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Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

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Drk.Mob.Girl said:
Hello everyone,
Im in need off support. I've been a meth addict for 3-4 year. I hit rock bottom and then got help. I moved to Mexico about a 1yr and 2 months ago. the last time I had used was the day that I was gonna fly from L.A to Mexico. I stayed clean for 1yr and a month, wich has been the logest ive been off this shit. Like a month a go I told my friend i wanted to get high and i was convinced that I was gonna be able to use it once in a blue moon. it was like that for 2 weeks i would go to her and smoke for like 3 hours then would go home satisfied with out wanting more. about 2 weeks a go i started buying it on my own and havent been able to stop since. i keep saying just this last bowl and just keep buying more. I really dont want to disapoint my parents once again. specially my lil girl that is just 5 years old and here in mexico the rehab center are a shit hole i was in one for 3 months because of depression and heavy drinking adn was the worse ever. they threath u likea piece of shit. i think i cameout more fucken depressed and mentally drained. and Im just alone her in they new fucked up country with no moral support what so ever or without even having someone to go to and tell them whats going on IM SO FUCKEN ALONE AND LOST. I dont want to go through this shit again. Someone please help!!
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I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles! I dealt with a very strong meth addiction for about the same about of time post college. It was one of the toughest things quitting and then I was clean from meth for many years. Last year i started using again - thinking that I would be able to use "once in a blue moon" like you said. I shot up on my birthday as a "present" to myself. As soon as I felt that rush - it was all over. Less than one month later I lost my job because I wasn't able to stop again. I'm still struggling, I haven't used in I think 3 weeks. (meth that is - I'm also dealing with a sever dope/opiate addiction as well). I completely understand how you feel and I need the support of bluelighters as well. But I'm determined to get clean. I know the feeling like there is no way you can ever feel as good as you do when you are high. It's life consuming. But I know that is not the truth. I'm in no position to tell anyone what to do or to make judgement/criticism of someone elses use - but I want you know that I am there with you and can support you in your quest for sobriety. We can all do this. I am sure of it. I am starting therapy when I get back from the holiday (I'm visiting family). Please feel free to reach out to me via this thread or PM if you need to talk or companionship in anyway.

I got super down on myself because I was clean off of meth for so long, and then when I relapsed. I went from 0 to 100 in like 2 seconds. It was all to familiar and scarey. And I lost my job because of it. I had learned nothing in my time being meth free. But I realize it was because although I had laid off that specific drug for so long, I had never quit using other drugs and I never addressed my root causes for what was making me need to be constantly high. I wish you all the best in your recovery and journey to freedom. Peace and love
 
Hey there again Drk.Mob.Girl - got your PM but I'm only able to send out 1 PM every 180 minutes :( - so I can't get back to you yet! But I totally feel ya! I'll send you my email address next time I can PM (or it might be in my profile for friends, maybe you can email me there?) <3
 
I have been in the grip of the viscous cycle of binging on Dextroamphetamine Sulphate(very high doses for about a week) once per month for about 6 months now and the withdrawl is always terrible. If you're on this sub-forum, I need not describe the feeling/symptoms-you are familiar with it. This time around, I've had about ten days clean from any amphetamines/stimulants and was in Whole Foods to purchase another bottle of L-Tyrosine. While in the store, I saw that my local Whole Foods is now carrying Phenibut. I have only read about Phenibut, never taken it, and I gave it a try. After a few hours of one dose (500mg) of Phenibut, I didn't give a flying fuck about dextroamphetamine. I felt so damn at peace with myself. Depression and anxiety was totally lifted. I am not trying to glorify Phenibut(read up on it before making the decision to take it) and I am aware of its rapid onset of tolerance and its own potential for addiction/dependence but shit, if benzo's, SSRI's and other Big Pharma drugs aren't cutting it for your post-acute amphetamine withdrawl, Phenibut may...

Happy Recovery,
-sweaty
 
sweaty said:
I have been in the grip of the viscous cycle of binging on Dextroamphetamine Sulphate(very high doses for about a week) once per month for about 6 months now and the withdrawl is always terrible. If you're on this sub-forum, I need not describe the feeling/symptoms-you are familiar with it. This time around, I've had about ten days clean from any amphetamines/stimulants and was in Whole Foods to purchase another bottle of L-Tyrosine. While in the store, I saw that my local Whole Foods is now carrying Phenibut. I have only read about Phenibut, never taken it, and I gave it a try. After a few hours of one dose (500mg) of Phenibut, I didn't give a flying fuck about dextroamphetamine. I felt so damn at peace with myself. Depression and anxiety was totally lifted. I am not trying to glorify Phenibut(read up on it before making the decision to take it) and I am aware of its rapid onset of tolerance and its own potential for addiction/dependence but shit, if benzo's, SSRI's and other Big Pharma drugs aren't cutting it for your post-acute amphetamine withdrawl, Phenibut may...

Happy Recovery,
-sweaty
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Wow I really need to try this Phenibut - I've heard so much about it lately. Positive and negative. I'm glad you had a positive experience with it!!
 
Hi,
I've been using street speed - not meth that's not that popular/common in UK - daily for months. ROA oral, Dosage obviously don't know purity but I'm getting through my stuff quicker and quicker.
I don't know why I started using it - I think partly weight loss, partly energy boost. I work 3 days a week, I have a baby son at home and a 4 year old who lives with his Dad and I have him in the holidays.
I collect my son for a week in the morning 7am GMT.
I was going to have a week off amp whilst I had him - I don't think I can do it, I would not get out of bed and if I did I would not have the energy to do anything with him and he would be devastated.
The realisation I cannot function without amp scares me - couldn't give two about my health - its the fact I am going abroad for a fortnight in 8 weeks. Obviously I am not stupid enough to try and get 2 weeks worth of speed through the airports. Both kids are coming and parents. I have 8 weeks to be able to function normally without speed. I cannot take time off work I'm self employed and would have zero income. I am scared to tell my psychiatrist incase she sections me. Would reducing the amount I take each day help? I also have bipolar and take lithium carbonate 600mg daily (xr) - I have small script for clonazepam which I don't really use and zopiclone also hardly use - good chance I will get another script for these if needed. Any tips to help with energy levels/motivation if I just stop? I can't take caffeine or ibuprofen because of the lithium. Anti-depressants would never be prescribed to me because of the risk of triggering mania. Anything to help would have to be available OTC or prescription(if I decide to risk asking shrink for help) in the uk. Oh, codeine and weed make me puke so they're out.
Sorry this is so long, I just feel fucked and can't believe I've got myself in a position where I can't function without the shit. And I know I'm a shit Mum.
 
Ask your doctor about modafinil, its prescription only in most places. But, several studies have shown it decently effective in bipolar and cases of methamphetamine dependence.

Are your doctors aware of your amphetamine use?
 
As an aside, since I can't seem to edit on my phone:

Reducing your dose will help, it's a slow process though, but it will help more than virtually anything else. Also, try asking about Seroquel for sleep. From my reading it might be more effective in bipolar patients and it's potent as hell NRI metabolite might cut you some slack as far as functioning goes.

Best of luck,
EA
 
Thanks EA,

She's aware I do it recreationally - not that its become a daily habit that I can't even have a days break.
I will bite the bullet and tell her how bad my use has become and ask about Modafinil and see if it's prescribed over here and if she thinks it suitable.

As for seroquel (or as I know it, Quetiapine), I was on 800mg XR daily for 2 years. At first alone then other stuff added. For me it did not control my bipolar (totally clean) and gained 4 stone. I would be extremely reluctant to go back on this even at a low dose as the low doses (200mg and less), make be extremely tired to the point that I can't function at all and all I can do is sleep. Which is the w/d effect from the amp that I am most scared of, the depression I can cope with (I hope). But thank you for taking the time to suggest it.

Today however, I have begun cutting down - not by as much as I hoped but it's a start.

Thanks MM.
 
Maybe give Olanzapine a try? It's in the same class of drugs as Quetiapine, but less sedating for sure. I found I was able to function better on Olanzapine compared to Risperidone & Quietiapine.
 
Hi Cid,

I've had Olanzapine aswell, gained a lot of weight - more than with the quetiapine.
I was trying to taper, and remembered my stash. Now my friends just informed me she's collected and my 'present' will be waiting in work on Tuesday.
I'm seriously thinking cold turkey, but god only knows if I'll even be able to care for my baby, let alone work, and now I've just been informed by my boss that she's FINALLY, after months of beggin, switched 1 of my days so am with my best friend - also daily user - 2 days a week instead of 1. I know there is no way I'll sit there tired, miserable and moody while she's off her tits.
Feel like someone up there don't want me to get my shit 2geva, got a feelin my holidays gunna consist of faking serious bipolar meltdown so I can get over the worst of w/d whilst my familys away on the holiday I paid for whilst I get pumped full of the dreaded AP's on a psych ward OR I'm gunna spend the entire holiday silently praying for death each time I have to leave my room and try and function for sake of my kids n folks.
Why oh why did I let it get this out of hand?
Very worst thing is, I don't even wanna get clean, just gotta cus of customs - and that just makes me feel even more of a failure as a mum :(
 
Yeah - clever lil me decided 2 book a fortnite abroad for the entire family at the start of August.
Did not consider my daily use of illegal amps and the fact it would be stupid to try and get a fortnites supply thru customs.
Hind sight eh?!
 
Clonazepam and redbulls have been keeping me off the amps. haha ... and weed of course.

If I really need it ill bust out a benzedrex cotton in a diet coke and lime
 
I have a legit supply of clonazepam - I'm supposed to be caffeine free cus it interacts with my lithium, but is it really gunna do more damage than the amp its been racing round my body with this past year??? I may av 2 do a lil diggin on that.

Weed however, absolutely not, a tiny lil drag of a spliff makes me vomit! Total lightweight on the natural stuff - manmade keep it comin lol.

Laugh all I can 2nite - cold turkey 2mz - wish me luck! Tbh, if I make it 2 lunchtime I'll be proud.
 
I've looked into it - I actually rang my out of hours mental health for my area, and tricomb, you are spot on. Caffeine is an absolute no no with the lithium, and I have no option but to take it else I'm off for a stay in psych care til I become compliant.
I see where you're comin from dm, and I'd give the advice myself to someone else. However for me personally the risks of using clonazepam regular - tolerance/dependency - are less of a danger than how regular large amounts of caffeine will affect the lithium. However for what little benefit clonazepam gives me I'm not gonna take it other than how I do now, very, very occassionally for the reason I'm prescribed.
I awoke this morn determined to be clean without using so much as a spoon of sugar for an energy boost to get by. I figure do it alone, don't repeat past mistakes replacing one addiction with another, just cope, your own fault, you'll get thru the day blah, blah, blah. Could not of picked a worse day to abstain - 4 year old actin up cus he gotta go bk 2 his dad, baby playin up cus he copyin the older 1, my bro wakin me up in the small hrs cos he left his bird, Grandads really ill bed bound, 5 hour train ride etc. I lasted til 9am :(
Gunna try again 2mrw wen got no kids and nothin to do.
I have also got an appt wiv psych on fri, and av decided that if I am unable to stop doin the stuff by myself by then, I'm gunna tell her the extent of my use.
 
It's threads and sites like these that put the internet to good use! If anyone needs someone to talk to feel free to PM me, dealt with my fair share of problems myself and wouldn't mind helping someone overcome their addiction.
 
The only amphetamine I had a problem with is MDMA. For close to a year I did 10+ pills everyday sometimes as much as 15-16. I now take adderrall and love it but that is prescribed. I've been fooling around with meth and 4-FMA because coke/crack has just lost it's magic. Do you think these can be done recreationally or am I on a slippery slope?
 
Personally, it's a slippery slope. I've thought about trying meth just because I havn't had the first rush and intense feelings I did when I used a stimulant RC. And I know I would've ended up saying, okay no more... well maybe a bit. And then I'd end up a full blown addict, still chasing that feeling.
Maybe try a break from amphetamines for a while, with your doctors help and advice of course. Not a good idea to go off any medication cold turkey without help and advice, and try taking some supplements to get the magic back. Magnesium is apperently good for tolerance and bruxism, L Tyrosine is proven to recharge dopamine levels naturally and effectively. And maybe 5-HTP for the cocaine, as an attempt to get all, and the most of your natural serotonin flowing back. Just don't use any of them while on the drug, mixing two of anything chemical etc that work on the same neurotransmitters is never a good idea.
 
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