Chainer
Bluelighter
This will fit very well in our quitting / need a break thread
Im going to bring this over to there
Im going to bring this over to there
Good god! The dreams!
I'd say it has been roughly 2 weeks (time is a goddamn blur right now) and my nausea is fading, my social anxiety surprisingly has not decreased to the point I had hoped (I think I truly have an anxiety problem, I have not been sober since the 8th grade) but there is a noticeable decrease. Mostly I am just more willing to say what I feel. I will make sure to hold onto that.
The dreams I am having are outrageous! Nothing crazy, but the sheer amount of dreams is crazy! I had a 3 hour nap yesterday that produced easily 10 different dreams. Last night as I struggled to sleep I had a few more dreams. Some were kind of upsetting, about ex's and shit, but one was great. I was able to board an open boxcar with some friends and take the thing on a trip to Washington state (probably subconsciously want to smoke some legal in the streets) It was a beautifully vivid dream, all the klinks on the rails were felt, all the sounds, smells. Great!
I have been noticing that my eyes are watering in the same fashion as an opiate addict going through withdrawal. Anyone ever noticed this?
I have artistic motivation but not really in the field I normally do. I have been writing graffiti for a few years and I have not picked up a spray can or marker in the time I have been off the weed. I did however decided I am going to learn to play a few songs on guitar. A beautiful 3/4 ovation sitting under my bed. I just need the strings, and I want to learn some simple drum stuff without having to buy drums ('shake hip' by the stones)
I do have cravings to get high, but truly I have had a bong loads worth of high grade sitting beside me this whole time. I am scared that I have cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome so I am pretty freaked out to try smoking again (I probably, hopefully have something else that isnt overly serious 'GERD') I am going to use that fear to try and get to the 1st of december.
I have noticed that I am waking up FURIOUS! normally I wake up rather happy to see the day, mmmm fall morning air. I am upset with that effect. I feel anxious and sort of angry upon waking over the last few days.
No drug should be consumed daily, indefinitely. Full stop. If you are addicted to smoking marijuana, and reliant on it, and you have been so for years, or even decades, then it's time to stop. Functionality is a different issue. Marijuana does not make you smarter, as far as intelligent quotients go: it does the opposite. Unless you have an anxiety disorder, in which case it might alleviate symptoms that interfere with your intelligence. Anxiety disorders are curable, though. And benzos are a much better alternative to treat stress.
(IMO)
I smoked weed for over ten years, like most people breathe. And, in denial as I was, I told myself it made me smarter and more functional. I said, "I'm never going to stop smoking weed. Ever." Now, I'm so glad I have that monkey off my back... The longer you've been smoking without a break, the harder it is to quit. If you're up to 2 years, or 6 years, or 12 years, I urge you to break the cycle. Then, when you start again, if you start again, take a break every month or so. Never let it get it's claws into you. Never allow yourself to grow accustomed to being stoned all the time.
Life ain't about being stoned.
maybe its just me, but personally life is hell unless im high, no matter what is going on in life. no matter what i do i think about everything negatively, call it extreme pessimism if you will. i cant do anything about it, its just the way i am. no matter how good things are, it always seems like everything sucks unless im on something. amphetamines typically (adderall), sometimes weed, sometimes cigs, sometimes alcohol, opiates if i can get my hands on em, ill do pretty much anything really if itll get me high. except inhalants. and synthetics. id rather do an established drug with well known effects than a synth no one knows anything about (example: id take heroin over spice)