I'm not a clubber by any stretch, but I'd dispute that Melbourne's club scene is "unbelievably snobbish and unwelcoming". I think you just got taken to, as onetwothreefour points out, fucking horrible places. Q Bar is one of those without question.
In general, in Melbourne (and I know people will disagree with me here), avoid house music. There's probably a friendly house club somewhere, but I've never been there. Likewise much of prog and (again with the probable disagreement) techno.
The breaks, hip-hop and trance (and hard trance, though that has its own set of problems lately) club scenes are a lot friendlier.
[edit: grandad, it sounds like you did the Chapel St thing. That's a bad idea right there. I end up in Revolver from time to time, it has its place, but that doesn't change the fact that Chapel St is just a shitty place for friendly clubbing. Actually, for friendly anything really.]
$0.02.