Panic - Attention span - general outlook - social changes - coming off weed etc
I'm 22 years of age and I've been smoking for just over a year now, I smoke it quite often after work and generally, always on the weekends without fail.
My reasons for smoking are for relaxation, euphoria and immersion and almost convinced myself that to be happy I would need to feel all those things. I would generally smoke up and then play Video games up very loud for a total immersion into the game, and the immersion would get very real that sometimes I thought I was actually there Only while high I would feel that kind of immersion.
Music would also be more interesting and immerse while I was high, Among lots of other things I did in general day to day life became easier or easier to manage while I was high, not to mention incredibly more fun.
One thing I found while smoking was that most of my problems or things that I perceive as problems seem to disappear though only when I'm high. I've had myself believe that my problems will go away only when I'm high and because of it's chemical reaction I've given myself a false sense of hope towards dealing with problems and I tend to find that I am unhappy and always dwelling on the negative points of life whenever I'm not high.
So in short I'll skip all the formalities and cut straight to the chase.
Recently (3moths approx) while I was very high one night with my friend I had some kind of panic attack where I felt that I was too high and I was going to die, or going to pass out uncontrollably very strange... even though I knew too well the implications of weed and knew that there has never been a death recorded from the misuse of the drug, though I hadn't misused it or had more then my regular dose that night I still proceeded to have some bizarre panic attack.
I ended up laying down on the bedroom floor because I lost my balance and then I blacked out and had a strange moment and I hit my head against the floor one or two times (quite hard) and my friend stopped me from doing it as I came too.
Once I came too I was conscious again and couldn't remember the ordeal at all... and my friend had to explain to me what happened.. though I could feel that my cheek and that the left side of my face was slightly numb or felt like I had been in a punch up lol.
I thought that I had a stroke (though I don't know what a stroke really is) that's just what I thought... it was bizarre and I needed a reason for it happening... but I don't think it was a stroke as the doctor would have said so... anyway the left side of my body felt a slight bit numb.... or at least I think it did I'm not too sure as I was quite high that night.
I ended up going to the doctor the next day and had a brain image scan - for a checkup and when the results came back they looked all normal. Since then I have smoked a little bit of weed and haven't felt quite like that again (thank god) I think I would put it down to a freak accident or something. I just thought I'd share that in case anybody else has a similar issue and comes across this one and might be able to answer it.
But my current issue now is that because I've had a break from Weed for the past 3 months I feel depressed constantly, well at least I think it's depression - I don't actually know or understand quite what 'depression' is as to me it is just a word and not a physical condition or something one is able to see and detect.
Sometimes I don't feel like playing video games or listening to music or doing anything because I just tell myself it's boring and not fun anymore and my attention span is very short. Sometimes I can't sleep and I stay up thinking about the end of the world and how pointless life is as it's so god damn short... we live for such as short time in existence.. yes it's hard to fathom.. lol.. !!Just to remind you they are just thoughts and I have no suicidal tendencies or anything like that!! I also try to remind myself of all the people that love me and all the good points in life, because there are so many and life can be so kind at times
Anyway... I'll have to re-read through this again and update parts to try and help you understand what I'm trying to ask, but what do you think could have happened that night I was high? and is there anything wrong with me? has this happened to others? does anybody else feel the same when coming off weed?