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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

on.my.way🌿 said:
Alcohol is the worst drug of them all. Had a huge fight two days ago with my husband when we were drinking. Now I have a concussion and is too bruised up to go outside. Ugh. Never have this happened on any other drug than alcohol.
I don't want you guys to get the wrong impression of my husband, he never laid a hand on me, just one other time when we also were drinking. And I gave him a few scratshes and bruises too both times so.. Still not ok though but he's no wife beater.
I hate not being able to go outside and I hate being this tired from the concussion. As soon as I lay down I get so tired I'll fall asleep.


And on wednesday there is a new police hearing regarding my abusive stalker ex. The police have found a film that I have to watch to assess if the sex in it was concesual or not. Im worried they only have found one film, since I know now he had the webcam on the whole time every time I was at his place. Oh well, they have fucking 14 TB of material to go through, so they might find more.


Much love to you all blue friends, and im so thankful for this thread, I don't know what I would do if I did not have an outlet like this for my emotions.
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Sorry to hear about what you are going through, I hope things get better for you and your bruises heal up quick.

Yes alcohol is the worst drug, that’s why I don’t drink anymore.
 
copium7777 said:
I'm basically ready to die immediately. It's both mental problem and not.. in That Its experienced as depression but is secondary depression and grief due to dealing w loss of my life due to chronic illnesses
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It's tough sometimes to find things to live for. Things worth living for. But we have so many things not yet experienced that it'd be a shame to leave life before trying them, IMO at least.

Hope tomorrow is better. There's a chance it will be.
 
Just finished with my psychologist. It's the last week of my RO-DBT therapy course. She's suggested that we start on "grief work" after this. I've already started Googling the principles of Grief Work therapy 😂
 
I've been majorly depressed for basically my entire life. I've become numb to it. Yet days like this I can't.

I woke up at 8 and layed in bed until 1pm just wishing I could sleep forever. Usually when it gets this bad I force myself to run but it's raining and cold as shit.

I'm in the belly of a nihilistic beast dissolving away.

So tired of myself and my choices.

Days like this fucking suck.... I really hope it gets better.

I don't have any money for drugs and that's probably a good thing.
 
Iiiieeee.... ditched my last RO-DBT group skills class. I didn’t miss one all year until now. I just... what’s the point? We’re not going to learn anything new. I’ll have to say sentimental goodbyes to people which is fucking awkward. Fuck it, I’m going to sleep in.

... is it too early to drink? It’s too early to drink. Imma do it.
 
Sirena Oscura said:
Iiiieeee.... ditched my last RO-DBT group skills class. I didn’t miss one all year until now. I just... what’s the point? We’re not going to learn anything new. I’ll have to say sentimental goodbyes to people which is fucking awkward. Fuck it, I’m going to sleep in.

... is it too early to drink? It’s too early to drink. Imma do it.
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It is NEVER too early to drink.
That’s a myth.
A shit myth.
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
I've been majorly depressed for basically my entire life. I've become numb to it. Yet days like this I can't.

I woke up at 8 and layed in bed until 1pm just wishing I could sleep forever. Usually when it gets this bad I force myself to run but it's raining and cold as shit.

I'm in the belly of a nihilistic beast dissolving away.

So tired of myself and my choices.

Days like this fucking suck.... I really hope it gets better.

I don't have any money for drugs and that's probably a good thing.
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‘So tired of myself and my choices’

man do I hear that loud and clear. I’m bipolar so if I’m not depressed I’m doing shit that I KNOW is gonna make me depressed later, without a doubt.
It’s great that you have a positive outlet for it though (running)
I tried that myself, went and spent a thousand dollars on kayaks, determined that I’d channel my energy better.
Well. They’re the most expensive dust catchers I ever did buy.
Keep thinking about hocking them for drugs but I’m too lazy.
Push on, better days are always coming x
 
SAT4N_420 said:
Well, it's been rough. My court date got delayed until January so it'll be a while before I find out what they're going to do to me. The stress from all of this hasn't been doing much good for my mental well being and I've been taking Phenibut and Kratom to keep me from giving into the temptation of taking anything that might show up on a drug test.

I'm sorry you had to go through that with your husband. How are you feeling now? If you're still not feeling well then it might be good to go to a doctor to make sure that everything is ok because concussions can be dangerous.
Also, I'm stll hoping things go well for you in your police hearing.
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Oh okay that sucks, I hope it all goes well. Phenibut and kratom are better than much else that foesn't show up atleast. Are you alternating them or having sober days inbetween and stuff so you don't get hooked though?

The concussion is better, not so tired anymore. I did not rest as I should have though but still healed up, no longer as light/sound sensitive anymore. Thank you! I'll maybe check in here tomorrow after the hearing.


On another note, my grandma has sold off loads of my favourite paintings made by my deceased father. She's getting like 1000 $ each, some of them sold for 2600$. Hustled by my own grandma, that stings. While im sitting here not being able to pay rent. A few years ago I helped her pick out his best one's for an exhibition (NOT for the purpose of them being sold), and now she did not even tell me there was going to be an exhibition, and that she's selling them. It's not as much about the money as it is about losing the art and her trying to keep it a secret. Hm. Just kinda sad about it.
 
Last hearing yesterday. That was the worst hearing so far. They had only found one film and it was not the right one so now there is not enough proof of rape so he's being let go probably today. I got a restraining order against him, plus that he will be prosecuted on 85 cases of harrassment. Maybe he will get convicted for stalking but probably just a few months, and he will be out in the meantime. Im devestated and scared but yeah..
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Last hearing yesterday. That was the worst hearing so far. They had only found one film and it was not the right one so now there is not enough proof of rape so he's being let go probably today. I got a restraining order against him, plus that he will be prosecuted on 85 cases of harrassment. Maybe he will get convicted for stalking but probably just a few months, and he will be out in the meantime. Im devestated and scared but yeah..
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Wow
 
Thinking about possibly going on an anti-depressant. I need a change. I feel like most of my time is wasted when I’m too low to do anything other than what’s expected. It’s not a way to live.
Ive done so much self help.. had profound experience and vision.. soul retrieval, moved from state to state.. you’d think something would have changed.

it feels embarrassing. It feels like, for everything I’ve gracefully or not so gracefully come to know.. and the values I hold.. I should’ve been stronger than this. I should be able to be happy more often. It feels vulnerable. It feels frustrating.

On some golden afternoon, it feels like a solar abyss. I’m still wrecked over my last relationship, yet I know that whatever is wrong with me, has to be more than that. It’s just what I use to rationalize the sadness. And ironically, even though it was a shit show, its what I use to try to gauge happiness. To self-emote it. I try to relive the good moments in my mind.
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Last hearing yesterday. That was the worst hearing so far. They had only found one film and it was not the right one so now there is not enough proof of rape so he's being let go probably today. I got a restraining order against him, plus that he will be prosecuted on 85 cases of harrassment. Maybe he will get convicted for stalking but probably just a few months, and he will be out in the meantime. Im devestated and scared but yeah..
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Stay strong.. do you have a support network?
 
Doing good, tapering my antipsychotics. This time its gonna be a success. Last time went to hell cause I simultaneously developed an interesting case of "mania" and more. But this time is gonna be it. I seem to, mostly, have 3-4 hours long transient psychosis. So I really dont fucking want to take these pills daily, Ive taken them for a year already and during that time Ive gotten my life in a good spot.

Ohh, and for all of my fellow stimulant psychosis sufferers, too much benzos bring it out. Theres not enough scientific evidence but its true. So watch out anyways.
 
g0df1sh said:
Stay strong.. do you have a support network?
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Thanks. I have a therapist, haven't been there in a while though. Should email her about an appointment though so thanks for the reminder.

SAT4N_420 said:
I've been doing both, alternating between the two and taking sober days because they're both rough on my stomach.

I'm really sorry about the hearing though. Is that really it? Is there no way you can get them to reconsider their decision? It seems so unfair that he can get away with what he did and just getting a slap on the wrist...
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I had this audio file from a phone call that might contain something. The police was gonna check them out before he gets released I think. But it was such small files, so I don't think they were the right ones.
At least he has been sitting almost 3 months in a cell with restrictions while they checked all the electronics and stuff, since most people in these types of cases never sits a day in jail im happy with that. And he will probably get convicted for harrassment, maybe stalking and Mr. Previously Clean Record now has a drug offence since he had stuff on him when they took him in. But yeah im quite upset about it anyways..
 
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