Methamphetamine Discussion Thread 2.0

[lovepsychadelics]

Worried about the hot arm tingling thing though.

Was the IV equipment sterile? Was the the solution the meth was dissolved in normal saline/water for injection or some other source? Was the filter sterile? All these things could be a vector for infection which may explain the hot tingling sensation it may be phlebitis. If there is no redness or swelling at the injection site or any burning or hardening of the vein this is unlikely. The tingling sensation could also be from a missed shot and impacted nerve. If the sensations are spreading to the extremities an artery may have been hit. If this is the case seek medical attention, however medico's are quite judgmental especially regarding drug use (unless you have private health cover).

The symptoms your describing could be any one of these things. As she is a novice IV user it is possible she missed the shot and has impacted a nerve, hit an artery or managed to get an IV infection. If the area is hard and remains hot to the touch it's an infection. Get some antibiotics from your GP. The artery situation could require a hospital visit depending on the severity of the symptoms and especially if her hand starts swelling.

 

[bosman]

Hey does anyone know much about N-Iso, does it crackback exactly like meth? It looks great but there is no high and I feel like I could go to sleep 4 hours after 2 - 3p???

 

[the_ketaman]

I hope to god yesterday was my last shot of meth or use in any way. There are so many threads full of people saying "hope things get better k-man" or something similar but I really dont deserve it. Ive fucked myself up almost willingly. The amount of time spent in rehab only to come out and usually use that very day. I dont deserve any sympathy. For so long ive though poor me, ive had difficulties in life, ive had pain and suffering but most of it was brought on by myself or at least preventable. And how many other people in this world have problems much worse than mine yet they dont turn to drugs or self-pity. Im a complete joke in mine and plenty of other peoples lives.

Yesterday I had a life changing event. My mum had a mental breakdown due to my meth use and I had to call ambos and police because she smashed up everything in the house and I was terrified she would make an attempt on her life. All because of the stress ive put that amazingly strong and loving woman through. Meth is just the devil in my eyes. Ive lost EVERYTHING from friends and family to money, self respect, happiness and a life but you know what. I deserve every bit of punishment I cop. I dont want people to feel sorry for me, you should be furious with me and tell me to shut the fuck up, stop preaching irresponsibility or fuck off to another forum.

Yes im scattered but I meant all of that. In the last year or so my internet persona and my actual self have gone from a caring person with good harm reduction advice to a complete idiot who noone should listen to. This time in rehab things have to change otherwise I dont feel like I deserve to be apart of this amazing world that is being corrupted by careless people like myself.

Fuck meth and fuck everything that it has turned me into. I wish I were one of these people with no regrets but my life is becoming a regret.

 

[footscrazy]

... Anyone else ever find that, sometimes after getting on it, the idea of sleep almost becomes kind of terrifying? I often find myself refusing to just give in and pass out, despite the fact that I'm out of ciggies and bud and gear. What horror am I supposed to be avoiding?

Fuck, I felt that exactly. I was scared of sleeping - even knowing no amount of drugs would get high me anymore, extending the scatterdness seemed preferable to giving up and going to bed. I don't know what it was - I think I was shit scared about being alone with myself, being alone with my mind and my thoughts - in a situation where there was no distractions - dark, nothing to watch or listen to, just my brain filling in that emptyness with all kinds of shit I didn't want to face.

Also, how did you quit in the end, anyway, footscrazy? What's the magic solution?

I find this question a hard one to answer because it was the culmination of a lot of things and many attempts but also because I often wonder the same shit myself, and am surprised I managed to make it stick this time.

I just remember thinking that there was nothing new for me to experience in the meth life, that I'd got all I could out of it and if I continued my life had already reached its peak - that it might not always be bad but that I could predict how it would go for the rest of my life. I wanted something different. The cravings were also unbearable - I just hate that feeling more than I can say.

There wasn't any one thing that helped me quit - I think it was just a process of trying again and again, and trying to learn something from each previous attempt, until it finally stuck. I would get so discouraged by failing again and again, but I think any attempt to quit or cut down is valuable. It gives you an opportunity to become familiar with the process of coming off and really examine what thought processes and behaviours lead you back again.

For a long time I thought the reason I couldn't stay off was that I hadn't hit 'rock bottom' - and that I needed a moment where I'd stooped so low or the consequences had got so bad that there would no longer be any doubt in my mind that I needed to quit. I sought that 'epiphany' for a long time - waiting for something to happen that would change my mindstate and convince me never to pick up again and make the choice easy. I know now though that by waiting for that - wanting something external to happen that would force my hand - I was looking for an excuse, and looking to avoid making the decision myself.

One thing that helped me was accepting that I would never be 100% sure I wanted to quit using forever. I think anyone who has had problematic use will retain a part of themselves that just wants to get high. You can be 99% sure you want to stop, but the problem with trying to convince yourself not to use when a craving hits by arguing the pros and cons, is that the 'addict' part of your brain will grab onto that 1% uncertainty and build it and build it until you're on the way to the atm and calling your dealer. So I spent some time really going into the pros and cons of using, writing out all the reasons I wanted to stop and so on, so when a craving hit, and I started going back and forth with the should I? shouldn't I? shit, I could just say to myself, stop. I've already gone through this, I've made my decision, so I don't need to do it again.

Mindfullness was probably the one thing that helped the most, not just with addiction but with life in general. I can't recommend anything more strongly than learning about it, maybe finding some guided audio tracks online and starting to practice this. Mindfullness is simple, it's just about fully being in the present - focusing your attention what you can see, hear, feel, and so on, right now. When unbearable cravings would hit, mindfullness helped me accept the thoughts were there, but realise that I wasn't obliged to do anything about them. The anxiety that comes along with cravings by its very nature makes you think that you need to pay them attention right away, but being mindful made me realise that craving and being anxious didn't make the thoughts true.

It's a tough one though. Methamphetamine just seems like it's perfectly designed to hijack your mind and make you think that a life without it is no life at all. It's not true, though. I think that anyone can quit, and the horror stories which proclaim such low percentages of successful quitters are just that, scare stories. Quitting to me felt a bit like closing my eyes and stepping off a high board - it's scary as fuck and you don't know what it'll be like and you can't predict how you'll feel, but you just have to do it and have faith that you're making the right decision.

 

[spacejunk]

^ so eloquently put.
There is no magic solution; just determination, persistence and everything footscrazy says above.
I stopped taking meth a long time ago, so I cannot recall the circumstances exactly.

But I do remember very clearly the appreciation I began to develop (after the first couple of antsy weekends without it - I never got drawn in to regular daily use, thankfully) in the activities that quitting the meth cycle allowed me to do.

Rather than anxiously hooking up some gear, getting on, having that first pleasurable few hours - then chasing that feeling further into scattered, paranoid regret off into the sunrise (typically on weekends) and then dragging myself through the next few days of come-down and sleep deprived energy depletion - I realised that I had weekends again.
Going to work or uni early the next week without feeling like I'd been beaten up was quite the revelation!

More than that, I could do stuff on Sundays; things that didnt involve compulsive repetitive tasks, or desperately trying to delay the inevitable crash.
For a change, I had free time in which I wasn't a pallid, saucer-eyed write-off. I could use that time for anything I wanted to - I wasn't to fucked to interact with people, and I didnt have to constantly hide from bright light.

If I was tired after a long week/day etc - I could relax.

This may be the most simplistic thing anyone could ever point out about the road to recovery from habitual meth use, but it is one of the things that sticks in my mind, and helped keep me away from the stuff.
Obviously this is of little use to serious methamphetamine enthusiasts - I never really had 'rules' about not using on weeknight a or whatever, but a combination of circumstances (social, financial etc) meant that I generally got high on weekends.

The initial desire to stop using is pretty much perfectly summed up by this;

I just remember thinking that there was nothing new for me to experience in the meth life, that I'd got all I could out of it and if I continued my life had already reached its peak - that it might not always be bad but that I could predict how it would go for the rest of my life. I wanted something different. The cravings were also unbearable - I just hate that feeling more than I can say.

I can totally relate.
I remember the feelings of guilt that would arise as I heard my neighbours in surrounding apartments getting up, the sound of breakfasts being made, of people setting out to enjoy weekend activities as I scraped the last remnants out of the corner of a baggie and into that bloody pipe.
It was nearly 10 years ago, but I consciously held on to these memories to serve as a reminder that what goes up, must come down. I don't really miss the first - enjoyable - bit, because I made a real effort to remember how drawn out the shitty feeling was.
Like a mindless mindfulness

I wish anyone reading this and trying to find whatever it takes to quit or reduce your meth use all the best.

Everyone is different in terms of how hard (or easy) that process is - and there are so many factors that can influence if - but ultimately it is worth it. I don't think there are any benefits whatsoever to longterm use of methamphetamine.

 

[ashstorm]

I'm sure you'd be able to find some information in the meth/iv mega thread in the other drugs forum.

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/519111-Methamphetamine-Info-amp-IV-Megathread

 

[doofqueen]

^^^ That was an awesome read.

How do you know if your gear is cut with the junk stuff when it looks just like the gear? If you recently have been iving and the next lot you have you smoke its not going to feel as strong anyway right? Or it should still "work" the same unless its been cut with something it shouldnt be cut with?

 

[ashstorm]

It should still work. Dose may need to be increased due to tolerance though

 

[doofqueen]

How do you know if its cut with junk though?

 

[ashstorm]

You could do an acetone wash to take out the cut..?

 

[the_ketaman]

Im confused atm too. I just got a point off the 'good' dealer round here and usually half a point IV gets me flying straight off the bat especially if I haven't used in a month or two like now(well a few weeks ) and I ended up having the point in 2 shots, the 1st made me spew but didnt deliver(?) And the second just helped the first along. No big rush and strong high like im used to. The stuff didn't look particularly different.

In response to doofqueen. The only thing I can offer here is that ive usually had better luck with big shards rather than bags with tons of shake. These days with the amount of different cuts I think testing it is the only way us non-scientific folk can find out how it is.

People reckon they can tell by taste, the way it cracks back(how the lines in the puddle reform after a smoke), even some bullshitters reckon they can tell just from looking at the product but they cant or they just think they can. The only way to tell for us is to put a rock in the pipe/spoon.

I know the stuff I had was different to normal thats for sure. And theres a cut that makes me vomit coz I had a shot of sydney gear and it wasnt as strong as this and didnt make me spew either.

 

[the_ketaman]

Monitor your heart rate (easiest way to do this is count your pulse for 20 or 30 seconds, and multiplying that by 2 or 3 respectively) if it is erratic or strenuously abnormal you're now taking a risk (tightness in the chest is also obvious, but I will say it anyway), blood pressure, rate of breathing (>25 breathes a minute is bad.)

When I was doing my nursing certificate we were told to always time for a minute rather than less and then multiplying as it can change or be irregular very quickly.

And for Doofqueen
Theres no one dose thats right for everyone and everyone handles differently. I wouldnt go more than 3-5 points in 24hrs but if its really good that could go down to 1-2 points or if its crap up to a gram. Its different for everyone. A good sign that ive had too much is if I get bad heart palpitations, a tight chest, blurry vision, profuse sweating and/or a general feeling of too much, too fast!

 

[smokedup]

This artificial craving/anxiety pattern was well put footscrazy. Although i would also add that there is a sense of satisfaction after that plunge into the deep end( maybe months after) that you ARE beating this insidious drug. Thats what has kept me going, because most people have been fed that bullshit that you simply cant quit and you WILL relapse.

The satisfaction that you enjoyed those heights(and they were immense) and now can turn your back on it and move on is what should keep you going.

 

[effectandcause]

I hear ya there mate, apart from keeping up the fluids etc ive found that those magnesium tabs that dissolve in water like berocca does is a miracle pick me up after a Cpl days. nearly instant loss of muscle aches/pains and a good cure for "crack back"

 

[the_ketaman]

I'm lucky I guess that I've never had a full on habit. It got me in enough trouble binging for 1-3 nights every 1-3 weeks. I used daily and slept every few days and just got arrested heaps and went nuts for 3 weeks landing in the psych ward eventually after threatening mine and others lives. I don't know how people manage to stay sane doing what I did for years. And I don't like to think that I'm weak minded.

I've used heroin daily for much longer than 3 weeks and the wds are brutal. But I'd say I've only had comedowns & cravings from meth. Not a withdrawal. Still meth has brought a lot of trouble to my life.

 

[effectandcause]

I had more problems in 2 yrs of meth addiction than I had in 11 years of opiate addiction. Its an easy way to fuck your life really quickly. I can binge occasionally now, I shudder at the thought of using daily again

 

[Docta]

Doing The Acetone Wash

You could do an acetone wash to take out the cut..?

Be careful when doing an Acetone wash because not all Acetone is the same they often contain large amounts of water and other organic chemicals that may contain isomers or intermediates not isolated during manufacture. Meth can be lost to water or unexpected reactions with pollutants present in the so called pure Acetone.

A lot of bull shit un-accredited terms are used for marketing to imply the solvent has been manufactured to the kind of industry standards expected from suppliers to labs or pharmaceutics. The Acetone made up for the cosmetic nails industry uses product names "Pure Acetone" or "100% Acetone" to give the impression of high quality but nothing could be future from the truth.

Look at this image of two different brands of Acetone: 1 from a hardware store. 1 from a local pharmacy, not the nail polish remover. You need to ask the pharmacist for it.

1 Liter can of 100% Acetone by RECOCHEM of Queensland a reputable quality manufacturer of solvents sold throughout Australia, but they are not an ACS accredited reagent manufacturer and are not compelled to record or submit product specifications, analysis and documentation following ISO 9001/2000 that covers the supply and sale of basic consumer commercial quality chemicals. It's only when you get on the phone to customer service that you find out it has a chemical grading of "Practical" an industrial grade ≥95% with a water content not less then 3%. RECOCHEM's Pure Acetone as sold to the cosmetic nails industry is the same stuff in a smaller container.

The small 100mL bottle of Acetone (Technical) is by Biotech Pharmaceuticals a American Chemical Society (ACS) accredited reagent manufacturer ISO 9001:2008 Certificate of Analysis on demand. A simple email to Biotech Pharma stating the batch code was replied to within an hour. Chemical grading: Mallinckrodt AR grade analytical reagent, ACS reagent, ≥99.5% with ≤0.5% water. Better to spend $15 on 100mL then $20 on liter that will need drying with a desiccant before it can be used.

A gram to be cleaned smells like a meth lab and looks a little greasy and yellowish. Has that dirty taste when smoked.

In it goes into a bottle where its smashed up a bit with a glass stirring rod.

A good slosh around before it and the bottle of Acetone are popped in the freezer.

After pouring the meth/acetone from the bottle into a coffee filter the small wash bottle needs a rinse to get the last of the crystal out. The AR reagent grade Acetone has been exposed to the air meaning it's not AR reagent grade Acetone any more so to remove any water it may have picked up the funnel is set up as a desiccator. Pink cotton wool is stuffed down the neck then a small amount of powdered silica gel is placed in the funnel to sit atop the cotton wool. The small quantity of silica gel absorbs moisture very well leaving little chance of meth being lost to the Acetone.

Put aside to dry.

Done with care and very pure Acetone there is hardly any loss other then cuts and chemical trash.

Came out sparkling clean with no smell. Smoked up in the way you expect good meth to.

In the end well worth the time and effort.

 

[curious-kitty]

my hunger levels fluctuated when using for the first time. when I first started I wouldn't eat hardly anything... besides a v8 tropical juice and a classic choc milk an a pack of two min noodles or some continental noodles...maybe every 2 days when I was binging. This habbit ended up making me lose a crazy amount of weight .I went frm pre use 62 kilos to post use 34 kilos(hospitalised for the start of renal failure)... than I quit for about 2 & a half years gained weight back up to 68 kilos. started to use again but not heavily after2 an a half years of sobriety ... As well as I was looking after myself eating healthily, exercising, & not using to an excess or at crazy obsessive levels (was using like this for about 4 years) while maintaining my weight at 63 kilos. But I found during this time I wanted to eat unlike when I first started I hated eating while using.

 

[curious-kitty]

speed isn't ice ice is not speed

both are made completely different.
speed you get a dead ant taste in the back of your throat and not as much of a euphorical feeling as ice .
ice is more euphorical feeling tingles lil bit of houghing ... some speed users don't like ice because there is no taste when you use.

 

[curious-kitty]

awesome movie LIMITLESS...