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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Felt pretty decent today, had a good bit of anxiety due to a social situation but it was well managed. Last night was a different story.

Last night I had suicidal ideation and a panic attack for the first time in awhile due to a trigger. I hate suicidal ideation and panic attacks. They seem to always come in a combination for me.

OH! And I found more Vraylar! So I have four more months worth of my antipsychotic that I can no longer afford. I rue the day I have to come off of it though and WD ):
 
Grandpa died a few days ago.
I feel trapped. Im too dependent on another person regarding bensos and lyrica. Hes so jealous too now all of a sudden. Hes on my phone when im not in the room.
Im barely keeping up with cleaning and doing dishes and stuff my back hurts from sitting in a bed. Too scared of people to go outside. Too poor to substain my addiction on my own.
Im barely getting by. Fucking lyrica it destroys me. Have to go now hes cominc back from work.
Cya later blue friends
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Grandpa died a few days ago.
I feel trapped. Im too dependent on another person regarding bensos and lyrica. Hes so jealous too now all of a sudden. Hes on my phone when im not in the room.
Im barely keeping up with cleaning and doing dishes and stuff my back hurts from sitting in a bed. Too scared of people to go outside. Too poor to substain my addiction on my own.
Im barely getting by. Fucking lyrica it destroys me. Have to go now hes cominc back from work.
Cya later blue friends
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Thanks for reaching out. We are always here for you<3
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Grandpa died a few days ago.
I feel trapped. Im too dependent on another person regarding bensos and lyrica. Hes so jealous too now all of a sudden. Hes on my phone when im not in the room.
Im barely keeping up with cleaning and doing dishes and stuff my back hurts from sitting in a bed. Too scared of people to go outside. Too poor to substain my addiction on my own.
Im barely getting by. Fucking lyrica it destroys me. Have to go now hes cominc back from work.
Cya later blue friends
Click to expand...
I am sorry to hear about your grandpa :( And I am so sad to hear you're in this situation with your partner. I have been in a couple of abusive relationships so I know how much of an emotional prison it is. Do you think you could find the strength to leave him?? It's not healthy for you to be with him.
 
I thought he was "normal" but things are coming up to the surface. Cant end this now, relying on him for bensos and lyrica. Plus i like him and he's nice its just the jelaousy thing that bothers me. Afraid he will be like all the other guys i met (Narcissistic). I dont know. Almost hooked on subutex now also fucking shit.
Not doing good. I dont want to be "normal" yet I want to go to raves and festivals, he says he dont like that kind of stuff and that hes too old for that
T h i s wasnt really coheasive (?) at all sorry
 
Im not doing good. Either he is getting worse or im just paranoid. Still reliant on him for drugs. Had a fight yesterday and this morning. Usually we dont fight. He is unreasonable when we discuss things. Or maybe im in the wrong here. Idk.
Ptsd has been worse the last week. Mostly from people calling that i dont want to think about at all. I hate who i was a few months ago and its still coming back to haunt me i have to change my number and social media accounts
 
Hypomanic. Gotta up my Seroquel XR dose, but it's such a dirty drug so I don't want to. I'd like to add Lamictal as it's apparently quite the common combo, maybe it would help with the depressive episodes.

I'm doing nothing really, waiting until I can go to a more specialized hospital, they classified me as an emergency but it still takes a while :S.
 
Crying, depressed, tired and sick from not eating properly in weeks due to withdrawal and need to act normal as in about an hour when my dad's visiting as he has no idea

How do you pretend to be happy when you're legit crying every few minutes, valium kick in before my dad arrives please as I can't fucking cope, can't fucking stand up I'm so weak from hunger, I'm a mess so thin, I'm just going to worry him if he sees me like this
 
Hippy Flower Fairy said:
Crying, depressed, tired and sick from not eating properly in weeks due to withdrawal and need to act normal as in about an hour when my dad's visiting as he has no idea

How do you pretend to be happy when you're legit crying every few minutes, valium kick in before my dad arrives please as I can't fucking cope, can't fucking stand up I'm so weak from hunger, I'm a mess so thin, I'm just going to worry him if he sees me like this
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Can you just say you're coming down with a head cold??
 
Buzz Lightbeer said:
I'm in so much pain, I've doubled my Quetiapine XR dose, 300mg now, it's supposed to be a therapeutic mood stabilizing dose.
It hurts, I want to be numb, I can only wait and pray it's just a one off and it's not gonna be like this for weeks.
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Hang in there, I'm sure it'll get better!

As for me I'm feeling lonely as hell. All my loved ones are far away for me or busy. I have my usual chronic pain and I'm feeling really lonely without my girlfriend. Plus, I'm all alone in this huge apartment. ;w;

💜
 
Im not doing good. "Worked" a night with my new friend a few weeks ago so money is not a problem yet. She is like my only friend too, thats pretty sad but im glad I got her in my life.
Met the worst person ever (narcissist) and i cant seem to keep away from him even though hes just like my stalker ex. Idk its a kind of self harm i guess. He lives like 3 minutes away so that sucks. He told me he raped his ex gf (but that she liked it??????) and he told me this during sex.??????
Still on bensos and lyrica daily. Everything sucks.
 
schizopath said:
Sooo, 2 years after my last psychedelic use finally went and did some shrooms 😁 Feel quite a bit more clearer and sharper now. Feel like I also overcame an old trauma and have new self-respect for myself 🖤
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I'm actually really very pleased to hear that, i recall you maybe 11 weeks ago, looking to tackle this. With some apprehension.

I think I tried to offer some positive encouragement. Healing is there.

Well done. Step at a time.
 
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