Congrats to you elmer, its a huge deal to realize when you've got a big problem, and then to tell the people you've tried so hard to hide it from. It takes some fucking courage, but so does cold turkey, just from my own experience, cold turkey might solve the problem for a month, a year maybe, but that craving always seems to come right back after I'd feel "normal" for a few weeks, I'd always rationalize that I could do it once or twice, and the withdrawl won't be shit. Of course when that one or two times turns to one or two months, your basically right back in the same boat you just got out of. I've been on methadone for almost 2 years now, started weaning off about a month ago, 3mgs a week, and I'm feeling great for the most part, just those nights when I feel it starting to wear off a little more, especially if I'd been doing a lot of physical activity (sweating) that day. Coming down off methadone cold turkey is hell, but with the appropriate medical advise from the clinic docs, its really nothin much, just takes a while. It took me countless tries at cold turkey before finally going to the clinic, and while yes, it can be depressing, and there's always those fucking fiends running for the door and flying through cars just to get there first, your there to BETTER yourself, and that's all that really matters. Most of the counselors and nurses that work at those places are generally so so nice too, and many have gone through the same physical addiction. Sorry to be so long-winded, but I really think methadone is the best choice, and subox being a very close second. I like that md gives you a short buzz, at least for me til I started dropping down. I feel like that's almost necessary in the beginning, just so you don't have the mental craving, especially at night, that's when it was always the worst for me, but I always had my dose to look forward to, or get me through. But yeah, congratulations again man, its a big step forward in your life, and I truly hope it all works out for you. Just don't rule out the complicated stuff just cause its complicated, big problems take hard work, and even if you gotta go to meetings once a week or every day of the week, it'll always be better than being where you were at, and in the end you'll feel so much better.
