What medication are you on if you don't mind me asking? I'm unmedicated for now
Lamotrigne, lorazepam, and gabapentin. The Gabapentin is a dual purpose medication for neuropathy pain and off label to help with anxiety and bipolar disorder. The lamotrigine has evened me out more than anything ever has but it’s not a cure by any means.
There are no good medications. I'm going to try triacytluridine and hope it helps.
I have to beg to differ gettin on medications have been the best move I ever made in my life.. it’s taken years to figure out what works but aside from minor adjustments here and there what I’m on has improved my quality of life 10 fold easily.. there’s help out there it just takes time.
Interesting. I might try Lamictal because if I am bipolar it's mostly In the depressive state. But I've come off all meds hoping it was a misdiagnosis and that I can heal with pshcbedelics.. I hear you can still take them with lamogrigkne which is unique
I empathise bro truly. I’ve lived with lifelong clinical, not bipolar depression, but I know unbearable extremes.
I have a comparable sporadic, unpredictable polydrug usage profile. Probably different substances, but my point is that drugs like SSRIs that are intended to work after a long period of continuous use just don't work for me. I can get a little, 2-3 day boost out of each one, but I end up basically "chasing the dragon" for that beneficent SSRI effect that never hits again.Aight y'all. So been on some SSRIs recently which seem to be doing exactly diddly squat. Arguably, could be related to my insistence to augment them with an array of other inadvisable drugs. Now riding a mild clonazepam habit, I hesitate to say "dependence" because it's still early days but I am going to have to taper or maybe I'll just jump off, have a shitload of gabapentin on hand for that. Have basically taken 4mg/day nope that's a lie 6mg/day alternating days for the last 4 days with just gabapentin in between. Currently it's a 4mg day and I plan to keep it that way. Actually this time round I'm not liking clonazepam nearly as much as my first go round six months back where the highly selective anxiolysis compared to sedation was something I really liked about it, would much prefer etizolam or diazepam to ride out my rapid taper this time, and should have some soon, but not currently.
I would just jump to the gabapentin right away if it wasn't for some god damn fucking work stress that is always the fucking reason I end up mentally spiralling and eventually turn to something druglike to cope with the anxiety. I'm pretty confident my "Generalised" anxiety diagnosis, in actuality could be put down quite easily to a "Specifically Situational" anxiety related to my current on paper quite easy but in reality because of various factors too laborious to go into work situation, which my brain is basically primed to react with severe irrational dread to by now.
I need to be at least somewhat functional, intermittently highly functional on occasion, for almost exactly 1 more month if I'm gonna orchestrate this shit for maximum benefit and minimum required damage control, and on that note I'm considering just getting some high grade racemic amphetamine again, it wasn't sustainable for me last time but, it doesn't need to be, I've learned some lessons about myself since then and the glacial pace of orchestrating a legitimate prescription for something is too long for me to wait. So, my own doctor I'll be for just a little longer while massively playing down that aspect of my life to the real doctors, psychiatrists and therapists I might happen to speak to in the interim, so as not to bias things against myself due to institutionalised bias against self medicators - oh I'm sorry, I mean dirty substance abusing drug addicts.
Yeah... I think that's where I'm at and I feel alright about this plan, although maybe that's the benzoid-disinhibition. I'll take that self confidence though, artificially induced or not.
A disadvantage of sporadic drug usage that I've noticed since getting almost entirely clean and then indulging in a brief period of benzodiazepine use again is that while I was in the low-tolerance honeymoon of etizolam use, after a long period of abstinence, I got back into the online dating scene and have been messaging all these women trying to set up some dates. But now I'm a bit deeper in and therefore no longer quite so completely if artificially self-assured, I'm concerned that I'm actually gonna be a bit unstable for a short period while I get myself back on the straight and narrow... so am gonna have to try to postpone these pending dates while I rapid taper and washout while also keeping these girls interested. I don't really wanna meet anyone while basically high and risk underdosing, and being all anxious, or overdoing it slightly and being way too manic. I'm sure I've done both things historically before I recognised the value in knowing how your mind functions while on a solid sober baseline, mind.
Anyway... hope everyone is doing as well as you are able in this moment in your lives, in this fragment of eternity. As ever - I wish you all happiness. May you all be well.
Your overuse has reminded me of myself back in the day. Hopefully you don't suffer as much as me trying to reintegrate back into society but its a nice reminder
Thanks for the hope you wish for me. It was an interesting experiment. After 25 years, I realised how it was a deep desire of mine to really go bonkers on LSD specifically.
I’m thinking of you!Thanks @MsDiz i appreaciate your support
I bought benso yesterday for the trial. And took 600mg preg and 1mg alprazolam yesterday to relax a bit. But. I woke up a couple of minutes ago. ON THE FUCKING FLOOR LOL wtf?? Must have fallen over and just fall asleep. I usually take atleast 900-1200mg preg, so I guess I was kinda exhausted yesterday. Lol.
The meds are still kinda working so not so much anxiety right now. But i have to remember stuff and call my lawyer and the prosecuter today. And read trough the last stuff I havent yet, like my own hearings. Fucking torture. Exactly 25 hours until the trial now. Im dying over here. Yeah the anxiety is back now..
I have a friend whose job means they have to go into court to testify fairly regularly. She gets too dull to do her work when taking a benzo like Valium, so now she takes propanolol instead and says it works like a champ. Something to consider, maybe.Thanks @MsDiz i appreaciate your support
I bought benso yesterday for the trial. And took 600mg preg and 1mg alprazolam yesterday to relax a bit. But. I woke up a couple of minutes ago. ON THE FUCKING FLOOR LOL wtf?? Must have fallen over and just fall asleep. I usually take atleast 900-1200mg preg, so I guess I was kinda exhausted yesterday. Lol.
The meds are still kinda working so not so much anxiety right now. But i have to remember stuff and call my lawyer and the prosecuter today. And read trough the last stuff I havent yet, like my own hearings. Fucking torture. Exactly 25 hours until the trial now. Im dying over here. Yeah the anxiety is back now..
My only side effect has been a large decrease in sexuality.. like the plumbing works but I’m just not interested in using the faucet anymore if that makes sense.. it sucks but it’s better than being suicidal all the time so I guess I’ll take it@on.my.way🌿 ^^^
Not at all, I posted about it yesterday, but probably got long winded and it wasnt read! Happens a lot with me.
Same goes for about a half dozen people I know who are still taking it, no side effects at all, and good prophylactic effect for depression. One person had a slight rash that went away right after the first couple days on it.
This was a long time ago so my research is not fresh in my mind now, and I’d have to do it again to get sources, but anecdotally I did a lot of research into Lamictal and libido. Turns out there are a lot of people, mostly purported females, that equate it with female Viagra. Take that with a grain of salt, since then I’ve learned that you can find anything you need to confirm any conspiracy you want, when you search in that shithole Reddit.
I’ve seen a lot of people when they were coming out of it. Most of them seem to like how they felt after, but I don’t know how well they thought of it long term. In my opinion the people that get it are so far gone, their depression doesn’t seem like yours, from what I can glean from knowing you just a week or two in this format and forum. You seem more like a guy with facets that may look like a depressive personality, but do not define you. You are cogent and friendly and playful and sometimes uplifting, the people I’m thinking of can’t access anything like that.
