STLcardinals2
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2014
- Messages
- 44
First of all, I saw it said dont post something in another thread and then post it here also. BUT I didnt know about the homeless section until I posted it elsewhere, so disregard or get rid of the other and keep this one Mods?
Second of all, can a Mod please move me to appropriate thread? I cant post in other drugs bc mobile BL doesnt give me prefix option. Thanks.
I want to start this post with this. I love the headrush, chills then sweats,
dizzy, europhic, energy raising, heart thumpin, "I must sit down or I will fall", warming me up, foggy brain, cross eyed enjoyment and feelings of a meth IV rush. I also enjoy the cant stop moving, followed by not being able to move, full energy, spaz, thought provoking, on point, mesmerizing, I could write a novel, talk your ear off, dance crazy (with plenty of H2O), sex enhancing (oh boy is this true), kinds of high that is methamphetamine. With that being said, I know the dangers, fears, paranoia, jail, institutions, death, family crushing, work firing, substance abuse that comes with that b*tch Tina. So I dont post this for "Maybe you should put the needle down, quit using, take a break" type of responses. Save it for someone who needs it. I get that its bad and I know im in a downward spiral that I can only hope to come out of alive. FYI, I am speeding as I write this, and that is why this post will probably be too long to read. Now, lets begin.
I have IV'd meth, which I will refer to as Tina, for about 6 months heavily. At first my doses were low, .1 most if the time, now im .3 or .4 or bust. Also when I first started, I had very little paranoia and it was the ride of
my life. Nowadays, I basically spend half my high window peeping, and the other half thinking I need to be or should bewindow peeping. So first off, I would like to know if anyone has found an effective way to stop this practice. I understand its the meth and I should just get off it, so dont give me any of that please.
A little background, I am married and the wife has NO clue I use anything. I have a EPIC "running regime" that has allowed me to lose all this weight. (This is comical at how far fetched it is, but how well its worked). I cant honestly rememver the last time I ran. I was at 205 when I started my IV use, I am currently 183 lbs. Sad but thats Tina for you. I was a herion IV user for 3 years and detoxed on my own. Was clean for 3 years. Now my DOC is Ms. Tina.
So back to window peeping, this phenoma is kind of a love/hate relationship for me. I actually enjoy being "stuck", laying on my bed peering through the blinds at all different angles at cars driving by. The wife doesnt know about my use, my ONLY fear is her finding out. It scares me down to my bones honestly bc she is a good woman and I do truely care about her. Anyway, I have never worried or thought that cops were after me. Other than the occasional, "I dont want to get pulled over on my way home with my sack, cops rarely enter my mind. From what I read, cops are most peoples issue when it comes to window peeking, and thats why I included that. I buy Tina in bulk so I make very liftle runs to my dealer. I have a job and take all the precautions that I can. So im not your usual, "maybe the pigs put a camera in my mailbox" type of tweaker. Also to note, I use probably 4 to 5 times a week, BUT i sleep every night, rarely re-dose, eat at least 2 meals a day with a protein shake in the middle and take my vitamens. I brush my teeth regularly, shower twice a day, and I dont tweak when I have actual shit to do. I hold a job (which I will be honest I am sometimes late to but as a fan of Tina, you just cant get going fast enough sometimes) I am a functioning Tina abuser (this is a joke because functioning normally with my fav bitch Tina is impossible) But I would say I am as close as possible to using responsibly.
Back to the window peeping. The only thing I am ever looking out that godforsaken window for is my wife car. I will peek out that window for the wind blowing, a leaf moving, a random car driveing 3 miles away, a neighbor steping outside for a smoke, or the auditory hallucinations kicking in (hearing cars that arent really there) Auditory hallucinations aren't super scary, but man they can fu*k with your mind, its seriously my least favorite part of Tina) These sounds dont just make me want me to check outside and make sure the wifes not there, no that would be too easy. Those sounds are like a calling card to anxiety, fear, "flight" mentality, and they accomplish this shit storm with ease. To say I freak out when any car drives by is an extreme understatement. Now I realize that Tina gives you the "fight or flight" chemical to the max, but there has to be a way for you to think reasonably on Tina. Shes strong, but the mind is in charge. I have tried to tell myself to really think logically when the urge to listen for cars is gripping. This will work for literally 30 seconds, enough for me to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, hear another breeze or some vehicle driving 3 blocks down from me, causing me to sprint back to the window and the cycle continues.
I have also read that people set alarms for themselves when on Tina. This works great for me when it comes to alarms like, "Drink Protein @ 2" and "Take sip of water every 10 mins". BUT, when I set an alarm for "Shower at 3 pm" or "Leave for work @10", it turns into freakout mode and window peep in case the wife comes home during my shower. Each time this happens, I end up window peeping for minimum of 30 mins and has been as long as a damn hour haha (pathetic I know). I ALWAYS think, "Damn, if I had just gone and taken the shower when I set the alarm I would have been done 45 mins ago and wouldnt be stressed." But, this never works if I think that at the beginning of a window peeping session.
Like I said before, I occasionally this "stuck" state at times with Tina. It is really funny/fun to be tweaking, sweating, twitching, all while thinking I am doing everything I can to keep myself safe, but knowing im literally staring out my window. But realistically, this is just a buzz kill, a waste of time, and a damn mind fuck when nothing I try works at all. I have even tried to write a note to myself sober, to read when I am high af. I read the note, and it completed backfired. Instead, I worried about the wife seeing the note, then preceeded to find a nice soda can (at the bottom of the trash of course) put the note in the can and watered it down. Because as all tweakers know, its totally logical for regular, non-meth using people to search your trash and all kinds of random places that you seem to constantly search through. The real tweakers reading this thread will know exactly what I am talking about.
Again, back to windows, Its definatly a positive that I dont freak out about cops, but a wife can put more fear in you than anyone else on the planet. Seeing that Blue Chevy Equinox is a real life nightmare while im fixing up a point, beating off, or in an utter state of "I cant hold a conversation bc I am trying to speak unbelievably too fast and it sounds like jibberish." Usually after 4-6 hours (depending on dosage and qualify of Tina) I can act totally fine around the wife. Within an hour or two of a shot I would get caught without a doubt. Dont even get me started on how I would try and explain my actions during or minutes after a good IV rush. I just need some help on anything people have found to help. I dont carpet search at all, and never have, but I hear it is very similar to window peeping but with a different purpose. Repetitive, excruciating, pointless, tiring, and worst of all a F*%king waste of time. So maybe if you found a way to not carpet search then let me know that also. I thought when my window peeking paranoia first started, that after enough practice, I would be able to find a way to counteract it and move on for the benefit of my high. On the contrary, the window peeping only gets more intense, more paranoia, the amount of times I do it get longer, and the stress gets a lot worse. It also causes me to be more late to getting things done than I would like.
After reading this I would figure this kid is losing it, and possibly true. But dont think for a second I dont enjoy my high. I definately know how to handle myself, enjoy my buzz, get the most out of it, and love my Tina. I made window peeking seem like thats all I do and thats not true, so dont get the wrong idea.
Ok this rant is getting stupid long, and I am sorry but I will attempt to wrap it up. (I am on day 5 [with sleep] of a binge as we speak) Obviously Tina is the problem, so dont bring that up please.
The point of this threas is to start up a conversation about window peeking, paranoia, overcoming both, tips, tricks, carpet surfing or anything relating to these? Does anyone have any good window peeping stories? (Can be humerous, scary, whatever) Has anyone ever been window peeking and actually got caught somehow doing it? Any examples of overcoming all odds and getting out of your own head and paranoia? Anyone know alternative ways of thinking about these topics? Any way that you can "manage" a window peeking problem? Please dont share any "shadow people" stories. I have never experienced anything like that and dont want to (probably dont experience that bc I sleep every night). But anyone have a solution for getting "unstuck" or being able to move on from a hard dose of paranoia while on Tina? I could talk all day about this topic but I will end it here.
Please remember fellow IV Tina aka Shard aka Meth aka Glass aka Ice lovers... Shard>Shake and DONT MISS YOUR SHOT.
Second of all, can a Mod please move me to appropriate thread? I cant post in other drugs bc mobile BL doesnt give me prefix option. Thanks.
I want to start this post with this. I love the headrush, chills then sweats,
dizzy, europhic, energy raising, heart thumpin, "I must sit down or I will fall", warming me up, foggy brain, cross eyed enjoyment and feelings of a meth IV rush. I also enjoy the cant stop moving, followed by not being able to move, full energy, spaz, thought provoking, on point, mesmerizing, I could write a novel, talk your ear off, dance crazy (with plenty of H2O), sex enhancing (oh boy is this true), kinds of high that is methamphetamine. With that being said, I know the dangers, fears, paranoia, jail, institutions, death, family crushing, work firing, substance abuse that comes with that b*tch Tina. So I dont post this for "Maybe you should put the needle down, quit using, take a break" type of responses. Save it for someone who needs it. I get that its bad and I know im in a downward spiral that I can only hope to come out of alive. FYI, I am speeding as I write this, and that is why this post will probably be too long to read. Now, lets begin.
I have IV'd meth, which I will refer to as Tina, for about 6 months heavily. At first my doses were low, .1 most if the time, now im .3 or .4 or bust. Also when I first started, I had very little paranoia and it was the ride of
my life. Nowadays, I basically spend half my high window peeping, and the other half thinking I need to be or should bewindow peeping. So first off, I would like to know if anyone has found an effective way to stop this practice. I understand its the meth and I should just get off it, so dont give me any of that please.
A little background, I am married and the wife has NO clue I use anything. I have a EPIC "running regime" that has allowed me to lose all this weight. (This is comical at how far fetched it is, but how well its worked). I cant honestly rememver the last time I ran. I was at 205 when I started my IV use, I am currently 183 lbs. Sad but thats Tina for you. I was a herion IV user for 3 years and detoxed on my own. Was clean for 3 years. Now my DOC is Ms. Tina.
So back to window peeping, this phenoma is kind of a love/hate relationship for me. I actually enjoy being "stuck", laying on my bed peering through the blinds at all different angles at cars driving by. The wife doesnt know about my use, my ONLY fear is her finding out. It scares me down to my bones honestly bc she is a good woman and I do truely care about her. Anyway, I have never worried or thought that cops were after me. Other than the occasional, "I dont want to get pulled over on my way home with my sack, cops rarely enter my mind. From what I read, cops are most peoples issue when it comes to window peeking, and thats why I included that. I buy Tina in bulk so I make very liftle runs to my dealer. I have a job and take all the precautions that I can. So im not your usual, "maybe the pigs put a camera in my mailbox" type of tweaker. Also to note, I use probably 4 to 5 times a week, BUT i sleep every night, rarely re-dose, eat at least 2 meals a day with a protein shake in the middle and take my vitamens. I brush my teeth regularly, shower twice a day, and I dont tweak when I have actual shit to do. I hold a job (which I will be honest I am sometimes late to but as a fan of Tina, you just cant get going fast enough sometimes) I am a functioning Tina abuser (this is a joke because functioning normally with my fav bitch Tina is impossible) But I would say I am as close as possible to using responsibly.
Back to the window peeping. The only thing I am ever looking out that godforsaken window for is my wife car. I will peek out that window for the wind blowing, a leaf moving, a random car driveing 3 miles away, a neighbor steping outside for a smoke, or the auditory hallucinations kicking in (hearing cars that arent really there) Auditory hallucinations aren't super scary, but man they can fu*k with your mind, its seriously my least favorite part of Tina) These sounds dont just make me want me to check outside and make sure the wifes not there, no that would be too easy. Those sounds are like a calling card to anxiety, fear, "flight" mentality, and they accomplish this shit storm with ease. To say I freak out when any car drives by is an extreme understatement. Now I realize that Tina gives you the "fight or flight" chemical to the max, but there has to be a way for you to think reasonably on Tina. Shes strong, but the mind is in charge. I have tried to tell myself to really think logically when the urge to listen for cars is gripping. This will work for literally 30 seconds, enough for me to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, hear another breeze or some vehicle driving 3 blocks down from me, causing me to sprint back to the window and the cycle continues.
I have also read that people set alarms for themselves when on Tina. This works great for me when it comes to alarms like, "Drink Protein @ 2" and "Take sip of water every 10 mins". BUT, when I set an alarm for "Shower at 3 pm" or "Leave for work @10", it turns into freakout mode and window peep in case the wife comes home during my shower. Each time this happens, I end up window peeping for minimum of 30 mins and has been as long as a damn hour haha (pathetic I know). I ALWAYS think, "Damn, if I had just gone and taken the shower when I set the alarm I would have been done 45 mins ago and wouldnt be stressed." But, this never works if I think that at the beginning of a window peeping session.
Like I said before, I occasionally this "stuck" state at times with Tina. It is really funny/fun to be tweaking, sweating, twitching, all while thinking I am doing everything I can to keep myself safe, but knowing im literally staring out my window. But realistically, this is just a buzz kill, a waste of time, and a damn mind fuck when nothing I try works at all. I have even tried to write a note to myself sober, to read when I am high af. I read the note, and it completed backfired. Instead, I worried about the wife seeing the note, then preceeded to find a nice soda can (at the bottom of the trash of course) put the note in the can and watered it down. Because as all tweakers know, its totally logical for regular, non-meth using people to search your trash and all kinds of random places that you seem to constantly search through. The real tweakers reading this thread will know exactly what I am talking about.
Again, back to windows, Its definatly a positive that I dont freak out about cops, but a wife can put more fear in you than anyone else on the planet. Seeing that Blue Chevy Equinox is a real life nightmare while im fixing up a point, beating off, or in an utter state of "I cant hold a conversation bc I am trying to speak unbelievably too fast and it sounds like jibberish." Usually after 4-6 hours (depending on dosage and qualify of Tina) I can act totally fine around the wife. Within an hour or two of a shot I would get caught without a doubt. Dont even get me started on how I would try and explain my actions during or minutes after a good IV rush. I just need some help on anything people have found to help. I dont carpet search at all, and never have, but I hear it is very similar to window peeping but with a different purpose. Repetitive, excruciating, pointless, tiring, and worst of all a F*%king waste of time. So maybe if you found a way to not carpet search then let me know that also. I thought when my window peeking paranoia first started, that after enough practice, I would be able to find a way to counteract it and move on for the benefit of my high. On the contrary, the window peeping only gets more intense, more paranoia, the amount of times I do it get longer, and the stress gets a lot worse. It also causes me to be more late to getting things done than I would like.
After reading this I would figure this kid is losing it, and possibly true. But dont think for a second I dont enjoy my high. I definately know how to handle myself, enjoy my buzz, get the most out of it, and love my Tina. I made window peeking seem like thats all I do and thats not true, so dont get the wrong idea.
Ok this rant is getting stupid long, and I am sorry but I will attempt to wrap it up. (I am on day 5 [with sleep] of a binge as we speak) Obviously Tina is the problem, so dont bring that up please.
The point of this threas is to start up a conversation about window peeking, paranoia, overcoming both, tips, tricks, carpet surfing or anything relating to these? Does anyone have any good window peeping stories? (Can be humerous, scary, whatever) Has anyone ever been window peeking and actually got caught somehow doing it? Any examples of overcoming all odds and getting out of your own head and paranoia? Anyone know alternative ways of thinking about these topics? Any way that you can "manage" a window peeking problem? Please dont share any "shadow people" stories. I have never experienced anything like that and dont want to (probably dont experience that bc I sleep every night). But anyone have a solution for getting "unstuck" or being able to move on from a hard dose of paranoia while on Tina? I could talk all day about this topic but I will end it here.
Please remember fellow IV Tina aka Shard aka Meth aka Glass aka Ice lovers... Shard>Shake and DONT MISS YOUR SHOT.
