It really sucks, this weed paranoia/anxiety.
For about one year I smoked pretty much everyday. Enjoyed it so much. I went to class, walked around town and was never paranoid at all.
Then, earlier last year it just changed. I felt I was beginning to think negative thoughts about myself, and this continued and got worse. Got some extremely dark introspection (thinking I was gonna get mentally ill), some BDD (horrible, horrible stuff), depersonalization, derealization, social phobia and racing thoughts impossible to get out of, everytime I smoked.
I try to do it again but I seem to never get out of these horrible racing thoughts using weed. I can smoke just a tiny amount of weed and I immediately recognize the feeling of extreme self-loathing and feeling of getting mentally ill.
A few months ago, I tried to smoke with some friends and I got so extremely paranoid that I had to go outside walking around for hours in the middle of the night, getting away from people. But that wasn't good either. Why was everything so scary? Even my own thoughts.
Does someone recognize the feeling of looking at your friends and being afraid of them and what they're thinking? It's like everything's a movie and everyone's the bad guy. It sucks ass.
In my normal life, I feel pretty good. The first months when I stopped smoking last year were horrible though. I had gotten pretty depressed and anxious daily. But this is slowly disappearing.
I tried LSD and it was AWESOME! Some really cool introspection (not the scary type) and it just felt like more of a drug for me.