Not sure where to put this
I am going to paste a letter from another forum below and I can tell you now that my situation is EXACTLY like this except multiply the 1-3 days by a non exaggerated factor of 100x
I was putting 10g into 80g of plant matter and chain smoking 50 a day!!!
After almost 4 months I had to go back on it after trying to get help in the uk NHS who simply thought I wanted mental help because I wanted to make a benefit claim!!!!!
I get more money from tax credits which my partner claims than I would from benefit duh!!!!!
DAVID CAMERON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was genuinely suicidal.
I GOT NO HELP FROM THE NHS WHATSOEVER THEYT WERE TOTALLY CLUELESS
EXAMPLE `IF ITS ONLY CANNABIS OR CANNABINOIDS YOU ARE USING I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE THIS IS AN ADDICTION UNIT`
OH MY GOD!!!!!
THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE UP AGAINST!!!!
HERE IS THEIR STORY IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS ME EXCEPT I HAD TO GO BACK ON IT AS I WAS GOING TO END UP LOCKED UP
I AM TOTALLY `INSANE` WITHOUT IT AND AFTER ALMOST 4 MONTHS I WAS NO BETTER
I AM GOING TO TRY ORALLY DOSING IT AND TRY TO WEAN MYSELF OFF USING VOLUMETRIC MEASUREMENT
I AM ON MY OWN NOW THE SO CALLED PROFESSIONALS ARE TOTALLY AND UTTERLY USELESS
BEGIN CUT AND PASTE
Posted: May 1, 2013, 10:19 PM
I'll go ahead and give a snapshot of a year in recovery, what to expect:
DAY 1-3: Pure Hell. The rational, reasonable side of your brain had finally made the correct decision to stop this drug before it kills you. Problem: The rest of your mind and body will revolt like a toddler throwing a violent temper tantrum. Please warn your family and friends before you get started, or isolate yourself. I chose isolation for this phase. I'm not saying that's right, it's just what I happened to do.
As a full grown adult, I was reduced to newborn baby status on Days 1-3: Crying, puking, diarrhea, hungry, then nauseous and vomiting once I tried eating. Repeat. Could not sleep for more than a few hours, from what I remember. To be honest I think DAC, Allison, Tog, Sash or specifically Mermaid can better describe these days: I'm trying to remember what it was like a year ago and honestly my mind has blocked out a lot of it.
DAY4- first few weeks: Clouds will part and sunshine will spill through, the flu like symptoms have finally gone! I was euphoric these days, because I had beaten the demon. Once you've made it to day 4, DON"T LOOK BACK! Every day is easier after day 3.
You will deserve a sincere pat on the back once you get here. Please tell your story to others, it helps as well. By this time you can probably start eating your first solid food, for some reason I think I've read a few of us saying we ate spicy stuff? I have no idea why but I could only eat spicy boneless buffalo wings with celery and ranch dressing from Applebees. That's all I ate for lunch and dinner for nearly a week straight.
MONTH 1-2: For me the euphoric feeling of recovery subsided to an emotional roller coaster.... This is when the "will I ever be the same again" feelings really kicked in. I was VERY emotionally fragile. every time the phone rang my mind would reel, thinking it was going to be something horrible. I dreaded e-mails, phone calls, etc. Basically, the stressors of life become very hectic when you've been used to smoking your cares away for years, then stop. My mind had to figure out another coping mechanism other than drug use. Eventually mine became cooking/healthy eating and exercise.
During this time I could not watch the news, or even stressful TV shows. I had to strictly watch comedy and light hearted stuff. As I said, emotionally fragile. It WILL go away, I promise.
I also became very concerned with my health, the rational part of my brain kept wondering what sort of damage I had done. I went to the Doctors and had a plethora of tests run on me, even had my lungs x-rayed. I also had blood work done, cholesterol readings, blood sugar, blood pressure, etc. All tests came back that I was perfectly fine!!!!
MONTH3-6: New coping mechanisms developed, emotionally stable, life back to normal. After I got my tests back that I was perfectly fine, I began to exercise regularly, mostly just to clear all the tar and crap out of my lungs at first. Once I started exercising, riding my mountain bike along beautiful mountain trails, I found I extremely enjoyed being out in nature. I also got the natural "runners high" from exercise, without the drug use. I got a euphoric feeling from working out, being healthy and in nature.
I think most importantly it was a new activity that demanded ALL of my attention and focus when I was doing it. Ever zipped through single track downhill mountain trails on a bike? It's not something you do while also worrying about bills and daily stressors. I had found a new activity that naturally decompressed my emotions, and I felt elated every time I was finished. I also began cooking, and every time I prepared a new dish I became more proud of myself and my self sufficiency.
MONTH 6-10 (current time for me): Life is normal: every day stressors are there as always, but are taken care of throughout the day and not worried about at night. No major issues or concerns. I drink a mug of sleepytime tea before bed and sleep 8 hours every night (or close to it). I'm clean, organized, I eat healthy and I work out 5 days a week (I don't work out on the weekends, unless unintentionally like mountain biking). I spend time with friends and family, and no one seems to know what happened to me at all. None of my work friends or co-workers had any idea that I had gone to the edge and came back. I'm not sure how. I didn't ever smoke synthetic AT work, but I think in the end months before I quit I may have smoked before I went in...
Like I said before, much of that time of my life is kind of a blur now. I think my mind is past it, and doesn't like to revisit, or possibly doesn't feel the need to remember. Just don't do it again!
I am going to paste a letter from another forum below and I can tell you now that my situation is EXACTLY like this except multiply the 1-3 days by a non exaggerated factor of 100x
I was putting 10g into 80g of plant matter and chain smoking 50 a day!!!
After almost 4 months I had to go back on it after trying to get help in the uk NHS who simply thought I wanted mental help because I wanted to make a benefit claim!!!!!
I get more money from tax credits which my partner claims than I would from benefit duh!!!!!
DAVID CAMERON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was genuinely suicidal.
I GOT NO HELP FROM THE NHS WHATSOEVER THEYT WERE TOTALLY CLUELESS
EXAMPLE `IF ITS ONLY CANNABIS OR CANNABINOIDS YOU ARE USING I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE THIS IS AN ADDICTION UNIT`
OH MY GOD!!!!!
THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE UP AGAINST!!!!
HERE IS THEIR STORY IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS ME EXCEPT I HAD TO GO BACK ON IT AS I WAS GOING TO END UP LOCKED UP
I AM TOTALLY `INSANE` WITHOUT IT AND AFTER ALMOST 4 MONTHS I WAS NO BETTER
I AM GOING TO TRY ORALLY DOSING IT AND TRY TO WEAN MYSELF OFF USING VOLUMETRIC MEASUREMENT
I AM ON MY OWN NOW THE SO CALLED PROFESSIONALS ARE TOTALLY AND UTTERLY USELESS
BEGIN CUT AND PASTE
Posted: May 1, 2013, 10:19 PM
I'll go ahead and give a snapshot of a year in recovery, what to expect:
DAY 1-3: Pure Hell. The rational, reasonable side of your brain had finally made the correct decision to stop this drug before it kills you. Problem: The rest of your mind and body will revolt like a toddler throwing a violent temper tantrum. Please warn your family and friends before you get started, or isolate yourself. I chose isolation for this phase. I'm not saying that's right, it's just what I happened to do.
As a full grown adult, I was reduced to newborn baby status on Days 1-3: Crying, puking, diarrhea, hungry, then nauseous and vomiting once I tried eating. Repeat. Could not sleep for more than a few hours, from what I remember. To be honest I think DAC, Allison, Tog, Sash or specifically Mermaid can better describe these days: I'm trying to remember what it was like a year ago and honestly my mind has blocked out a lot of it.
DAY4- first few weeks: Clouds will part and sunshine will spill through, the flu like symptoms have finally gone! I was euphoric these days, because I had beaten the demon. Once you've made it to day 4, DON"T LOOK BACK! Every day is easier after day 3.
You will deserve a sincere pat on the back once you get here. Please tell your story to others, it helps as well. By this time you can probably start eating your first solid food, for some reason I think I've read a few of us saying we ate spicy stuff? I have no idea why but I could only eat spicy boneless buffalo wings with celery and ranch dressing from Applebees. That's all I ate for lunch and dinner for nearly a week straight.
MONTH 1-2: For me the euphoric feeling of recovery subsided to an emotional roller coaster.... This is when the "will I ever be the same again" feelings really kicked in. I was VERY emotionally fragile. every time the phone rang my mind would reel, thinking it was going to be something horrible. I dreaded e-mails, phone calls, etc. Basically, the stressors of life become very hectic when you've been used to smoking your cares away for years, then stop. My mind had to figure out another coping mechanism other than drug use. Eventually mine became cooking/healthy eating and exercise.
During this time I could not watch the news, or even stressful TV shows. I had to strictly watch comedy and light hearted stuff. As I said, emotionally fragile. It WILL go away, I promise.
I also became very concerned with my health, the rational part of my brain kept wondering what sort of damage I had done. I went to the Doctors and had a plethora of tests run on me, even had my lungs x-rayed. I also had blood work done, cholesterol readings, blood sugar, blood pressure, etc. All tests came back that I was perfectly fine!!!!
MONTH3-6: New coping mechanisms developed, emotionally stable, life back to normal. After I got my tests back that I was perfectly fine, I began to exercise regularly, mostly just to clear all the tar and crap out of my lungs at first. Once I started exercising, riding my mountain bike along beautiful mountain trails, I found I extremely enjoyed being out in nature. I also got the natural "runners high" from exercise, without the drug use. I got a euphoric feeling from working out, being healthy and in nature.
I think most importantly it was a new activity that demanded ALL of my attention and focus when I was doing it. Ever zipped through single track downhill mountain trails on a bike? It's not something you do while also worrying about bills and daily stressors. I had found a new activity that naturally decompressed my emotions, and I felt elated every time I was finished. I also began cooking, and every time I prepared a new dish I became more proud of myself and my self sufficiency.
MONTH 6-10 (current time for me): Life is normal: every day stressors are there as always, but are taken care of throughout the day and not worried about at night. No major issues or concerns. I drink a mug of sleepytime tea before bed and sleep 8 hours every night (or close to it). I'm clean, organized, I eat healthy and I work out 5 days a week (I don't work out on the weekends, unless unintentionally like mountain biking). I spend time with friends and family, and no one seems to know what happened to me at all. None of my work friends or co-workers had any idea that I had gone to the edge and came back. I'm not sure how. I didn't ever smoke synthetic AT work, but I think in the end months before I quit I may have smoked before I went in...
Like I said before, much of that time of my life is kind of a blur now. I think my mind is past it, and doesn't like to revisit, or possibly doesn't feel the need to remember. Just don't do it again!
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