Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only

[eon_blue]

^^The only thing making Adderall any different than methamphetamine is a measley methyl compound...Adderall is just as capable of inflicting the same damage and consequences as meth if abused as frequently.

I think my sister is on meth now She went to rehab for cocaine/mental health issues and started dating a tweaker there. Now that she's out, she's ALWAYS out with him all night and then comes home to sleep for 2 days before going out again. She's lost weight, looks ghastly, all the tell-tale signs. Fuck...

Last time I got involved with her shit though I ended up relapsing myself (among other reasons of course), but anyway about it, fuck it. She's on her own, I'm tired of trying to rescue her when I've got my own shit to worry about.

/end rant

 

[Crankinit]

I feel like a chump talking about adderall when meth is the real devil's drug here. Adderall is like meth's dwarfish, slightly retarded cousin. But I've never tried meth, I love adderall. I really miss it now that I've been off it for a month (excepting two days last week). I feel like it restores a part of me that's missing - the motivated, energetic part of me that doesn't seem to exist without amphetamines. I don't know how other sober people do all this great stuff with the lives! What do they have that I don't?

Off adderall... I sleep twelve hours or more a night, I take naps during the day, I'm lazy and unmotivated to do any work, my legs are weak.... Does this ever go away? I'm considering going back on it (I have prescription) but this time making sure not to abuse my prescription, just using as much willpower as possible to take one little dose every day instead of staying up for three days in a row and taking more and more.

Adderall is an amphetamine like any other. Sure you can't smoke it and probably shouldn't inject it, but don't let anyone kid you, just because it's prescribed by a doctor and handed to you in a nice plastic bottle by someone in a lab coat, doesn't make it any less 'speed' than the dirty powder in a plastic baggy you buy off some kid who's been awake three days picking spiders out of his cheeks.

I think you should put some honest thought into whether you have to willpower to not abuse it like you say. Not to question your strength of character, but I found with meth there was a point of no return, once those hooks are buried in your brain and your mesolimbic pathway knows to associate the drug with that sensation, you can never really go back to 'just a little' or 'I'll force myself to come down after one dose.'

You say it makes you feel whole, restores a part of you that's missing. I can definately relate to that feeling because I'm likewise a fairly inactive person, and meth gave me the energy to do the things I wanted a lot of the time. The question is, why do you feel the need to have speed to keep you going? A lot of things can contribute to fatigue, stress, diet, mental health, sleeping patterns. Maybe ask yourself if you think one or more of those could be contributing to your feeling unable to keep up with life. There are other paths to becoming more active and more energetic without taking destructive and addictive stimulants, maybe if you explored those and addressed any lifestyle issues you'd find yourself craving the pills less.

Just a thought.

 

[zephyr]

Im high on some good gear,I decided to take a break from sobriety. Having a sociable session on drugs USED to be the norm, then put it away for a good while, then go again,

Using daily- not good at all.

That is all.

 

[BeckyLee]

^agreed with eon blue and crankit, regarding adderall.

also, eonblue- I am so sorry about your sister! I know how hard it is when someone has a problem and you can't do anything to help them. It is good for you that you realize this though.
Always put YOU first.

I am taking a day off stims, and I feel SO good; lazy and relaxed. I am eating a LOT though. I think I will be OK as long as there is just healthy food around. Maybe I will do this once every couple of weeks or so...

Regarding my stim (ab)use- I sort of hate adderall now... I have built up a horrible tolerance to it, so I've gone back on my old miracle drug vyvanse, which is just d-amphetamine attached to lysine, so it's metabolized slowly all day.

vyvanse really kicks adderall's ass in terms of effects, especially adderall xr. That shit gave me all the cracked out effects like anxiety, racing heartbeat... and it would go away and then it would come back! vyvanse is smooth and harder (but not impossible) to abuse. That is why docs are OK with giving it as a first-line med of treatment for adhd (tho I think that is just temporary, just like w/xanax or ambien which both used to be viewed as non-addicting "miracle drugs"). At first vyvanse really helped my focus LOTS and gave me all the euphoria, chattiness, lost appetitie, and general well-being that stims are supposed to give to ADHD folks.

A word of caution tho- If you choose to go on vyvanse you MUST HAVE REGULAR EATING, EXERCISE, AND SLEEPING HABITS. My eating habits seriously screwed up my metabolism, as well as lack of exercise, so the vyvanse wasn't being metabolized regularly and NEVER WORE OFF. It took me a few days of being a sleepless crackhead zombie to realize this.

I had to go on adderall 3x (supposedly... 8)) a day instead and it is horrible. I have had to start popping it like skittles b/c it only lasts an hour for me now, and the comedown is horrific. I also snort it if I need a quick boost. This med is the devil! My bf also loves this shit and I hope I am not leading to his demise by acting as his drug-dealer b/c alcoholism runs in his family...

I'm trying to go back on vyvanse, but I think my metabolism is still not what it used to be, and I'm not getting up earlier enough/getting enough exercise- though I've been exercising and trying to eat regularly.
I've had to take a buttload of sedatives to sleep at night + the comedown= suicidal.

I seriously think abusing amphetamines may have ruined them forever for me.

 

[mrs_mia_wallace]

I stayed up for somewhere around 4 days and went into some weird state yesterday morning... i was exhausted, naeseous as hell, and completely disorientated and uncoordinated. i tripped (or something like it?) over nothing and fell and hit my head on the refridgerator.

meth does not do what it used to for me... i guess that's what happens when you use literally EVERYDAY... in the past two month the only days i can remember being totally off it were when there was no way to get it and the last 24 hours.

anyway, i've basically just been asleep next to my fan--besides waking up for about a hour a few times and stuffing my face. good times. i will probably end up using again tomorrow, these attempts dont usually last long as history proves.

 

[8ft-Sativa]

^ Well you've got to have a strong attitude/mindset. Saying you will probably end up using again tomorrow pretty much tells me your not too serious about it.

 

[mrs_mia_wallace]

no im just completely addicted and hopeless at this point.

 

[footscrazy]

^^ Every small period you spend off it is a step in your recovery though.
Don't think they're a waste just because you get back on again - I still believe every effort you make to quit/cut down is a step forward.

How many times have I quit - probably over 30 times! Probably more actually... Sometimes I don't know why I keep bothering to even quit, wouldn't it be better if I just let loose and didn't have to have the added stress of thinking I was doing something wrong! But I've always been fucking stubborn and a slow learner and I'm starting to realise that maybe I just do need this harsh lesson shoved in my face hundreds of times before I finally start to get the point and start to get better. Today, I haven't used for over 3 weeks, and I know I wouldn't be at this point if it wasn't for all those attempts I've made previously. Even so, I'm going to get high again, I know that.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say (not very well) is that your situation is not hopeless! I really believe that even the smallest steps you make are taking you in the right direction, even if it doesn't seem so. Even the times when you feel the worst may be an essential part of your recovery...

Good luck Mia

 

[8ft-Sativa]

3 week's . . I would like to commend you!
*Take's a bow*

mrs_mia_wallace: Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again!

My best wishes.

 

[wingnutlives]

doesn't make it any less 'speed' than the dirty powder in a plastic baggy you buy off some kid who's been awake three days picking spiders out of his cheeks.

I think you should put some honest thought into whether you have to willpower to not abuse it like you say. Not to question your strength of character, but I found with meth there was a point of no return, once those hooks are buried in your brain and your mesolimbic pathway knows to associate the drug with that sensation, you can never really go back to 'just a little' or 'I'll force myself to come down after one dose.'

You say it makes you feel whole, restores a part of you that's missing. I can definately relate to that feeling because I'm likewise a fairly inactive person, and meth gave me the energy to do the things I wanted a lot of the time. The question is, why do you feel the need to have speed to keep you going? A lot of things can contribute to fatigue, stress, diet, mental health, sleeping patterns. Maybe ask yourself if you think one or more of those could be contributing to your feeling unable to keep up with life. There are other paths to becoming more active and more energetic without taking destructive and addictive stimulants, maybe if you explored those and addressed any lifestyle issues you'd find yourself craving the pills less.

Just a thought.

LOL @ spiders in the cheeks! Yeah, I'm not sure if I can use it without abuse, but I think I'll try and see. If I do end up abusing it again, I'll have to tell my doctor so he won't prescribe it anymore. Maybe I should try vyvanse or concerta, something that's harder to abuse. It's hard being off adderall b/c I really do have ADD and I regularly fail classes/become less productive at work. I guess we'll see how it goes...

 

[wingnutlives]

I sympathize with you Mia... I also feel that my life is way too complicated and stressful to be able to stay off amphetamines. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just take six months to sleep and relax while it all wears off? But unfortunately we don't have that option, so have to figure out how to navigate the life we have while tapering or going completely off amphs. Really fucking hard!

 

[Pink1966Floyd]

Picked up 100 mg of Adderall XR, i think im ready for finals.

 

[Rollinbowlz]

Theres been several times I thought i was dying . I have come to accept the fact Im probally gonna die soon and start to think Id like to quit but if i am dying why should i waste time trying to change my life. Do i want to change beacause society says this isnt the right way to live?Or is it out of fear?This is who i am and this is what i do.If i abuse the drug at times and then find myself feeling unhappy I know that all of sudden trying to quit even if im successful isnt automatically going to fix everything . Alot of things are easier on meth like work,studying and all kinds of other projects but the price you pay later is having a harder time identifying and dealing with your emotions. I know a few people that the only drug they do is meth.If people start having a hard time on this drug and think doing more of it is the answer but start to realize doing more is making shit worse they should start looking into other drugs to balance themselves out. superman isnt superman 24 seven
theres no need he is only super man when theres a need .It should be the same way with are drug use.Doing it just to sit on your couch and chill is a waste .If we dont have some constructive ass shit to do or that we need to do what the hell is the point?

 

[wingnutlives]

Picked up 100 mg of Adderall XR, i think im ready for finals.

I'd strongly advise you to sleep EVERY night for at least five hours or so. I've noticed that adderall stops helping you focus after you stay up long enough - after a day and a half I get spun out and can't concentrate on anything even with adderall. I've learned to force myself to get sleep even at the risk of late assignments. Also FOOD, three times a day at least!

 

[wingnutlives]

I decided to get back on adderall, until the summer when I will re-evaluate. This time, some ground rules: 10mg once or twice a day only, no staying up at night or for two days a time, no "cramming" types of studying, no alcohol or any other drugs (excepting a couple psychedelic experiences in the summer, possibly)... and also taking vitamins and eating regular meals and getting regular sleep every day. No exceptions. If I end up abusing it again, I'll have to tell my psychiatrist and get him to take me off prescription (I could still buy from friends, but that would be way too expensive and basically wouldn't work for more than a few days out of a month). I hope this decision works out all right - I need help handling all the pressure that's coming at me all at once

 

[gorgoroth]

I ived meth, I smoked it alot, snorted it. I ate LOTS of dexedrine.
known THDS speedfreak checking in, and still clean on maitaince stim program (40 milligrams of dexedrine is what i'm down to no)

 

[footscrazy]

3 week's . . I would like to commend you!
*Take's a bow*

Thank ya, though I am looking forward to getting off guts this weekend...But I'm happy that I'm planning when I use and not just buying on impulse.

 

[Jabberwocky]

^keep yaself in check, darl i just wish i had my invite a little earlier

i havent stuck a needle in my arm with meth in it for 8 days now. after a few DXM trips, some deep thinking and a lot of other things going on in my life, i have no craving nor desire! feels fucking great!

 

[footscrazy]

^^ 4 days is plenty of time to get down to Melb

So glad your doing well Lefty.

 

[Pillthrill]

Hey all,
I'm not a user, never have been. For whatever reason it never worked out. But I have an ex that used on and off after putting his life together and I have friends that use. I'm just reading here and feel for you all. Keep fighting this nasty stuff huh? I'll be around if just any one wants to talk or wants just some general support.