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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

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ADubbs said:
Is the "over caffeinated/wired" feeling and tightness in chest normal?
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How long since you consumed? Up to a week is "normal". Stay away from caffeine and try to relax (take walks, don't do weed or alcohol)
It's probably anxiety
 
nightElf said:
How long since you consumed? Up to a week is "normal". Stay away from caffeine and try to relax (take walks, don't do weed or alcohol)It's probably anxiety
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I consumed on June 5 for 2nd time out of 3 days. If you read my story you'll see how I relapsed after smoking pot and drinking heavily. I was feeling quite a bit better and then I jerked off on June 7 and relapsed again except this time its way worse and I never had this face and scalp tingling. When I jerked it I think I went into Serotonin Syndrome again as my pupils became huge and I was shaking and had diarrhea. I just know I oxidized more of my serotonin axons and since jerking it releases dopamine, and now I'm in it for the long haul I don't feel better each day. Versus the the time I consumed and the first relapse I felt way better within a week,now its been 1.5.
 
Hey man, just wanted to ask how you are feeling now? I am feeling similar and its just horrible. How long were you taking for?
 
Weberma said:
Hey man, just wanted to ask how you are feeling now? I am feeling similar and its just horrible. How long were you taking for?
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I'm feeling not much better, but at least I slept 5 hours last night. The night before I slept 0. I only took it 2/3 days on a long weekend (only time I've taken it) but I had a super bad reaction the second time, I puked and had the shakes and sweats and craps. I couldn't eat anything but fruit for 4 days and couldn't sleep. What about you?
 
Is the tightness in chest from the adderal maybe?? Ahh this is just so weird I was feeling basically fine!
 
Anyone have experience with Curcumin for long term recovery? I'm taking a supplement now of it.
 
No sleep last night and a I had a weird relapse...i was dosing off to bed and then it happened...sweating, shaking, somewhat dialated pupils. Do you think melatonin would help me at all?
 
Well the doc put me on a real low dose of Remeron, slept 6 hours last night and feel a bit better today. I honestly just couldn't take it anymore. The worm crawling feeling in my face has subsided quite a bit which is nice. I plan to take it a couple more nights while continuing my workout and healthy diet regimen, then go without it and see how it goes. I was calling out of work sick constantly so I needed to do something.
 
ADubbs said:
Mmm I guess I talk to myself......but who doesn't? Ok I'll try to go without it. Counting until 10 last night helped me fall asleep. I think I got around 4 or 5 hours. I ran hard yesterday and did some core workout, I think it helped a bit. Is it possible the masturbation really prolonged my recovery to that long of a time? Have you heard of this before?
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Anything that stimulates you too much would be good to experiment with avoiding (with the exception of exercise) - it's not going to damage brain cells etc. but it can temporarily strengthen connections and those excitatory connections could keep you awake. I would definitely keep meditating and if the counting works for you keep trying that.

Don't worry too much about the whole damaged brain cells thing - there are lots of other processes that can result in your symptoms but they are not from neuron injury, rather some part of the brain gets too strong and some parts get too weak. Mindfulness and turning off your thoughts can help begin to correct this, and this will in time reverse the insomnia and hence sleep debt that is the real cause of a lot of your symptoms.
 
I'm soon six months from my LTC. This has been the hardest time of my life but i'm not givin' up. It affected me and my life in many ways. Before the night i took 0,5g untested MDMA on a wild night with a lot of alcohol i worked and delivered good work, after i needed to work part time due to the fact i kept having intense panic attacks from the stress of DP/DR. I just came back from work after my vacation and got a major set-back. Now i need to accept the fact that i'm not in the state to work and need to inform my boss again. I'm sure thankful for a understanding boss and the fact that Sweden got a good job security. I know it takes time to heal and i see some improvements, however it takes time and in the meantime it feels like my life is keeps on fallin' apart. I try to change the things i can like exercise, food, i meditate, i don't drink anymore and quit smoking. The only thing left is coffee, and i think i need to cut this as well. I also think that for me this started earlier than that night, i have not shown respect to drugs in my life and now i paying the very high price. The only thing i wish for is some peaceful time and as quick recovery as posible. I'm not sure why i'm posting this more than this is a great burden to bear.
 
Stick with it! It'll get better I'm sure. Have you considered any medications? Might be worth a shit at least for a little while.
 
Is 5-HTP slowing down the recovery or even causes damage, or isn't it making a difference or maybe fastens the recovery? Because in my opinion it helps a lot, much more then SSRI or st. johns wort and I would like to know if it's harmless to take it on MDMA recovery? I'm talking about doses from 50-300mg/Day
It just fuckes me up how MDMA got me in a state like this. I "only" did it about 15 times last year from April-October when I was 17 years old but I really feel like it killed my whole passion of living. I lost completly all interest in my former hobbies and I always feel like this is never going to end. I tried so much things to feel myself again but it doesn't work at all. I feel happy some times, but it's not that happy feeling you get normally, it hurts in some way because you can't save it, it just goes away after a few minutes or hours and then you are in the state you have been before.
My memory has also taken damage, my long term memory works fine but it happens were often that someone talks to me and I feel like I'm completely out of it. For example someone tells me to bring him something, I get on my way and think of other things like things I need to get and suddenly I completely forget what the person has said but I don't realize it. This maybe comes from smoking weed too but I smoked weed before and I never had it that bad, better said, I realized that I was forgetting things, now it feels like this has become normal even after quitting weed.
I also tried microdosing Iboga, but it only helped a little bit, it cleared my brain fog but thats it. Maybe I should try it in larger doses (about 0,5g Ibogaine).
Has someone made experience with iboga too?
 
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I would try a bit larger doses of iboga but be careful (I've been curious about the effect of ibogaine on MDMA adverse effects sufferers for some time now). I would definitely practice mindfulness as well - your memory is something like a cup or buffer. When useful information is poured into the cup, it can be pushed out by crappy information that comes from a wandering, lost in thought mind. So your "cup" is not dysfunctional but your mind and voice in your head/thoughts might be too active and this renders your cup dysfunctional.
 
ADubbs said:
When I jerked it I think I went into Serotonin Syndrome again as my pupils became huge and I was shaking and had diarrhea. I just know I oxidized more of my serotonin axons and since jerking it releases dopamine,
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Not possible. Seriously, jerking off cannot put you into serotonin syndrome, and the dopamine release from orgasm won't do DICK (couldn't help myself) to your serotonin receptors.
 
LTCsufferer said:
So something very interesting happened When I was at a festival last week. I was fealing extremely depressed the first few days there. To the point where all I could do was sit in my tent and cry. My friend eventually convinced me to go hangout with them while they did molly. I was pretty nervous as just thinking about that drug has caused me severe anxiety, however being around them in That kind of setting actually triggerd a mirror response in my brain to release serotonin. I wouldnt say I felt high but I did feel better then I have since this whole ordeal started. Since that night I haven't felt an ltc symptom aside from head pressure. Another thing to note is that prior to that night I had halved my dose of 5htp. So many people on here advise against taking it so I was in a rush to quit. But I think thats the reason I sliped back in to such extreme depression. Pretty much immediately after I went back to two pills a day I felt better.
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You are bathing your brain in serotonin -- every day. Not a great idea.
 
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