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  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

MEGA - Jobs, Resumes, Interviews

A 3 year gap is much much worse than a failed venture imo (which took guts and ambition to undertake; and from which you have learned a shit-load from, regardless of outcome). Talking about it honestly also speaks to your candor and integrity. That's how I would view it as an interviewer anyway.

Edit: Feel free to jump on msn and ping me a copy of it. I've been interviewing for fairly senior positions for about 8 years now and would gladly give an independent opinion.
 
Will do that, thank you! (Will have to wait til i'm on a proper pc, am bl'ing from my phone).


Also, i should mention that i'm applying for more 'basic' work right now, like non-salaried/hourly type work..
 
Just be honest and say you worked as an independent contractor- or make up a name for your business. There is nothing wrong with that. I worked for myself for over 10 years, and went back into the corporate world because I was not making enough money and was sick of paying for my own insurance - I had absolutely no problems job hunting. It just shows that you havevenough self discipline to work without supervision. And 'failed' is relative. If you supported yourself for 3 years, that's not a failure in my eyes. I just told my potential employers that having my own company suited my circumstances at the time ( I didn't want to send my kids to day care) but that I enjoyed being around a lot of people, and i felt it was easier to keep ahead of the technologies in my field if I were in a larger workplace- not to mention the training opportunities available. what you did was totally legitimate so don't put yourself down- put it out there as an accomplishment. Good luck!
 
Lying hardcore on the resume: cool?

So everybody knows that it doesn't look good to be unemployed, especially for any period of time after having completed a degree or two (which is the position I'm in). I mean, I've had jobs most of the time, but they've been bullshit jobs... and i just got fired two days ago from a waiter job. This is getting old. I don't have stacks and stacks of money. I don't even have anything anymore. It's time to get hardcore imo, and that means big time lies on the resume. Fuck it, right? If I'm going to get canned anyways it might as well be after saving up a higher salary. And you know they can't say shit about anything as long as you get one or two solid dummy references from the company.

So besides the obvious moral dilemma of, "lying is wrong" and the practical dilemma of, "they'll find out eventually," what could possibly go wrong here? I'm going to write my troll resume today and start job shopping instead of job hunting. Throw a signing bonus in, lol.
 
I'm just going to bluff the shit out of these companies and give them real names of people in the organization I'm citing as having worked for. No one questions the big lies.
 
Exaggerate everything. I've put some ridiculous shit on my resume, usually stuff that can't be verified (volunteer work especially). I've even made up references. Make sure you have your story straight. No one has ever questioned me about any of it. Is it immoral? no, the companies hiring you are immoral. It helps if you make up stuff that you did when you 'lived somewhere else'. And i've never been 'fired', I just outgrew the companies and left on my own and no you can't call my former boss lol. Before I graduated I always lied about having a degree, and I'll make things ambiguous to make it look like I have several degrees/diplomas in different areas.
 
What happens when they contact these people then and realise that you have made it up? You should get a friend to agree to use his/her phone number as the contact number for a fake company who will give a reference for you when called on the specific number, you could even get that person a disposable cell phone and use that number as then they would know that whenever that phone rang they had to pretend to be the reference for you.

Also don't lie too much and say you can do things that you can't, and don't lie too much so that you will get tripped up upon questioning in the interview. You shoukdl also convince yourself that what you have written is the truth as it will be 100x easier to lie if you reallly believe it is true.

Good luck finding a job, I have always wondered if it was possible to do what you are doing and create a totally fake resume and try and get a job from it. Let us know how it goes :)
 
it depends on what type of job it is..i think it makes sense that if your applying for a high paying white collar job and are up against other qualified candidates..they will def. check your education and work histroy...if your applying for a job at KFC me thinks no one will check up on ya.....i think the references are easy to flub but if you are applying for a job that requires a BA (esp now because the job market is soooo competitive) you might get caught. i can only remember a few times when ANy of the info i gave in an application/resume was checked..
 
You can buy BAs online that are accredited degrees in pretty much any subject you like, sometimes just having a degree on your resume stops it getting thrown in the bin. Again though, no point in pretending to have something or have done something in the past if you wouldn't be able to do the job that you are applying for.
 
^^ actually none at all i was in college in late 90's ...had i know that i woulda saved alot of time and money..hehehehehe(that was sarcastic)
 
The obviously wont be as valuable as a degree that you earned, but they are 100% legit, and can be a good thing to ust add to your resume. But if at the interview and in the job you show the skills that the degree shouldl have taught you because you already have them, just ddidn't get the skills through conventiaonal means then your future employer wont care. They just want you to be able to do the work to be honest. That is all they want you to do, Even if they found out down the line that a resume was faked, if you have been doing a perfect job, then how can they even consider sacking you;
 
captainballs said:
So besides the obvious moral dilemma of, "lying is wrong" and the practical dilemma of, "they'll find out eventually," what could possibly go wrong here?
Click to expand...

The worst case scenario: You will contribute to the already bloated inflation of credentials, real and imagined, and ultimately displace a more qualified candidate from a job that he/she would have earned through a fairer and more meritocratic process. That person will ultimately displace someone else, and so on down the line, contributing to the overall devaluation of university degrees and other credentials that are (or rather should be) the backbone of how all employers evaluate potential employees.

You mentioned degrees. What field are your degrees in? Does your alma mater offer services to help you market yourself, or find jobs?
 
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RobotRipping said:
Before I graduated I always lied about having a degree, and I'll make things ambiguous to make it look like I have several degrees/diplomas in different areas.
Click to expand...

Mugz said:
You can buy BAs online that are accredited degrees in pretty much any subject you like, sometimes just having a degree on your resume stops it getting thrown in the bin. Again though, no point in pretending to have something or have done something in the past if you wouldn't be able to do the job that you are applying for.
Click to expand...

Any employer who isn't suffering some sort of mild retardation will ask for a hard copy of your degree, and reference the institution who accredited it to you. I'm over $50,000 in debt from my degrees and certifications. Do you think I'm going to make ambiguous references to them in my CV? No, I'm going to list them near the top, along with my school, graduating year, my program, and my GPA. In fact, if you take any 'Resume Writing 101' class, one of the first things they will tell you is to be factual, and avoid vague language. That's because employers are used to having smoke blown up their ass by creative writers who want to waste their time.

It's up to the company's HR dept. to fact check the credentials of each candidate. You'll find that good companies do this, and are able to screen out liars, shills and cheats before the first round of interviewing.

If someone with such poor character were to somehow land a job with a company who fails at simple screening, then there's no point in hating. The company deserves what they get.
 
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This whole thread reminds me of Frank Abagnale Jr (Catch me if you can).

I think that it is obviously a lot harder these days but with enough confidence and actually having some of the necessary skills for the job you are going for you can get there through lying on your resume.

In the film catch me if you the cop is always asking Frank how he cheated the bar exam, when the real way he did that bit was to actually study and pass it.
 
Since the economy have gone to shit, if you are going to lie on your resume pick companies that are no longer in business. They will have no way to verify your employment. But, make sure you have some they can can check. The world of hiring and resumes have changed dramatically. My HR department has been helping get promoted and gave me invormation about how to change my style of resume and interviewing skills to the new way of hiring since the economy crash.
I found the information at this site pivitol to updating and poloshing my first impressing.
This link goes to the resume section (besure to check out the link that says Your Resume Stinks)
http://manager-tools.com/podcasts/career-tools?filter0=30
Then go to the interviewing pod casting section
http://manager-tools.com/podcasts/career-tools?filter0=23
 
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