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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

CoastTwoCoast said:
With the klonopin, I'm ready to go out and do so many things I was afraid to do without it. It opens the door to more opportunities.
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That's awesome. What do you plan on doing now?

I'll let you know. My psychiatrist is really good, he may even come up with some cool combination that i never thought of. He was nice enough to get me off lithium and replace it with lamictal, which is more of a depression killer as opposed to a mania killer - he knows i enjoy my little hypomanic episodes and with lamictal i can still have those, as evident by this summer. It wasn't too destructive, but i think concerta would be the perfect addition to keep me focused on work and on things i enjoy instead of getting high and acting out. Then again, too much stimulation would be bad. Maybe he replaces vraylar with a more sedating AP, because i was off vraylar for 5 days due to a miscalculation by my nurse, and it didn't effect me one bit. I think lamictal, concerta, and a low dose of seroquel might be a great combination too instead of johnnies. I've tried both seroquel and Gabapentin, and i think a low dose of seroquel helped. Whatever - one thing at a time. Start with concerta, hopefully, and see how it goes. It's turning into fall quickly too, and i've already been masturbating, drinking coffee and snorting benadryl far less than last week. So now is a great time to try it out.

Yes, mischievous is the right word. ;)
 
madness00 said:
That's awesome. What do you plan on doing now?

I'll let you know. My psychiatrist is really good, he may even come up with some cool combination that i never thought of. He was nice enough to get me off lithium and replace it with lamictal, which is more of a depression killer as opposed to a mania killer - he knows i enjoy my little hypomanic episodes and with lamictal i can still have those, as evident by this summer. It wasn't too destructive, but i think concerta would be the perfect addition to keep me focused on work and on things i enjoy instead of getting high and acting out. Then again, too much stimulation would be bad. Maybe he replaces vraylar with a more sedating AP, because i was off vraylar for 5 days due to a miscalculation by my nurse, and it didn't effect me one bit. I think lamictal, concerta, and a low dose of seroquel might be a great combination too instead of johnnies. I've tried both seroquel and Gabapentin, and i think a low dose of seroquel helped. Whatever - one thing at a time. Start with concerta, hopefully, and see how it goes. It's turning into fall quickly too, and i've already been masturbating, drinking coffee and snorting benadryl far less than last week. So now is a great time to try it out.

Yes, mischievous is the right word. ;)
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I plan on hanging out with my ex I've been in the longest relationship with. We were together like 8 years. He was the healthiest relationship I've had. After not being in touch for a few years, now we talk every single day, I just couldn't feel comfortable enough to go hang out. My nerves always got the best of me. So now with klonopin, I can get the fuck over there finally. He just got a cute little black kitty and he has a gorgeous pit bull. It would be a fun scene. He said "If you ever come out of your dungeon, I can show you the 4K picture on my television." lol
We're best friends, I'm not planning on getting back with him.

I also want to start going to church, get baptized and join groups.

Yes, it's a great time for you to try Concerta. Just remember if it's too stimulating, ask for some Gabapentin to level it off. A low dose of Seroquel would work too if you'd prefer that. :)
 
That's awesome having that type of relationship. One of my ex's just started her own company and is moving to NY. We plan on meeting up. It was only a 3 month relationship (typical for me) but it wasn't bad, we just both moved home after the last semester of college.

Church! NO MOM NOT THIS WEEK! I'm glad you find it cool though. You have such healthy plans that's awesome.

Keep us updated.

How's everyone else doing??
 
madness00 said:
That's awesome having that type of relationship. One of my ex's just started her own company and is moving to NY. We plan on meeting up. It was only a 3 month relationship (typical for me) but it wasn't bad, we just both moved home after the last semester of college.

Church! NO MOM NOT THIS WEEK! I'm glad you find it cool though. You have such healthy plans that's awesome.

Keep us updated.

How's everyone else doing??
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Wait, are you in Boston or NY? I thought it was Boston.

Forgot to mention my friend is obsessed with playing hockey. When we were together, he took me to see the Red Wings. I was the only black person there. lol It was fun. He wants to teach me to ice skate. Should be cool.
 
Im in Boston.

Ahem.. sorry.. you're black? That's fucking dope aren't blondes wicked bleh??

Sorry I drank a bit.

What I mean to say is I fully appreciate your ethnicity. Truely.

Yikes I'm so cringe worthy. IDK what I'm tryna say nice to meet you though :) :)
 
madness00 said:
Im in Boston.

Ahem.. sorry.. you're black? That's fucking dope aren't blondes wicked bleh??

Sorry I drank a bit.

What I mean to say is I fully appreciate your ethnicity. Truely.

Yikes I'm so cringe worthy. IDK what I'm tryna say nice to meet you though :) :)
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Haha It's all good. Yes, I'm black (caramel complexion) with long, naturally curly dark brown hair. I used to dye it purple or red. When I met Marc Maron after his gig and took a pic with him, it was red. Yes, blondes are very blah. It's so typical.

Nice to meet you too! hehe
 
Damn I feel like an asshole making your color a big deal.

I fucking ruined it. RUINED IT. Good thing you're sweet, though.

Anyfuckinway, how's everyone doing lol.
 
Sleeping a lot.. then waking up at 4AM jamming to Pink Floyd.. I'm all over the place. I think I'm coming down from a very mild weather induced hypomania.

How's everyone?
 
I used to get manic every week of March 20-30 for a month or two like clockwork, as a seasonal change/vernal equinox, but this time it hit me in May/June, very mildly. Nothing even close to what I'd experience off meds.
 
madness00 said:
I used to get manic every week of March 20-30 for a month or two like clockwork, as a seasonal change/vernal equinox, but this time it hit me in May/June, very mildly. Nothing even close to what I'd experience off meds.
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Wow, that's fascinating...weather induced mania. Mine was never triggered by seasons.

I'm excited because I'm going to get an Abyssinian guinea pig next month. They're so cute! It'll be good for my mental health.
 

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"weather changes moods.. spring is here again.. reproductive gland.." - Kurt Cobain

Aww how cute. Me and my friend in elementary used to spin hamsters on their wheel and fling them across the room.. glad the guinea pig is going to a responsible owner.
 
PMDD here. Yesterday was one of the "bad days". I just took it easy and luckily didn't have to work. This stuff is no joke and I hate waiting on the next cycle. I miss work from it probably at least 3 times a year
 
My mind is a little fucked as I spent too much money last eve. Felt great and lasted through til... well, it's still "on".
Gotta admit I am a little scared of chasing/spending.
Not feeling the greatest and just buggin in my head and that could run amok.
Damn, how can one feel bad and good at the same time? Never understood that but maybe if I stay here I can figure it out eventually and be done with it? Ha
Getting paid tomorrow and taking wife to grocery store will get me back to "base" partial reality. Too old to be fucking up as responsibilities call. It is nice to "disconnect" once in a while for my sanity but the aftermath is sometimes not pretty.
Just spooked of liking it so much can become an issue.
MF dope man coming on to me. WTF? All good. Nice to get a blessing but I do not give off any vibes other than grab and go. Fuck all the bullshit I'm going to get high, bye.
Good to type this out. It equals a scream of despair.
Thanks
Peace
 
@PtahTek Is the overspending and emotional instability caused by drug use? I hope you're ok.

Ain'tLifeGrand said:
PMDD here. Yesterday was one of the "bad days". I just took it easy and luckily didn't have to work. This stuff is no joke and I hate waiting on the next cycle. I miss work from it probably at least 3 times a year
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Oh I feel your pain. PMDD used to ruin 2 weeks out of every month because the awful emotional problems would start a week before my period. The depression felt like my whole family died, doom and gloom, suicidal. Birth control cleared it all up. I take the pill so that I don't get my period anymore. I haven't experienced PMDD in a year and I wish I started birth control a decade ago. It would've saved me a lot of torture. Have you considered birth control? I take Cryselle.

madness00 said:
"weather changes moods.. spring is here again.. reproductive gland.." - Kurt Cobain

Aww how cute. Me and my friend in elementary used to spin hamsters on their wheel and fling them across the room.. glad the guinea pig is going to a responsible owner.
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LOL! That's fucked up. You just reminded me of the time my lil' bro' brought the class hamster home. It escaped out of the cage. I tried to pick it up and the lil' fucker bit me. It had a hold of my finger. I freaked out and when I shook my hand free, the hamster flew up against the wall. Ooops. hehe I've read guinea pigs don't bite so that's good.
 
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PtahTek said:
My mind is a little fucked as I spent too much money last eve. Felt great and lasted through til... well, it's still "on".
Gotta admit I am a little scared of chasing/spending.
Not feeling the greatest and just buggin in my head and that could run amok.
Damn, how can one feel bad and good at the same time? Never understood that but maybe if I stay here I can figure it out eventually and be done with it? Ha
Getting paid tomorrow and taking wife to grocery store will get me back to "base" partial reality. Too old to be fucking up as responsibilities call. It is nice to "disconnect" once in a while for my sanity but the aftermath is sometimes not pretty.
Just spooked of liking it so much can become an issue.
MF dope man coming on to me. WTF? All good. Nice to get a blessing but I do not give off any vibes other than grab and go. Fuck all the bullshit I'm going to get high, bye.
Good to type this out. It equals a scream of despair.
Thanks
Peace
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It's quite bizarre, the feelings of drug/alcohol induced euphoria with the underlying base feelings of despair. Not sure if that's how you're feeling, but that's certainly me at the moment.
 
mal3volent said:
It's quite bizarre, the feelings of drug/alcohol induced euphoria with the underlying base feelings of despair.
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I'm fairly sue this (^) sums it up nicely.
Kinda makes decision making a tad unpredictable: Just gotta remember that it can be worse or better. When I go out tomorrow to bustle with johnny p things will get back in perspective? Ha Can't wait... productivity may get me back on track.
bizarre....
:ROFLMAO:/:sus:

CoastTwoCoast said:
Is the overspending and emotional instability caused by drug use? I hope you're ok.
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Yeah, all is well. Just whining, I guess. I feel great. :) And not so great. Ha
Despair comes from fear of losing my balance and falling off. It's cool. Always keep my feet on the ground. Fear of not being the best SO I can be. I care for very little physically but not seeing that beautiful smile on her face can be quite disturbing.
Thanks,
One

Edit: How can I not be OK? I'm here with you guys as opposed to laying in a ditch somewhere and causing despair on others. I love you all and appreciate the hell out of BL.
 
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PtahTek, i remember when you used to rarely post, but i'm really happy to see you more active :)

Being productive and keeping your hands busy definitely will help keep you on track, i would think.

Keep that mrs. happy! But as much as you like the smile on her face, i'm sure she likes a smile on yours.
 
@madness00 Here's some more therapy homework:

Based on the mood ratings you recorded on the Activity Monitoring Worksheet: determine which activities helped you to feel more positive (UP activities) and which led to feeling down (DOWN activities)

They want you to list UP and DOWN activities

On one side, list "Antidepressant/UP Activities" and on the other side, list "Depressant/DOWN Activities"

Like what have you been doing this past week that has made you feel "UP" and what have you been doing that makes you feel "DOWN"

"In Behavioral Activation, one of our aims is to increase "UP" activities and decrease "DOWN" activities. Over the next section we will learn more about the type of activities that will lead to better mood, to add to the list above. Over time, we can replace the "DOWN" activities with more "UP" ones"

Here are some examples of activities that tend to increase pleasure. You might think of more that are not listed. Write down the ones that you think could lead to enjoyment for yourself:

1. Soaking in the bathtub
2. Planning my career
3. Collecting things (coins, shells, etc)
4. Going for a vacation
5. Recycling old items
6. Relaxing
7. Going on a date
8. Going to a movie
9. Jogging, walking
10. Listening to music
11. Thinking I have done a full day's work
12. Recalling past parties
13. Buying household gadgets
14. Lying in the sun
15. Planning a career change
16. Laughing
17. Thinking about my past trips
18. Listening to others
19. Reading magazines or newspapers
20. Hobbies (stamp collecting, model building, etc)
21. Spending an evening with good friends
22. Planning a day's activities
23. Meeting new people
24. Remembering beautiful scenery
25. Saving money
26. Gambling
27. Going to the gym, doing aerobics
28. Eating
29. Thinking how it will be when I finish school
30. Getting out of debt/paying debts
31. Practicing karate, judo. yoga
32. Thinking about retirement
33. Repairing things around the house
34. Working on my car (bicycle)
35. Remembering the words and deeds of loving people
36. Wearing sexy clothes
37. Having quiet evenings
38. Taking care of my plants
39. Buying, selling stocks and shares
40. Going swimming
41. Doodling
42. Exercising
43. Collecting old things
44. Going to a party
45. Thinking about buying things
46. Playing golf
47. Playing soccer
48. Flying kites
49. Having discussions with friends
50. Having family get-togethers
51. Riding a motorcycle
52. Sex
53. Playing squash
54. Going camping
55. Singing around the house
56. Arranging flowers
57. Going to church, praying (practicing religion)
58. Losing weight
59. Going to the beach
60. Thinking I'm an OK person
61. A day with nothing to do
62. Having class reunions
63. Going ice skating, roller skating/blading
64. Going sailing
65. Traveling abroad, interstate or within the state
66. Sketching, painting
67. Blowing bubbles
68. Doing embroidery, cross stitching
69. Sleeping
70. Driving
71. Entertaining
72. Going to clubs (garden, sewing, etc)
73. Thinking about getting married
74. Going bird watching
75. Singing with groups
76. Flirting
77. Playing musical instruments
78. Doing arts and crafts
79. Making a gift for someone
80. Buying CDs, tapes, records
81. Watching boxing, wrestling
82. Planning parties
83. Cooking, baking
84. Going hiking, bush walking
85. Writing books (poems, articles)
86. Sewing
87. Buying clothes
88. Working
89. Going out to dinner
90. Discussing books
91. Sightseeing
92. Gardening
93. Going to the beauty salon
94. Early morning coffee and newspaper
95. Playing tennis
96. Kissing
97. Watching my children (play)
98. Thinking I have a lot going for me
99. Going to plays and concerts
100. Daydreaming
101. Planning to go to college or university
102. Going for a drive
103. Listening to a stereo
104. Refinishing furniture
105. Watching videos or DVDs
106. Making lists of tasks
107. Going bike riding
108. Walks on the riverfront/shoreline
109. Buying gifts
110. Traveling to national parks
111. Completing a task
112. Thinking about my achievements
113. Going to a sporting event
114. Eating gooey, fattening foods
115. Exchanging emails, chatting on the internet
116. Photography
117. Going fishing
118. Thinking about pleasant events
119. Staying on a diet
120. Star gazing
121. Flying a plane
122. Reading fiction
123. Acting
124. Being alone
125. Writing diary/journal entries or letters
126. Cleaning
127. Reading non-fiction
128. Taking children places
129. Dancing
130. Going on a picnic
131. Thinking "I did that pretty well" after doing something
132. Meditating/Mindfulness exercises
133. Playing volleyball
134. Having lunch with a friend
135. Making a gratitude list
136. Thinking about having a family
137. Thoughts about happy moments in my childhood
138. Splurging
139. Playing cards
140. Having a political discussion
141. Solving riddles mentally
142. Playing tennis
143. Seeing and/or showing photos or slides
144. Knitting/crocheting/quilting
145. Doing crossword puzzles
146. Shooting pool/Playing billiards
147. Dressing up and looking nice
148. Reflecting on how I've improved
149. Buying things for myself
150. Talking on the phone
151. Going to museums, art galleries
152. Thinking religious thoughts
153. Surfing the internet
154. Lighting candles
155. Listening to the radio
156. Spending time in nature
157. Having coffee at a cafe
158. Getting/giving advice
159. Saying "I love you"
160. Thinking about my good qualities
161. Buying books
162. Having a spa, or sauna
163. Going skiing
164. Going canoeing or white-water rafting
165. Going bowling
166. Doing woodworking
167. Fantasizing about the future
168. Doing ballet, jazz/tap dancing
169. Debating
170. Playing computer games
171. Having an aquarium
172. Erotica (sex books, movies)
173. Going horseback riding
174. Going rock climbing
175. Thinking about becoming active in the community
176. Doing something new
177. Making jigsaw puzzles
178. Thinking I'm a person who can cope
179. Playing with my pets
180. Having a barbecue
181. Rearranging the furniture in my house
182. Buying new furniture
183. Going window shopping
184. Saying yes to an opportunity
 
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