manicmama
Bluelighter
Congrats on 11 days, todays day 3 for me, feel like shit, but feel no temptation 2 use, fingers crossed I've finally hit my turnin point x
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H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist
Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread
- Thread starter panic in paradise
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tricomb
Bluelight Crew
I highly recommend you guys try Chelated Magnesium, it's helped so much to get over the harmful effects of methamphetamine abuse.
manicmama
Bluelighter
Thank you tri - if it helps after meth then it's gotta help after the crap I get. I'll check out herbal vitamin shop tomorrow, see if I can grab some - ANYTHING to feel human! All my own fault!
This is my daily micronutrient supplement content(50% of it at least, one serving is two packets.) It is also what I used for my pre-Adderall binge stack when I was still using. Good stuff with an excellent antioxident profile.
http://i45.tinypic.com/2mgtb2q.jpg
http://i45.tinypic.com/2mgtb2q.jpg
Libby
Bluelighter
I've seen you recommend this chelated magnesium all over the board Tricomb lol. It's already in my multivitamin thing so that's good. I feel pretty good anyways, only thing is at first all I wanted to do was sleep all the time. Just wake up to eat, dink, go bathroom, then straight back to bed. But now that has passed, and I have insomnia. I'm down right hyperactive lol. I guess this will swing back again at some point then continue to go up and down at ever decreasing increments until it settles somewhere normal, afterall brain wants homeostasis right? But for now it's annoying. I've had two 2-3hour naps, where I don't really know if I actually fell asleep or just rested in the past like 4 days and I'm not on ANYTHING. I've always been a 9hours sleep a day person (unless I was high, then it might be couple days up, fucken couple days knocked the fuck out lol).
fucking fuck. After 13 days clean my appointment for my refill came up and I make the decision to take the plunge.
I simply CAN'T get anything done without Adderall no matter how hard I try and that really isn't much of an option at this time. It's incredibly unfortunate that the one substance I need in order to continue on with my life is the same substance I'm addicted to. After 8 years of substance abuse Adderall is the only one that developed into any sort of addiction, and I'm pretty certain the above reason is the rational for that. I'm confident that I would of been able to stay off when I originally quit a few months after use if I didn't Adderall wasn't a precursor to my success.
I wish like hell I could take therapeutic doses of Adderall, but when I look at those little orange pills all I can see is speed. No matter how hard I try to keep the doses down it always ends up in a binge. I'm going on 140-150 mg right now and have been binging for about the past 15 hours.
I simply CAN'T get anything done without Adderall no matter how hard I try and that really isn't much of an option at this time. It's incredibly unfortunate that the one substance I need in order to continue on with my life is the same substance I'm addicted to. After 8 years of substance abuse Adderall is the only one that developed into any sort of addiction, and I'm pretty certain the above reason is the rational for that. I'm confident that I would of been able to stay off when I originally quit a few months after use if I didn't Adderall wasn't a precursor to my success.
I wish like hell I could take therapeutic doses of Adderall, but when I look at those little orange pills all I can see is speed. No matter how hard I try to keep the doses down it always ends up in a binge. I'm going on 140-150 mg right now and have been binging for about the past 15 hours.
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spork
Bluelight Crew
^Slip-ups happen, it's a part of recovery. Please don't be too hard on yourself, you're only human. 
VanWeyden
Bluelighter
OK, I have to confess sth. here: Although stims never were my main vices I kind of relapsed on them about two months ago.
It was one week before I got my long-awaited methylphenidate script (I'm diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type but had to stay clean for 6 months before getting the script because of my addiction to opiates, benzos and weed).
I had a lot of work to do and wasn't able to getting it done, namely a lesson I had to hold a few hours later besides a bunch of other stuff.
I knew my roomie kept some ritalin pills in his room and while he was gone I gave in and stole 6 pills from her. I took one waited, and an hour later I just cried, cried, cried.
The days before that I felt so awful and after taking the pill all the frustration and hopelessness came out.
I called the school and told them I was sick and couldn't hold the lesson, curled up in my bed and tried to stand those feelings, but swallowed another pill, then snorted the other four ones over 6 hours.
I attended a uni course through that time, talked to a few people and stuff but I think no one noticed it.
I didn't talk to anyone about that, not even to my self-help group, which makes me feel really bad because normally I'm wholeheartedly honest to them.
So I got my methylphenidate er script a week later, and since then taken the pills only as directed, 30 mg per day. No other drugs besides nicotine and caffeine.
It was one week before I got my long-awaited methylphenidate script (I'm diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type but had to stay clean for 6 months before getting the script because of my addiction to opiates, benzos and weed).
I had a lot of work to do and wasn't able to getting it done, namely a lesson I had to hold a few hours later besides a bunch of other stuff.
I knew my roomie kept some ritalin pills in his room and while he was gone I gave in and stole 6 pills from her. I took one waited, and an hour later I just cried, cried, cried.
The days before that I felt so awful and after taking the pill all the frustration and hopelessness came out.
I called the school and told them I was sick and couldn't hold the lesson, curled up in my bed and tried to stand those feelings, but swallowed another pill, then snorted the other four ones over 6 hours.
I attended a uni course through that time, talked to a few people and stuff but I think no one noticed it.
I didn't talk to anyone about that, not even to my self-help group, which makes me feel really bad because normally I'm wholeheartedly honest to them.
So I got my methylphenidate er script a week later, and since then taken the pills only as directed, 30 mg per day. No other drugs besides nicotine and caffeine.
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
Hey VanWeyden, i'm sorry to hear about your recent struggles.
These slip up's happen to us all dude.
It was one day with some bad decisions made, don't let that get to you
How are you feeling now that you have been on your methylphenidate script?
I had a little slip up myself over the weekend with meth.
Needed a little 'pick-me-up' at a party because i was so drained from not sleeping that week.
I only bought a little bit. But it had been such a long time for me.
It's weird, after having about half a point i felt so guilty about doing it that i forced myself to throw away the remaining shards.
It really is something that I cannot dive back in to.
These slip up's happen to us all dude.
It was one day with some bad decisions made, don't let that get to you
How are you feeling now that you have been on your methylphenidate script?
I had a little slip up myself over the weekend with meth.
Needed a little 'pick-me-up' at a party because i was so drained from not sleeping that week.
I only bought a little bit. But it had been such a long time for me.
It's weird, after having about half a point i felt so guilty about doing it that i forced myself to throw away the remaining shards.
It really is something that I cannot dive back in to.
TriggerHappy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2009
- Messages
- 114
i caved and filled my adderall script. the meds will be delivered in 36 hours and i'm stoked about it.
at the same time, there is guilt, because i haven't used amps for about 9 months. the past 3 months, i fell back into my heroin addiction, and i didn't feel like i had any options. i had spent 1.5 years opiate free, right after being diagnosed with ADHD. adderall and a short sub detox saved my life. guess i feel like the amps are justified, because they keep me away from the greater evil.
at the same time, there is guilt, because i haven't used amps for about 9 months. the past 3 months, i fell back into my heroin addiction, and i didn't feel like i had any options. i had spent 1.5 years opiate free, right after being diagnosed with ADHD. adderall and a short sub detox saved my life. guess i feel like the amps are justified, because they keep me away from the greater evil.
VanWeyden
Bluelighter
Hey VanWeyden, i'm sorry to hear about your recent struggles.
These slip up's happen to us all dude.
It was one day with some bad decisions made, don't let that get to you
How are you feeling now that you have been on your methylphenidate script?
I had a little slip up myself over the weekend with meth.
Needed a little 'pick-me-up' at a party because i was so drained from not sleeping that week.
I only bought a little bit. But it had been such a long time for me.
It's weird, after having about half a point i felt so guilty about doing it that i forced myself to throw away the remaining shards.
It really is something that I cannot dive back in to.
As I said, I'm doing well and stick to the rules with my script, actually I often take even less than scripted. It really helps me- Of course for the first few weeks it gave me an energy boost and I was able to study/work for hours on end, but now it just helps me to stick to one task until it's done and most importantly helps me to create routines and systems that make it easier to keep everything in order. I was always foot tapping or sth. and thought about three or four different things at the same time, which has gotten a lot better. I remember that I sat in a uni course with a friend the first day I took the methylphenidate and after some time I had the impression that it was exceptionally quiet in the room. I asked him if he thought the same and he said "No, its always like that." OK... now I understand what I was missing before...
selfmedicated
Greenlighter
I've been using Meth daily for 3 months. Mostly smoking but I'll eat it or hotline it too. My bf caught me which is good cause I don't really wanna be a tweaker. So he took me to the lake to crash. I've also been using oxy for about a year now. I'm still using the oxy ( he knows about that) while coming off the Meth. I hate this feeling , tired but feeling like I'm missing out on everything, and a wierd almost tingley feeling that won't Go away. I'm terribly deperessed and terrified of gaining the weight back. Will anything help? I have weed, and alcohol.... I know I'm not gonna feel normal but is there anything g I can do to at least feel a little better?
selfmedicated
Greenlighter
Something I do know is that I'm self medication. I feel normal when I'm using. I just don't function Well sober. Obviously choosing to self medicate with illegal street drugs is a bad choice but when sober I feel like I just want to crawl out of my own ski n. I have a hard time accomplishing anything and normal day to day tasks seem lime huge obstacle to me. Ugh Idk. I just wanna be normal. I don't get high to be high....I don't take oxy to get on a nod big just tho feel normal. I dont take meth to tweak for hours scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush. I stay as far away from the drugifestyles as possible.
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
Sorry to hear about your complications, sm.
I really hate the mental confusion that is a result of frequent meth use.
You feel normal on meth because you have been using it for quite some time now (obviously), but I think you are still ahead in some ways..
3 months is enough time to really warp the way your brain functions. But it is good that you are seeking change now rather than in 3 years time. A lot of meth users will not even register the seriousness of their addictions until way down the line.
You also have a partner, who seems to be pretty understanding of your situation.
It's not a good idea to hide that from your partner. I used to hide it for a long time and it caused nothing but havoc in my relationship/s.
I think you need to start trial and erroring different methods of recovery. You really need to break this habit which will only continue to suck you in deeper.
When you wake up, try thinking about your life before you started on drug use.
Think long & hard.
Think about how your life could be different without meth.
I would always focus on the more luxurious items I could spend my money on rather than ice.
Also, having a partner to help you through is a definite +.
Im sure it kills him too see your soul so manipulated by this lifestyle, it would be worse if he decided to start using too.
There are a lot of different things around you which all matter right now.
Doing the "right" things to recover is so fucking strenuous and such a hard task, but it needs to be taken care of now before it gets extremely harder to battle.
My inbox is open if you want to talk some more.
Talking about it also helps a shit load.
I really hate the mental confusion that is a result of frequent meth use.
You feel normal on meth because you have been using it for quite some time now (obviously), but I think you are still ahead in some ways..
3 months is enough time to really warp the way your brain functions. But it is good that you are seeking change now rather than in 3 years time. A lot of meth users will not even register the seriousness of their addictions until way down the line.
You also have a partner, who seems to be pretty understanding of your situation.
It's not a good idea to hide that from your partner. I used to hide it for a long time and it caused nothing but havoc in my relationship/s.
I think you need to start trial and erroring different methods of recovery. You really need to break this habit which will only continue to suck you in deeper.
When you wake up, try thinking about your life before you started on drug use.
Think long & hard.
Think about how your life could be different without meth.
I would always focus on the more luxurious items I could spend my money on rather than ice.
Also, having a partner to help you through is a definite +.
Im sure it kills him too see your soul so manipulated by this lifestyle, it would be worse if he decided to start using too.
There are a lot of different things around you which all matter right now.
Doing the "right" things to recover is so fucking strenuous and such a hard task, but it needs to be taken care of now before it gets extremely harder to battle.
My inbox is open if you want to talk some more.
Talking about it also helps a shit load.
I relapsed since my last post...again. I got 1200 mg about 4 days ago and have done over 500 mg already, I just flushed the remaining 700 mg down the toilet. I was going to burn my script for next month but I've decided to try to return it for a Ritalin script.
My roomate had a Ritalin script that he gave me once and I didn't find it very rectrational, not to mention the fact that it is FAR less neurotoxic than Adderall. I still need something to help with my ADHD and I've proven to myself I can't do amps responsibly so hopefully this will fill the void that I'm looking for.
My roomate had a Ritalin script that he gave me once and I didn't find it very rectrational, not to mention the fact that it is FAR less neurotoxic than Adderall. I still need something to help with my ADHD and I've proven to myself I can't do amps responsibly so hopefully this will fill the void that I'm looking for.
synchrojet
Bluelighter
The question doesn't present itself until there's a reason. If you're asking yourself if you're addicted...you are. Maybe not badly, but the fact that its on your mind is evidence that you are trying to tell yourself something you don't really want to hear...
synchrojet
Bluelighter
QUOTE: "I've been using Meth daily for 3 months. Mostly smoking but I'll eat it or hotline it too. My bf caught me which is good cause I don't really wanna be a tweaker. So he took me to the lake to crash. I've also been using oxy for about a year now. I'm still using the oxy ( he knows about that) while coming off the Meth. I hate this feeling , tired but feeling like I'm missing out on everything, and a wierd almost tingley feeling that won't Go away. I'm terribly deperessed and terrified of gaining the weight back. Will anything help? I have weed, and alcohol.... I know I'm not gonna feel normal but is there anything g I can do to at least feel a little better?"
There sure is. You're doing it right now
You'll get where you want to if you keep being honest with yourself and taking action on your own behalf.
There sure is. You're doing it right now
You'll get where you want to if you keep being honest with yourself and taking action on your own behalf.
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
Ahhhh rrrrrgh
I did it again..
Arghgh, meth is fucked.
I had wiped it out of my life, to the point where I had nearly overcome thinking about it every day..
Since I returned from Europe at the start of August, I have been avoiding substances to clear my exhausted system out.
But I've given in to meth on 4 occasions now, which I know, defeats the fucking purpose.
The most recent and worst , after work yesterday I thought I would split some with a friend.
After smoking through our relatively small supply, we then decided to go for a walk.
I noticed my heart would randomly start to hurt and cramp. It will hurt or at least feel uncomfortable when I walk fast or turn suddenly.
This sort of happened to me briefly about 2 weeks ago..
Only thing is, I'm still hurting a little. It's been like 6 hours now.
I'm so fucking paranoid. Ontop of that I'm beating myself up for letting my guards down..
I can't get back into this shit.
My day is now ruined, I had to call in sick at work so I can go get it checked out by doctors.
I have to be really active at work, If I rocked up for my shift in a few hours I'm scared ill have a heart attack.
That, and I am looking too badly drug affected to hold my cool.
Has anyone experienced similar heart problems ?
I'm kinda scared.
I did it again..
Arghgh, meth is fucked.
I had wiped it out of my life, to the point where I had nearly overcome thinking about it every day..
Since I returned from Europe at the start of August, I have been avoiding substances to clear my exhausted system out.
But I've given in to meth on 4 occasions now, which I know, defeats the fucking purpose.
The most recent and worst , after work yesterday I thought I would split some with a friend.
After smoking through our relatively small supply, we then decided to go for a walk.
I noticed my heart would randomly start to hurt and cramp. It will hurt or at least feel uncomfortable when I walk fast or turn suddenly.
This sort of happened to me briefly about 2 weeks ago..
Only thing is, I'm still hurting a little. It's been like 6 hours now.
I'm so fucking paranoid. Ontop of that I'm beating myself up for letting my guards down..
I can't get back into this shit.
My day is now ruined, I had to call in sick at work so I can go get it checked out by doctors.
I have to be really active at work, If I rocked up for my shift in a few hours I'm scared ill have a heart attack.
That, and I am looking too badly drug affected to hold my cool.
Has anyone experienced similar heart problems ?
I'm kinda scared.
Hey guys. I been attempting to nip a recent weekly habit in the bud before it gets out of hand. Replaced other stim with meth but the long duration turned a weekend night treat into lifestyle choice.
What has helped. Kratom for the weekend night only when cravings take place, amazing at killing any drug or alcahol cravings dead. Also looking into phenibut. Also as i have a seroquel perscription, a sneaky trick is to take a dose before you give in and logic yourself into scoring,and might help with cravings, not sure, as you will sleep. Basically means its not gonna work, no point in getting. Helps to make the decision for you, though i will admit 1 day of desperately gaging up the pill and going anyways, in a stupid half asleep state. Still worked, dosed and fell asleep, so i know it works for next time. I think what also helps is getting rid of the practical uses, fortunately i see no value beyond rec, so that should help. Tried it while working, wasnt happy,took to long to do shit and i was being to nice. It also helps to have a reason not to do it daily, for me I have my business, my passion, and wouldnt risk this. I also find no desire during the week, luckily, but i think as i take large doses, its only viable when alone and bored as i get high to the point of social retardation. I was wondering if i am safe from withdrawal based addiction due to weekend 2day use only? The plus side is that all other stims, my docs, are shit in comparison, so if i can kick meth, i wont got back to that crap.
My pros and risks are zero anxiety on and off the drug, it doesnt make my other bad anxiety worse at all, in fact it has vanished, though from other reasons, its really great to have zero anxiety for once as apposed to the daily dose. Its wierd cause other stims always had an element of anxiety. Are there issues longer term? My brother used alot when he was younger and im certain that it brought out or made wore his bipolar, its bad and no med cocktail is working, scared being around the guy in case he starts stabbing his leg with a knifeor jumps of the balcony and breaks his leg again. The weird thing is that stims make him completely normal. Is there some conclusion from this? Weras alcahol is danger.
What has helped. Kratom for the weekend night only when cravings take place, amazing at killing any drug or alcahol cravings dead. Also looking into phenibut. Also as i have a seroquel perscription, a sneaky trick is to take a dose before you give in and logic yourself into scoring,and might help with cravings, not sure, as you will sleep. Basically means its not gonna work, no point in getting. Helps to make the decision for you, though i will admit 1 day of desperately gaging up the pill and going anyways, in a stupid half asleep state. Still worked, dosed and fell asleep, so i know it works for next time. I think what also helps is getting rid of the practical uses, fortunately i see no value beyond rec, so that should help. Tried it while working, wasnt happy,took to long to do shit and i was being to nice. It also helps to have a reason not to do it daily, for me I have my business, my passion, and wouldnt risk this. I also find no desire during the week, luckily, but i think as i take large doses, its only viable when alone and bored as i get high to the point of social retardation. I was wondering if i am safe from withdrawal based addiction due to weekend 2day use only? The plus side is that all other stims, my docs, are shit in comparison, so if i can kick meth, i wont got back to that crap.
My pros and risks are zero anxiety on and off the drug, it doesnt make my other bad anxiety worse at all, in fact it has vanished, though from other reasons, its really great to have zero anxiety for once as apposed to the daily dose. Its wierd cause other stims always had an element of anxiety. Are there issues longer term? My brother used alot when he was younger and im certain that it brought out or made wore his bipolar, its bad and no med cocktail is working, scared being around the guy in case he starts stabbing his leg with a knifeor jumps of the balcony and breaks his leg again. The weird thing is that stims make him completely normal. Is there some conclusion from this? Weras alcahol is danger.
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