Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

[Captain.Heroin]

Only trouble is, I'm dependent on amphetamines and I'm not sure how much of an effect non-amphetamine medications would have...

I suspect modafinil wouldn't be as addictive, if addictive at all, for people who find amphetamines addictive. I might be wrong, and would love to hear people's experiences (with modafinil for maintenance, or for ADHD).

I agree with you P, pill formulations of dexedrine, or adderall, would be a much safer option than methamphetamine.

The pill formulations, when taken orally (the only satisfying way of doing them IMO), last a long time, and have a lower abuse potential. While some people may find adderall or dexedrine addictive, many, many more people would find meth way more addictive.

I understand that everyone who wants to quit using meth, would also not want to use amphetamines, especially if they don't have narcolepsy, or ADHD, or other disorders which amphetamine is commonly prescribed, and I do respect that decision.

In my mind though, I don't see myself having easily have given up heroin without Suboxone, so while I do believe that prescription stimulants should be available for meth addicts who need it, it's obviously not the best route of recovery for all meth/amp addicts. It's just as respectable to taper off, or cold turkey heroin, but I hear less success stories this way to be honest. I think maintenance is a great option overall (for some drugs, like heroin) - I have been clean from heroin for 17 months. In three days, it'll be 18 months.

 

[Cane2theLeft]

^From what I understand, they have been researching stimulant maintenance drugs for a long time. They've even considered modafinil but for some reason discarded that concept.

I think the reason they don't prescribe currently available amphetamines for maintenance is because unlike methadone and suboxone, they do not have a blockade effect. Think about it from a practitioners point of view... you prescribe stimulants to a known amp addict and they continue to use meth or other illicit amps at best not helping them at all and at worst, possibly contributing to OD or other health problems.

I think in some cases, addicts might benefit from amphetamine maintenance, but overall it doesn't address the core problem or prevent other problems like dangerous combinations (again, unlike suboxone).

Hopefully someday they'll have viable stimulant maintenance alternatives, but today I understand why doctors are unwilling to prescribe the stimulants on the market for this purpose.

 

[2spun4one]

nah - never had this amount of gear that I'd be willing to munch through in one sitting

no real desire to do that really... I prefer smaller doses, and working my way up from there....

I just meant I'd had maybe 4pts over 4 days, which was enough to set the tolerance levels back in motion. oh well, them's the breaks.

Oh.....ok. .1 per day is really not much, you should be thankful you don't need more!!! I go through around 1.0 per day. I just enjoy it

 

[Sweet P]

^ Yeah that's the kind of amounts I'm doing nowadays. 1-2 grams a day, most days of the week.

The enjoyment factor has pretty much gone though.

 

[[eK]]

Ugh... I've been back to using for the last two months nearly. Lately it has been making my chest feel tight on the left side, and I wheeze a lot... Path of addictive self destruction. This is so stupid.

yeah, it's evil shit. not that i am in any boat to judge right now..
are you smoking your gear??
i gotta get rid of the pipe, she really knows how to draw me back and forth.

 

[[eK]]

so i always tend to misjudge the great body-load i suffer when coming down off of this shit.
when you are 48+ hours overdue of sleep, and even though you try, you know all along that you're going to fail because you were foolish enough to binge with zero benzos in possession.
sigh.

 

[2spun4one]

Hi all... unfortunately I'm going back to using. The health system is refusing to put me on safe pharmaceutical amphetamines, so I'm forced to going back to scoring from dealers and gangs. Hopefully my shrink might change her mind one day, when she realises how quickly I'm falling downhill, but until then I'll be using like I used to. It's the only way I can live as a normal human being.

I know what you mean and exactly how you feel...and you will always run into people who will tell you that its too bad your deciding to keep doing speed, but when it comes down to it, and its true for me, that without the shit I could not function...I mean people freak out when I don't have any and can't do a damn thing...its only then that I get treated like there's something wrong with me. And in reality, there are millions of people on something that they cannot function without that you never even know about. I am terrified to tell anyone I do speed because I know it will change the way they look at me, suddenly I will be
the stereotype they have been conditioned to think of when it comes to meth use. I've been high as a kite around people who boast that that they can't stand tweakers and how they can spot one everytime. I've even said "really, so you would know if I was?" and they look me at me and say oh yeah I would definately know if you were... So I say if it makes your life what you want it to be and you can manage and maintain....rock on!!! anyone who doesn't understand should completely stop doing something they do...like how about quitting cigarrettes...

 

[Sweet P]

^ Good point. I unfortunately have the tweaker "look"... I'm pale, skinny, got dark circles under my eyes, messy hair, etc. But over the years as my tolerance has grown to the drug, I can sit still and act perfectly normal when I'm actually as high as a kite. If I'm up and about, I'm on meth. If I'm tired or lying around at home, I'm not.

 

[Cane2theLeft]

And in reality, there are millions of people on something that they cannot function without that you never even know about. I am terrified to tell anyone I do speed because I know it will change the way they look at me, suddenly I will be the stereotype they have been conditioned to think of when it comes to meth use.
...
So I say if it makes your life what you want it to be and you can manage and maintain....rock on!!! anyone who doesn't understand should completely stop doing something they do...like how about quitting cigarrettes...

I'm not trying to challenge you but I think for most people (not necessarily you of course) if they can no longer function without something, then their life isn't exactly what they want it to be. I just haven't met an individual who has lost control over substances and become addicted say "THIS is what I have always wanted my life to be".

You said maintaining, and yeah that is the best case scenario once you NEED that fix. The best you can do while that need controls is try to not have everything in your life collapse around you but decades of anecdotal experience demonstrate that once you've lost control, odds are that house of cards you are desperately trying to maintain is eventually going to fall apart.

 

[motiv311]

What do you do when the drug has affected you beyond the levels of withdrawal, physical deterioration and mental stability?

What I mean by that is: How do deal with the MOTIVATION aspect of it?

I have been doing crystal for 8 years with a use pattern that fluctuates constantly. Doing it every day for 3 years straight seemed to be easier to overcome comparing it to the way I currently use, and how I used BEFORE and AFTER those 3 years. Dealing with those eye tremors and body shakes after only 8 hours of not doing any were the worst, but NOTHING compared to the overall general feeling I experience now. I have absolutely no motivation to do ANYTHING other than getting wacked and eating when I have to.

The only good thing in my life (my girl) that matters more than anything me, I destroy along with everything else going for me due to not wanting to do anything AT ALL, except get high. The motivational factors that I used in the past to get ahead in life, I cannot seem to do the same anymore. I seem to do everything opposite of the way I feel about my girl and career and its come to the point where i'm just SAYING shit and doing fuck all to reinforce those words. I dont understand how this happened, Ive been a heavy user and poly-substance addict for 11 years and the times where my addictions SHOULD have been at their worst dont even compare to how bad things got as I cut down on my use. All the good things that I love, want and NEED, have completely lost the encouragement values they once had and subside my emotions. The only reason I still have a place to live, food to eat and money to spend, is because I have a father that puts up with a lot of shit.

What the fuck are you suppose to do when the most basic, obvious and EASY things become irrelevant and not even worth doing? I guess you can say, I literally dont want to and WILL NOT do anything when sober, and ONLY getting high can spring the motivation to do these things. This addiction would be a lot easier to kick IF I was able to actually WANT to do something and then actually doing it.

I hope this all made sense. I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong place or if I broke any of the thread rules, This is my first real post on this site so im still familiarizing myself with everything. Please, If anyone has any advice lemme hear it because I cant live like this anymore nor do I want to.

Be strong and stay safe.
Dexter.

it seems to me, that you (like most) got into the drug because of a certain "feeling" or "skill" or enhancement of yourself.

Unless you go cold-turkey once a month or so (for at least a week in my opinion) You will never feel the "positive" spirit that amphetamines can and do provide.

Unfortunately, what goes up must come down. On the flip side, what goes down will most likely swing like a pendulum to the positive space.

in terms of your inability to experience pleasure/reward for the normal things in life. this is a common side-effect of all amphetamines.
I still think all people need is a nice long drug-holiday; For others, a permanent holiday

 

[LSDMDMA&AMP]

i am stopping my rec. use of dexedrine. I would generally recreationally use at least once a week, probably 50% of weeks twice. I am quitting, for good this time. Id only need 80-100mg XR, so it shouldnt be too bad. I just need something to keep my mind off of getting high on speed. Its the only drug ive EVER had ANY trouble controllign use of..ive never wanted to use any drug even weekly almost..but speed crept up on me, and its at least once a week now, and i dont "withdrawal" but ill crave it, when i think about getting high generally. Its just too hard to resist. i need to fucking quit.

 

[nolimitnp]

Good to see I'm not alone. Okay maybe not good, I wouldn't wish the draw of the all mighty meth/amphetamine. I wish I had never started. My euphoria is all but gone now. I'm back to brain fog, scattered thoughts, and a horrid stutter. Now I spend many nights, alone, in the dark on my computer researching random things and buying shit I can't really afford. I filled my last script of 30 mg Adderall 3x daily the 20th. I'm down to 15 pills 9 days later. Ugh. My head doesn't feel right. Probably blood clotting up there about to give me a stroke. Been up for 3 straight days now and have to dose again around 100mg to be able to function at work. Finally got a cart job pushing flippin' shopping carts at Sam's. Its harder work than you think it might be. This is the hardest I've ever hit the amphetamines. Its wonderfully horrible. God I hope its not true about the permanent damage to the brain. I had a good thought. Lost it. Oh well. Hello to all of you.

 

[Sweet P]

^ Welcome to Bluelight! I'm experiencing similar symptoms to you... no longer any rush or euphoria, scattered thoughts, a stutter, obsessiveness (I also like to research random things on the net when I'm fried, or do lots of housework), occasional paranoia, and asociability. My head is also feeling weird after a day and a night of very heavy using and no sleep or food. Not sure if it's just a headache or something more serious. I've taken some paracetamol, but if it persists I may have to see my doc. Fortunately studies have shown that the brain does repair itself over time, but the exact amount of time varies from addict to addict. Some can recover in a month or so, while others may need a year or more. But it does happen. Oh, and congrats about the new job!

 

[Sweet P]

i am stopping my rec. use of dexedrine. I would generally recreationally use at least once a week, probably 50% of weeks twice. I am quitting, for good this time. Id only need 80-100mg XR, so it shouldnt be too bad. I just need something to keep my mind off of getting high on speed. Its the only drug ive EVER had ANY trouble controllign use of..ive never wanted to use any drug even weekly almost..but speed crept up on me, and its at least once a week now, and i dont "withdrawal" but ill crave it, when i think about getting high generally. Its just too hard to resist. i need to fucking quit.

That's cool to hear. Hope you're doing well! You're lucky you don't get the full-blown withdrawals, but yeah, the cravings themselves can be real hard to deal with. I wish you all the best.

 

[Sweet P]

Sorry for the third post in a row. I'm totally scattered right now, I can't even think straight and I'm finding it hard to type. I guess large amounts of meth, no sleep, and no food tend to do that to you. I hate meth for what it's done to me. It's basically ruined my life. But I still love it too. It's been my one true love - all the other drugs I've tried were just casual flings in comparison. I've been using it for only a few years of my life, but I've become so accustomed to using it, I can't imagine what life would be like without it. And I'm scared of the withdrawals. They make me so depressed it's like I'm entering a psychotic depression. Last time I stopped using, I was soon locked up a maximum security psychiatric ward after trying to fight six cops, called by my parents who knew how suicidal I was. So now I just continue to use. My doctor has told me bluntly that if I continue, I will die. My body weight is that of a severe anorexic, my hair is falling out in clumps, my teeth are rotting, and my health is general is getting worse. I also can't hold down a job, I can't study, I barely leave the house, and the only "friends" I have in real life are gang members. And the sadest part is that I think I'm willing to let the drug take my life. I can't live without it, but I won't live much longer with it.

 

[hyroller]

I don't know what to say. That scares and disappoints & renders me essentially powerless

Meth has all but divested every good achievement and accomplishment in my life, but I still have my physical health....for what it's worth.

Maybe I just refuse to let something point blank control me... I don't even feel passionately enough about meth to let it take over

 

[Sweet P]

^ I don't feel very passionate about meth any more. It's like my daily medicine. I'm just feeling totally defeatist... I know it's killing me, but I don't think I'll be able to quit and return to a "normal" life.

 

[hyroller]

I think your problem (psychologically) stems from a poor sense of identity... I dont know if much of it has been lost in the crossfire of living as a transsexual.... I don't know how difficult that could be to confront but you need to seriously get your middle finger pointed right up at all the people who told you you were in any way worthless or undeserving of love as a human being in this life, because by giving in to this disease you're effectively letting them win

 

[yoursecrettime]

SP, you're probably already quite set in your beliefs about your addiction and the boundries of what you can accomplish. I don't know you or your exact circumstances, but from reading your posts I feel a strong relation to what you are experiencing. I have struggled for meth addiction on and off since I was 16, but once I experienced a latent schizophrenic episode three months ago, I immediately ceased use and have not used again.

And quitting doesn't have to be that hard. You clearly believe that you've dug a massive hole that you now can't escape, but there are without doubt people in worse situations than either of us who have been able to prosper after leaving meth. And I'm sure that you have the capability to be more self-confident and feel more self-worth that you give yourself credit for.

Meth is just a phenethylamine; simple in structure; simple in it's high; and simple to live without if you believe it can be.

 

[deadhead507461]

I have used meth probably a dozen times, the last 3 months (ever). It seems to have zero negative effects so far. Its relatively cheap, I can smoke and smoke on just a little amount, it lasts me a good 36 hours every time, I cant stuff my face with food so my stomach seems to be happier since I don't plump up and shit all the time, I am more social and express myself so so much more (use to be hard to), I can workout/hangout longer than ever... Its just all good so far, WHICH REALLY SCARES ME.
When is it going to be to late and I find out that I cant stop.
I buy very small amounts at a time, and keep it to 1 48hr session a week at most. It really doesn't feel addictive, I have money to do it, but I only think of it when I want to do it, I don't feel that urge like I need it.
Each time I do it the comedown gets easier and easier, almost now existent now.
Every adult I know that uses it, like my friends mom, says it is okay to do, but moderation is the key.. Which is starting to make so much sense. Is that true?
Or one day will this habit just bite me in the ass and not let me go.

Part of me just wants to smash the pipe, delete my connect's number and be done with it all together. But I am not finding enough negative effects to give me a reason to.

Is Meth really all that bad?
or am I being fooled into addiction without knowing it????????