My break started in March.
I'm not sure it's a break. I think I just might have quit for good. You wouldn't want to do it my way, mind you.
I was having two big things happen when I smoked. The first was a racing heart. Pound ! Pound ! Pound ! Especially at the end of the night...and sometimes long after I went to bed.
The second was more disturbing. On a handful of occasions after getting high, I had thoughts of hurting myself. Nothing I acted on. It wasn't a 'voice' in my head, but another presence, like a challenging force that suggested....'what if you did this ?'
When that happened, I steadied myself and observed the conflict. In those moments I thought this must be what it's like for people who get serious suicidal thoughts, but for them it's even worse. After a time or two of this happening I learned these ideas would go away after I came down. And of course, the logical thing became not getting high at all because I did not want to see that develop into something else.
I've been smoking on and off for about 35 years. By the end, I wasn't smoking much at all - 2 hits off a joint would do it. Since I stopped, my overall mood has improved. I have fewer moments of what I would call depression. I'm more focussed in what I do. I'm making better use of my time and taking on more challenges. I find I'm able to process much more daily life...which means things are a bit 'flatter' but that's not so bad.
The pounding heart stuff is pretty much over. Stopping smoking and doing regular exercise have it more or less sorted. Heart rate is way down, however there is an occasional arrhythmia that needs to be explored.
In the past, I've gone years without smoking. This last go around though, say the past 7 or 8 years, lasted longer, and most of it was on my own. Not smoking the heavy stuff and never smoking a lot...but it was daily and there was always something in my system.
What I'm finding now is that no matter how hard i tried to imagine it...I would not have been able to appreciate the difference between being a smoker and having gone even three months without. I'll never forget how good music sounds when I'm high, and how much easier it is to WRITE music...and how I get some really fun and warped ideas. The tradeoffs now though are too big. Apart from having some thoughts of self-harm....being single and older and smoking was taking me a little too far into a world of my own. Fascinating in some ways, to be sure. But not sustainable. And I was at a point where I had to make some big changes.
Tips:
* Do not be around something to smoke. That might be much easier for me than most of you since your friends are probably right into it and I would have to find that 'certain' crowd...but there is no better away to get a break. Some people have mentioned not buying any. For years, that was what I did and it worked very well. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I started buying. Bad move. I always smoked it if it was around.
* Get more focused on the life ahead of you. If you've got something important coming up you are almost certain to do it better straight. Why not take a two or three month run at it ? I'm still not clear yet of the effects of smoking for a long time, but I can sense the difference. I've got extra patience and an extra gear or two for difficult things. Before, I might not have been as tough. Set a goal or two. Aim to do something that is really meaningful to you and also really hard to accomplish if you're always getting high. And if you're not able to find something, be honest about why not.
* Be ready to change friends. This one is probably a non-starter for a lot of people but here is how life is going to go: friends will drop out of your life along the way. Some will be gone when school is done. Others will drift away once they get married. If you're still smoking and drinking and partying hard etc. well into your 30s, you and your buddies are enabling each other. In the end, you'll do whatever you want to do, but if you want to get clear of something, you'll have to have the power to pull away from bad situations.
I'm just about viceless, but I never think I'm that far from slipping back. Stopped tobacco ten years ago. Quit drinking two or three years back - turns out it was not my DOC. I'm leaving one thing in play: psychedelics. And maybe just mescaline. That is bound to be only once or twice a year, tops.
Anyway, that's the plan.
Take care.