I can very much relate, Mr P. Towards the end I would remain manic for days at a time after my last dose. The very last time also involved nekkidness, police and a psyche ward... and the High Street (Ha! etc) of the village I then lived in, several churches, many locals, a deceased ex-girlfriend and various "angels," "demons" and assorted fey folk.
For me the psychosis became increasingly dark. And so fukkin' real it had overtaken accepted reality as my world. Once I lost my inner monologue to "Voices" I had to stop for good. Actually it took three instances of this at ever-increasing severity of depth of derangement to finally sink in that there could be no more encores.
In a way I am glad. If the good times had continued I'd still be stuck in the same auld loop. Round and around - where do we go? Who knows. And, I can now finally add, who cares. That can of worms just runs too deep and the risk:reward ratio is brutal - at least it became that way for me.
Many thanks for the kind words. I remember your posts from way back when I first started. You were one of very few pioneers who tested the water before me. I don't doubt we would have many a tale to tell - just read back through incarnations of this thread for details
- but I have to say I am genuinely glad to be out of the game now. The pull will always remain I'm sure... but the risk became too great for me. I have never experienced terrors like I did in the depths of my PV addiction. Nor squalor and degradation. Nothing comes close imo.
Yes there were many good times - I wouldn't have pushed it so far if there wasn't - but it seems they will never return. Not for me anyway. And, as I say, I'm kinda glad cos my life now is so very, very much better. I hope and trust the same can be said for yourself and all my brethren who post here