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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Meth Paranoia

^. this. In fact i wouldnt touch the shit if i had to edure that again, its not worth it, honestly.

Once i forgot my Seroquel on a day 4 binge and passed out from drinking instead and was woken up by parents because i was flaying around in the bed while asleep, like jerking around badly constantly for some reason, siezure maybe but it was for a while, like muscle jerks or something. Still not sure what causes that but I had the same uncontroled body jerks when i tried herion once for a comedown. It felt like my arms would not move in the way they where intended to and would act strangely and jerk around.
 
Woow that sounds scary as shit, I wonder if its from all the amphetamines making you all amped up still while the Seroquel is trying to force to you to sleep at the same time??

Other than that though can't say I've experienced anything negative while using downers to combat my comedowns. For me its like opiates (heroin, hydrocodone etc) just take away my amp feelings completely when I dose. I feel totally at baseline sober its so comfortable I can't explain haha.
 
^ Just to clarify thats what would happen if i never took the seroquel. With the AS all the nasty things are blocked and i feel fine. Only if i progress through a comedown without the AS does it happen. What i considered was that parkinsons is dopamine related so a similar effect could be caused temporarily from dopamine abuse through meth use.
 
Ya I remember this dude that just got out of prison and his dad owned a little home so that he could stay there and get back on his feet....Well not long after he got out he started smoking ICE and he was constantly looking out the windows thru the blinds to see if his dad would pull up and I was like this guy is a tweaker.....I never got like that but when my full blown psychosis happened the only people I was hanging around where dealers and my ex.....Bad place to be when you go psychotic because they where of no help. Actually made me a lot worse since they looked like death I thought they where all cannibals.....Most the time when someone has a breakdown a family member gets concerned and gets them to the psych ward......Well my so called friends would just keep putting drugs in front of my face and soon enough I snapped so bad that I went to jail four times in a row and the last time I stayed in jail for two months just rotting away....Since I was afraid to speak to anyone I couldn't even see an attorney or have a advocate to speak on my behalf because I was so caught up in the confusion.
 
Wow thats hectic.\ Bad friends, but i can see the tweaker logic. Starting to feel wierd, fucked up or shit, just smoke more! Works maybe for comedowns but not for doses that are to high already. Just snort, so much more reliable and never results in mental issues or paranoia for me.
 
I've learned to come to terms with that as well^^

I will still get paranoid if I stay up by snorting 3-5 days but nowhere near as bad vs when I use to smoke compulsively. Comedown is so much smoother and gradual vs smoking where it smacks you like a freight train all at once at least in my experience. I get a good high after about 3-4 lines and just let it ride out (occasionally Ill redose on the 2nd day) but yeah the comedown being so slow (still irritating but not as bad) is what made me start snorting as my normal ROA for dope.

I feel in a way it may save your mental well being & you still get the same potent dope high. Maybe not as good of a rush but I feel its overall more suited vs any other ROA out there.
 
^ Yep my first time doing meth was like 500g crystal in 4 hours thinking it was shitty coke. I then lay in bed for the expected comedown period and instead if kicked in much later due to the duration, and it was a panic attack nightmare, like all those physical symptoms like not being able to breath or get enough air and basically feel like you are dying from some physical cause. Thats prob what its like smoking a 4 day binge with 1g spread out is nowhere near as bad as that was.

The problem with anxiety and panic symptoms is that they are inherently confusing and therefore causing more anxiety over what is going on.
Always a struggle to determine if something is real or simply anxiety

I was thinking, does getting paranoid on meth about getting possibly getting meth paranoia later, count as meth paranoia?
 
I get that rush gasping for air sensation when I smoke really good shit. I like it oddly, cause it let's me know I got potent dope not saying it can't cause you to hyperventilate but for me it always subsided around 5-10mins.

I never really have done ENOUGH dope to feel bad physical effects from it until I. ODd last year almost going into Cardiac lol but that's another story. Other than one time its only binging myself into psychosis from sleep dep that really gets me fucked up personally.
 
Yeah that anxiety response seems to make no sense and be counter productive for how go about creating SNS stimulation, but it makes good sense in terms of fight or flight response, fear and adrenaline for fleeing motivation, sense of lack of air and heavier breathing for increased airflow for increased activity in those situations. Loosened bowels because eating something you are chasing that is shitting itself is not ideal to preditors. Hypervigilance and that general fear or everything or minitoring everything around you for risks would also help in a dangerous situation for quickly assessing the situation and any risks.

Its just not supposed to be something experienced in normal current life. The ideal danger programmng then makes normal situations more risky and worse.
 
I use to love snorting! That was my favorite ROA. Nothing beats a great line of dope that hits you like there's no tomorrow. That great burn, the teary eye. But snorting to much has ate away the inside of my nose to the point that i now have a hole inside my nose that goes from one nostril to the other. My septum is small, skinny, flexible and weak. I can't get high no more. But oh well :/
 
I think I'm heading down that road to lol^ I get horrible nose bleeds every time I snort now.

Question since I don't normally do this,

Igot some dope today & I snorted a little line just to get some motivation to do things around the house, now I didn't get SPUN (wasn't trying to right now) but I got some energy etc. So my dopamine didn't flood or run out yet obviously but later tonight when I do my normal 4-5 lines to get really lifted,, it'll still get me fully spun tonight right? My dopamines not depleted or anything?

The euphoria I got was real light, just a speed boost I guess like bare minimum to feel it you could say.

I haven't done any in a week or have done any drug aside from a little 3 grams of kratom 2 days ago.
 
No it should be all good bro! If you've been sober for more than three days you're going to get really lit! So you should take full advantage of that! Me on the second day the dope won't hit me as hard as the first day. Even with sleep, food or the fact that I only smoked a bowl. But we're all wired differently I guess. Plus I got ADHD. Anyways how did it go bro?
 
I love my dope as much as the next addict but I fucking swear...EVERY TIMEI get Spun I sit on my pphone and write lyrics like I sit there and tweak out on spelling grammar etc for 9-10hours. Literally every time I get Spun now I always tell myself I'm gonna do something else and not waste time. I mean I love writing lyrics but I'll spend hours on one line and not even realize it lmao. Past couple months with this shit I always get STUCK I feel amazing when I'm high don't get my wrong but I literally stay in one spot the WHOLE night and write lyrics basically till my highs over, it's so annoying when I could of been on BL or something but I literally have to CORRECT EVERY LINE before I finish lol its Ridiculous... but anyway it was good, what about you?
 
Dude you just described what
I do!!! Haha. What a coincidence. Yeah ill be like im going to try to do something productive with my high but ill always end up just laying or sitting down writing poems & songs! My high is always better when i'm doing something productive. When i started snorting dope little bumps use to get me feeling kinda lit. Then as time passed i needed more to get lit, have you noticed this too? I got to the point were a huge line would just give me this out of this type of weird feeling. Idk i can't explain it. You should try to avoid it haha. Cause your nose will be damaged severely. Like if im running and breathing through my nose, it'll start to ache and burn and i'll get a headache. My nose looks skinnier and a bit differently. Also my nose is really dry and hallow. The weird thing is that it makes random popping noises! Haha but yeah.
 
I'm feeling pretty happy right now I haveno mmore dope but I'm still kind of high and the comedowns real slow this time I'm loving.it haha. Yeah man back in the day when I used to stay up Inhuman amounts Id be with people and wed just talk and listen to music, now there's times where I go to restroom at 4am to actually TAKE a piss and I'll be tweaking on a lyric, one time I stayed in the restroom got 5 hours writing standing up by the sink n didn't even realize it lmao its ridiculous. Dope has made me very anti social I will say that.

I'm fiending now but comedowns slow, wish I didn't kill my oz of kratom in 2 days it'd help right now lol.

Yeah you should snort man or maybe try oral comedowns so gradual, I love smoking thats how I started but if I don't have opiates with me I can't do it comedowns so harsh.. plus recently when I've smoked in the past year if its REALLY good shit my hearts starts quivering its really scary. I think its from my Crystal OD I had 2 years ago, almost went into cardiac arrest doctors told me so smoking doesn't work for me. I have still have nightmares of that day easily the most traumatic experience I've ever had in my life 9day sleep derived psychosis/OD isn't pretty man...HORRIBLE shit got so paranoid In public I actually had full blown visuals of swat teams in front of me so I ate my 3 GRAMS and when it kicked in.....OH MY GODI seriously almost died shit was crazy heart got up to 185 in ICU...ccrazy shit
 
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Haha damn 3 grams that's too much bro! And man I use to do that too. When I started using I was the youngest one out of every one and we use to kick it and just pass the pipe around with the radio on. And sometimes one of the other smokers would start talking about their past nonstop for hours. Haha we seem alike in some ways! But doing that much and no sleep is bad man! Have you lost a lot of weight?
 
Back then yeah like 2 years ago I was heavily addicted used everyday. Now I still consider myself an addict but the max I'll stay up is 3 days cause I'm very prone to psychosis but I take breaks now n I don't lose much weight aside from like a 2 day binge but I'll gain it all back the next day pretty much. I use maybe 2-3x every 2 weeks when I don't have $ but when I do like when I get my taxes this Friday I probably use couple times a week.

But yeah when I first got in the dope game 3 years ago I lost about 25 pounds in 3 weeks it was bad. Face all sucked up always in psychosis blood clots in my arms etc
 
The thing with me is.......If I was to do it again my conscience would kill me.......I have been without meth since 06 I tried it once in 08 and the urge to try again pulled at me so hard but I resisted....When I did it I looked at my roommate and it looked like his eyes had no pupils or iris or anything. Just a white eyeball. I wept it the shower regretting I had ever done it.......Soon after about three months I had a massive pull of anxiety......I'm thinking that when I abstained from it for two years and let my mind recover from the meth psychosis that it relapsed my brain back into a semi-psychosis. I no longer craved it......I longed for the anxiety to just end so benzo's became my drug of choice. Sure if I entertain the idea of smoking ICE I will get tempted but I sharply put those thoughts out of my head when I get them.
 
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