Mephedrone Addiction

[geordiejedi]

Yea I must admit I'm puzzled by the stories of people using this at work.



If I had a 250mg bomb of this at work, the pupils like saucers, non stop chatting and grinding my jaw like a loon would have the boss taking me in the office and asking if I'm OK within 10 minutes.

I don't understand how people can get away with it unnoticed?

yes i'm talking about fiending all night and thinking a little bump at 6.30am will see me right, then taking maybe only 125g snorted in the day. don't get me wrong i'm in a higher level position so lots of feeding the pond with eye problems and infections (in fact any reason for red eye) plus if you come in to work looking that way day after day it becomes the norm. I'm not saying it's right or acceptable just that i got away with it. it terrifies me now. not sure i really did just no-one challenged me.

 

[Disco Doctor]

Update - very ashamed to say I polised off the rest today, after all my distress about being so bloody stupid over the weekend. I told myself better to remove it from my room so I'm not tempted, so I'd be doing myself a favour by having it. What twisted logic. Didn't let myself consider throwing it away! But I haven't bought any more, and it is going to stay that way. I hope.

Don't buy any more dude! Like most drugs, the pangs of wanting to do them fade in time and you soon start getting high off being able to wake up in the morning without feeling like turd...

 

[effie]

Believe me, I won't be. My complete lack of will power for this drug has really scared me. I can't trust myself with it! It's all gone now, thank goodness..

 

[effie]

Well, haven't bought any today but I cannot stop thinking about it. I know this robably all sounds a bit silly, cos I've just had a stupid binge, but does anyone have any advice for how to stay strong? It's so tempting when all I need is a computer and a debit card

 

[Stashes]

Hi Effie

Best advice is to just find something else to occupy your mind until the compulsion goes away. Personally I find reading or exercise great for this.

I can totally sympathise with your first post. I've had many a weekend.... running into the weekdays like this! What I found getting worse and worse was how long the sessions were lasting. Each session myself and my mates were on were getting longer and longer to the point of being fucked for 5 days straight! I was missing work, or going into work and doing tiny little keys to keep me going through the day so I wouldn't crash. I decided that it was getting out of control when I began asking my family / ex to babysit my son when I was supposed to have him. Work is one thing. Fatherhood means everything to me.

As for it's addictiveness, it's the "pringles syndrome" - once you pop you can't stop. I find it easy enough to stay away from once I don't buy it - or people around me don't buy it. I've always been that way with drugs though. If they're there - I have to do them!! Otherwise I can stay away from them when I choose. Hope you find it the same!

Best of luck

 

[Stashes]

I'm simply stating mephedrone is not an addictive drug. Don't confuse enjoying something with it being addictive. Sex is enjoyable it is not addictive.

Not quite true - depending on your perception of what an addiction is.

Physically addictive? Probably not in the beginning however, like all drugs will alter your brain chemical levels therefore becoming physically addictive i.e. you need to take it just to feel "normal". This applies with all mood chemicals. Sex releases hormones.

Then there's also the possibility that addiction is genetic which some studies point towards. As neither a scientist or physcologist I wouldn't have a feckin clue but it is a possibility. My own belief though is that it's enviromental. Grandparent an alco. Parent an alco. Child an alco. That's what they grew up with and know and takes a concious effort not to become addicted.

There are 5 classic addictions in the world. Drugs, Drink, Gambling, Sex and Food. It's a bit blunt to say people do them because they simply enjoy them.

Sex Addiction - Go Chaz Michael Michaels

 

[effie]

Thanks Stashes, that was what I was thinking really - common sense but hard to do when all your mates are into it to! But yeah, I clearly can't stop once I pop so will try my best to keep that in mind if I am tempted

 

[The Kid]

Well, haven't bought any today but I cannot stop thinking about it. I know this robably all sounds a bit silly, cos I've just had a stupid binge, but does anyone have any advice for how to stay strong? It's so tempting when all I need is a computer and a debit card

Hi Effie, quick question; how old are you? Reason i ask is that through the billions of posts on BL regarding compulsive use, most folk who seem to have an issue with hoovering up the stuff day after day have been quite young (except for the geordiejedi).

I also find it hard to stop mid session, but i actually get bored of being high after say 12-14hrs. I make sure i can convince myself that stopping means more sleep and less sketchyness the next day. Sometime i even write "STOP SNORTING BY 8AM" by the mirror and the razor blade.

 

[tekkeN]

I know someone like this now, when first reading about it on here I found it hard to believe, how could someone take it heavily everyday practically? but a sort of friend of mine in Leeds is now doing a g everyday, and when he stops he says he's not doing anymore then a day or two later he binges again

 

[The Kid]

I know someone like this now, when first reading about it on here I found it hard to believe, how could someone take it heavily everyday practically? but a sort of friend of mine in Leeds is now doing a g everyday, and when he stops he says he's not doing anymore then a day or two later he binges again

My theory is that some people just have that addictive gene, and they're going to fuck up on something sooner or later, and others don't have the addictive gene and can manage a measured level of use/abuse without becoming addicted.

 

[Mailmonkey]

It's a wierd one, I have been addicted to speed, and had a long term coke habit....

I like meph, a lot, but only use it for a special occasion....

I've got a 10g bag sitting in me cupboard, but I've never felt the urge to just have a cheeky line....even now, if I had some coke in the house, I would be at it till it's gone.....

Al;so me and missis are pretty good at setting our limit, we decide how much and what time we gonna stop redosing, no problem, again, speed or coke I lose all that self control, and we keep doing "just one more"........

Dunno

Monk...x

 

[brokenbrain]

It to a great extent depends on Negative Feedback.
I've never been a full strength alky because my body will not let me, after 4 days hardcore eg 40 units drinking it gives up. I've never been a full FULL strength GBL addict eg the people who do it for 2 years straight, because my body starts disliking itself intensely after 7 day - 10 days and I have to come off it.Didn't occur at first though, as happens to many, so its possible that If I hadn't come off it after 6 days in 2005 I might still be on it. But I reckon not, as I can get negative feedback enough from reading all about it on here and erowid, which actually caused me to stop in 2006 after a time of doing it.

I reckon effie needs to
1.Read everything all over Bluelight, and ADD is the place for you!
2.If you really are an addict then find something else to replace it........easy enough to say I know,and in this respect boy am I a hippocrit, because I just swap one addiction for another,but its a start, if you are swapping much less damaging things for others.

 

[effie]

Hi Effie, quick question; how old are you? Reason i ask is that through the billions of posts on BL regarding compulsive use, most folk who seem to have an issue with hoovering up the stuff day after day have been quite young (except for the geordiejedi).

I also find it hard to stop mid session, but i actually get bored of being high after say 12-14hrs. I make sure i can convince myself that stopping means more sleep and less sketchyness the next day. Sometime i even write "STOP SNORTING BY 8AM" by the mirror and the razor blade.

I'm 25. Not sure if that counts as being quite young or not, haha!

My trouble is after the last line wears off I have several hours of feeling stimulated but quite anxious, and I know that one more line would make that go away. Obviously I know this is only delaying the inevitable, but it is quite a powerful urge to redose!

Anyway, 2 days without buying any, am pleased with myself. Thinking about it constantly but it's all in my mind, I'll be fine I am sure

 

[effie]

It to a great extent depends on Negative Feedback.
I've never been a full strength alky because my body will not let me, after 4 days hardcore eg 40 units drinking it gives up. I've never been a full FULL strength GBL addict eg the people who do it for 2 years straight, because my body starts disliking itself intensely after 7 day - 10 days and I have to come off it.Didn't occur at first though, as happens to many, so its possible that If I hadn't come off it after 6 days in 2005 I might still be on it. But I reckon not, as I can get negative feedback enough from reading all about it on here and erowid, which actually caused me to stop in 2006 after a time of doing it.

I reckon effie needs to
1.Read everything all over Bluelight, and ADD is the place for you!
2.If you really are an addict then find something else to replace it........easy enough to say I know,and in this respect boy am I a hippocrit, because I just swap one addiction for another,but its a start, if you are swapping much less damaging things for others.

Thank you, that's good advice! I'm not addicted I'm sure, it was a binge that went too far, but I keep thinking about it and planning ways of getting hold of some in my head (eg I could ask a mate for a little bit, so I'm not actually buying any..) I know I just need to stay away though, over 5g in less than a week is pretty horrific useage.

Thanks for the tips guys

 

[The Kid]

I'm 25. Not sure if that counts as being quite young or not, haha!

My trouble is after the last line wears off I have several hours of feeling stimulated but quite anxious, and I know that one more line would make that go away. Obviously I know this is only delaying the inevitable, but it is quite a powerful urge to redose!

Anyway, 2 days without buying any, am pleased with myself. Thinking about it constantly but it's all in my mind, I'll be fine I am sure

Nah, that's not young! Some of the folk on here are still doing their GCSE's. :D

Maybe the trick is not to do it during the day? I can see that i would have trouble stopping if it was only say 6pm, but at 7am i always feel it's close to finishing time, no matter what drug i'm on. Plus I don't ever feel anxious....which i guess is a big plus point. And i live in a place where meph is illegal to import so i don't have the ability just to get some more.

2 days is good.

 

[Stashes]

Lots of good advice here effie, and other concerned parties reading this.

Ah addictions. I love this thread. It brings a lot home. I read about the people others know on meph and how messed up it all is. I read my own advice and find it ironic that I am able to detach myself so much and be so objective about addictions.

"All this has happened before. And all this will happen again"

Lets just concentrate on meph here since it's the relevant thread. It's now the sixth day of my current binge. It started last Saturday with some mates. The girl who we all know and warned beforehand started it as per usual. Don't get me wrong - I'm not placing blame. It didn't take much persuassion for me to go along with her and buy the meph. Just a little snaffle of it Sat night and I'll be grand Sunday. Hey, I've been grand so far!

I knew. Fuck, if there's one thing I know from my experiences so far in life, it's me. However, I didn't give a shit. I still don't.

In fairness, I love the meph sessions. Really love them. We have such a good buzz. We're all a fairly good bunch of people and we always have craic with or without drugs. So, the session lasts all weekend. Me though, I have a kid. A career. I can't let this shit fuck up all that! So I stop Sunday afternoon. Still fairly wired and buzzin but with meph I can "be normal". So I think anyway. And I must. I've been stopped by cops so many times and I just chat away with them and they never ask questions or supect anything. I attend meetings and nobody seems to notice. My family don't notice. The only friends that notice are the one's I tell.

How the fuck do they not notice??? I am fucking wired to the moon. I am literally hopping. Jittery as fuck. Do I really control it that much that nobody notices? Possibly! One thing I've really noticed lately is that when I'm in my gaf / work / ma's gaf on my own and I look in the mirror my pupils are dilated. But if people are around, and again I go to the bathroom and check my pupils they're normal. Fucking wierd. Mind over matter maybe.

I digress. Let me at this point apologise for the rambling nature of this post!!

So Sunday night I put my kid to bed. I start on the meph again and go most of the night. Sleep a few hours, get up, bring him to school and go to work. (Should point out here so not to scare anyone... I stay with my family days I have my son!). I know I'm fucked in work. Bags under my eyes. Brain not working properly at all - ah, I wonder how to sort this shit out? How am I going to manage a day in a busy, challenging, thought provoking, high responsibilty job?? Yep. You guessed it.

My week has been like that so far. Since I first found Meph I've lost count of how many weeks have been like that. How I have not fucked up majorly in work is beyond me..... Shit, I must be coming down. They haven't all been feckin like that. The way the mind works at times is mad! To think properly about it - since August 09, I have had maybe 6 weeks that have been as crazy as this.

Another ironic thing I read in this thread is the quantities mentioned. Shit lads, 1-2 g a day? I average about 4g a day. And not because of increasing dosage. The very first bag I bought last August got me pretty much as wired as now and the bag was gone in a few hours. The difference is now my days last 20 - 24 hours when I'm on it. It may be that the stuff in Irish head shops is low grade. But - it's better grade than the mephedrone I tried in a Manchester head shop.

Well, I've shited on long enough now and probably bored half ye to death. The other half may be horrified.

Now, bit of meph to come up again and put the above in a different perspective than my come-down perception of things! 8)

Aaahhhh yes

This is an addiction. Nothing less. Nothing more. What type of addiction? Purely psychological long term (no withdrawal symptoms or uncontrollable cravings). Physical short term (the compulsion to redose). I have beaten worse addictions in the past. I have good role models in my life. I have everything to live for. I may not feel it now hence the inherent negativity in this post. It takes a few days for my brain to return to normal and actually "feel" positive

Wake the fuck up lad. Brilliant happy child. A personality almost everyone seems to like. Young and good looking. My company taking off and making me money despite a recession. Beautiful women. Great friends. Exams I pass with very little study. My life is pretty fucking good.I seem to only remember this shit a few days after the binge ends! %)

 

[7zark7]

I've got a 10g bag sitting in me cupboard, but I've never felt the urge to just have a cheeky line....even now

I never feel like having any meph either... until I actually have some...

 

[The Kid]

Shit lads, 1-2 g a day? I average about 4g a day.

Carry on like that and you're going to be pretty fucked up.

Think of your kiddie next time you're railing a line at 10am on a Weds in trap 1 at work. Think of the fact that you've got a decent enough job and some decent wedge......or make sure you remember what it was like to have a decent job and some cash to spend because I can guarantee that a 4g a day habit will soon result in you fucking up at work.

Nevermind the health issues........

 

[effie]

Stashes..

I know how you feel. I seem to have a pretty good life too. No major disasters, anyway, even if it is hard at times. We don't have the excuse of hiding away from our problems. I think that if you are like me you are probably just hedonistic and enjoy buzz. Nothing wrong with that, until it starts to affect yout life and other people in it..

Had been ridiculously hard for me not to buy any more, even though I know this is only a psychological problem as I have no physical symtoms. However, today I am a bit less tempted than I was yesterday, because I am no longer feeling down in the dumps and mentally drained from my binge. I reckon tomorrow I'll be even less tempted, especially if I start filling my life with other things that make me happy. Off swimming in a bit, planning a night in with my boy, getting stuck in to my job and remembering how rewarding it is. Also thinking about how disappointed he would be if I fucked up with this stuff, and how my parents would feel, and my friends.. tis not worth it, just for a short lived buzz that gets increasingly harder to recreate, from a research chemical with potentially extremely toxic side effects. I am sure you feel invincible at the moment, but no one is, and I am positive that you do not want to put your family through the pain of seeing you damage yourself with this shitty drug.

Read the whole of this thread, angelfire and mugabe put it better than I could and they have a lot more experience than me. It is not worth it!

Best of luck, thanks for your comments and I hope you decide to give up the meph

 

[Stashes]

I think that if you are like me you are probably just hedonistic and enjoy buzz.

That's exactly it. I've no emotional issues which turn me towards drugs. If I did I'd have been fucked long ago! I just love to party.

Meph is fucking crazy! I wouldn't say I feel invincible when I am on meph. Life treats me well in the main and I tend to feel invincible when I'm sober. If anything, meph brings me down. Depression isn't something that comes naturally to me but by god, does meph bring it on!

Last night was a wierd buzz. I was coming down while on meph. The high from it was very short lived. I'd say maybe only a half hour with each line. Fuckin hell. A six day binge. It's only hitting me today how fucked up that is. Strangely, I feel grand. The fear is non-existent. After my last 2 binges I had the fear. Big time. Not for long, but for a day or two after I stopped I had that panicky feeling with no explanation (except the knowledge you just spent the last few days fucking with your brain chemicals!).

I can guarantee that a 4g a day habit will soon result in you fucking up at work.

I would imagine so! I hope a ban is brought in soon in Ireland. It's the availability and price that does it for me. I can stay away from other drugs as I choose - so long as I haven't bought them.

Looking back today, I am completely turned off meph. The smell, the nasal pain, the whole effects and I am just wondering what was I doing the last 6 days?! Sure I can understand why I took it last Saturday but why keep going? fucked up!

In saying that, chances are there'll be another session in a few weeks time