000 grad students in a 3 city block sized area. See what I mean by "big" That's bigger than a lot of towns. You WILL meet people, friends, girlfriends, what ever you want. University is awesome and it's a ton of fun. So go, if she finds someone else, well so what? You'll still be learning, you'll still be going to parties (go and make friends with an engineering student, engineering people have the most epic parties. For each and every engineer in existence, there exists at least one keg.) and you'll still meet all kinds of sexy and smart girls.
 
If you like the university, sure. If there are other universities you'd rather go to, apply to those ones prioritarily. Do NOT let your choice be influenced by this girl. If it doesn't work out and you went there for her when you'd rather have tried somewhere else, you're going to regret it so much.
Example: I'd stupidly applied to this ridiculously difficult parisian literature school and was planning on going there, because my boyfriend at the time was going to be staying in Paris. Luckily for me I also applied to the UK (which is where I really wanted to go), and the irony is he and I broke up just a few months later. If I'd been stuck in Paris just because I'd wanted to be with him I'd be pretty miserable right about now.
You're the only one who should influence your decisions about your future.
 
emotionally - get hold of yourself. Use your rational mind and slow down, seriously you don't want to move JUST for a girl unless you known them for long enough to know them a fair bit - like a year or 2...minimum 8/9 months I'd say from experience and observation.

I actually did it, but also because of her really amazing closeknit group of friends - it was a great year. But if I had moved just for her I would have been a fool, and sorely disappointed after a few weeks/months.
 
Lol convince her that school really sucks and point her to a different one. Then you go there!

The ol' "bait and switch..."
 
Never follow a woman anywhere. All of the guys that followed my female friends anywhere all got done badly and there are a couple of new guys that will go through the meat grinder in the near future (never move to a new country for a woman). Going along with someone else's life plan gives them the vast majority of the power dynamic (nothing is ever 50/50, but this move skews it so far that you will have hamstrung yourself).

Follow your own dreams instead, women want a self-made man, they don't want a puppy - even if they think they do for a while. Build yourself up and they will come.
 
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Right now you're in a well. It's dull, repetitive, it's boring and mundane, it's repetitive, you know all of the people, and it's repetitive.

Soon you'll be in an ocean: people across the whole spectrum of weirdnesses and curious fashion styles, beliefs, ideologies and sexy bodies; men with rippling muscles, big bosomed women to bury your face into, whose eye-shadow runs whilst drunk and that sort of thing. There's a huge emphasis upon meeting strangers and either becoming friends and getting entirely wasted, or getting wasted and fucking one another senseless after reading a copy of 'The Pop-Up Karma Sutra'.

This girl is nothing special, and I say she wants to be your friend. Unless you're blind, deaf, dumb and physically numb, you'd have noticed by now whether she felt that way about you; three months is a long time. Tell her how you feel, certainly, and clear it all up before making a fresh new start around more women than you could want. There'll also be stuff to talk about because you're getting more into what purpose your life ought to be specialized for now, too, and you've yet to tell us what you and this girl are going to study...
 
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