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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 3)

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neurotic said:
@Deltronpedro

chill man, i know exactly what you're talking about. i've had these. it's not uncommon at all, even on people who have never taken MDMA. the transition from awake to asleep is weird - have you ever heard of sleep paralysis?

why does it bother you? it does not mean anything really. i don't think the onset of psychosis is similar to hypnagogic hallucinations. and also, i doubt a bad comedown from MDMA will trigger psychosis in someone. how old are you? does schizophrenia run in your family?

don't worry man... i never post here but i saw your post and had to reply to it. one/two years ago i faced something that was very similar to a LTC, but wasn't triggered by any single particular drug experience, rather slowly going into depersonalization, depression and HPPD as i kept abusing drugs, and i too thought all kinds of shit such as that hypnagogic hallucinations meant i was going schizo... well, for all it's worth i have yet to develop my first psychosis, and am better than ever right now

stay strong guys... you can get through this shit... take it easy and don't dwell much on it... don't look back
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Good to hear. Yes, I've heard about sleep paralysis. But it occurs far more rarer than this hypnagogic stuff. I am 22 and there is no history of schizophrenia in my family, at least not to my knowledge.
It bothers me cause nearly every smyptom bothers one, trapped in an epsiode of anxiety, depression, DR and DP. My biggest fear is to develope schizophrenia, even if there was no sign in the every day life.
Im very glad this seems to be not uncommon, thought I would go nuts finally.
So for you it disappeared?
 
Deltronpedro said:
Good to hear. Yes, I've heard about sleep paralysis. But it occurs far more rarer than this hypnagogic stuff. I am 22 and there is no history of schizophrenia in my family, at least not to my knowledge.
It bothers me cause nearly every smyptom bothers one, trapped in an epsiode of anxiety, depression, DR and DP. My biggest fear is to develope schizophrenia, even if there was no sign in the every day life.
Im very glad this seems to be not uncommon, thought I would go nuts finally.
So for you it disappeared?
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Yup, fear of developing a psychosis was not just a symptom of my LTC, but in my first "dark episode" a few years back triggered by weed.

It's quite ironic actually. Most people who do develop psychosis have no idea anything is wrong. They don't "fear it". If anything, they fear the medical professionals telling them they have a mental illness.

When I was on placement in a mental health unit I saw quite a few people with psychosis. I'd say only about half would agree they had an illness, let alone schizophrenia.

Anxiety is quite an amusing thing. The bad stuff people fear tends to happen to those who don't fear it. Therefore, the very fact you have anxiety minimises the chance of the feared event actually occurring. I saw this on placement as well.
 
ShortTermExpert said:
Yup, fear of developing a psychosis was not just a symptom of my LTC, but in my first "dark episode" a few years back triggered by weed.

It's quite ironic actually. Most people who do develop psychosis have no idea anything is wrong. They don't "fear it". If anything, they fear the medical professionals telling them they have a mental illness.

When I was on placement in a mental health unit I saw quite a few people with psychosis. I'd say only about half would agree they had an illness, let alone schizophrenia.

Anxiety is quite an amusing thing. The bad stuff people fear tends to happen to those who don't fear it. Therefore, the very fact you have anxiety minimises the chance of the feared event actually occurring. I saw this on placement as well.
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Thanks for that buddy. Really calms my mind down.
 
Hey strange stuff great response . now the issue of finding an MD who admits that adrenal fatigue is a syndrome and will treat it will be difficult. I live in Ohio and naturpaths are not considered doctors. I know in California they can practice medicine. What should I be looking for when I do the full spectrum of tests at my endo next month that suggests something is up. I know low t but what else
 
Deltronpedro said:
Good to hear. Yes, I've heard about sleep paralysis. But it occurs far more rarer than this hypnagogic stuff. I am 22 and there is no history of schizophrenia in my family, at least not to my knowledge.
It bothers me cause nearly every smyptom bothers one, trapped in an epsiode of anxiety, depression, DR and DP. My biggest fear is to develope schizophrenia, even if there was no sign in the every day life.
Im very glad this seems to be not uncommon, thought I would go nuts finally.
So for you it disappeared?
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Nah man, considering you're older (scchizo usually comes at late teens) and have no history in your family, i bet you arent going to develop schizophrenia.

Also, i doubt anyone ever went psychotic for an MDMA comedown... I dont see a link. This is a proof that you're worrying too much about it, seeing problema where there aren't any. Not saying your condition doesn't suck, but when i was on that boat (and i see lots of other people doing that) i diagnosed myself with tons of shit and wanted to try every medication...

ShortTermExpert said some valuable stuff too.

If the hypnagogic hallucination stopped for me... Well, yes, i dont get it often at all any more. But still do from time to time. Marijuana use and psychedelics usually tendo to make me have them before i sleep in the days following a trip.

Take care
 
hio

i guess you all don't take seriously my idea men I'm serious about it as a group is 100 times better... As one person we never going to be hear and get the answer about this drug long terms effects .. you all think I guess I'm joking about it . In society the only way to people can be hear by government or company or any organization is by being as a group other wise nooo... but in Other cases only if you have the money maybe yea .. but really if we don't be hear by scientists and doctors this people are the one who that's all the experiments and get the answer on what is happening and get the right cure for this ...I'm saying we can help us echother but in reality the scientists and doctors are the expert on this Ps I want to find the cure
 
It's been 6 months now and I still totally feel fucked up ? I'm so confused at everything having real bad memory problems, weak muscles,going crazy mentally I actually can't take anymore of this honestly i see a neurologist on the 30th i am so scared I have neurotoxcity, even worse if they didn't find anything and expect me to live like this. Ive been to hospitals with confusion,blurred vision etc and they just send u back honestly don't know what to do.
 
ryan23 said:
It's been 6 months now and I still totally feel fucked up ? I'm so confused at everything having real bad memory problems, weak muscles,going crazy mentally I actually can't take anymore of this honestly i see a neurologist on the 30th i am so scared I have neurotoxcity, even worse if they didn't find anything and expect me to live like this. Ive been to hospitals with confusion,blurred vision etc and they just send u back honestly don't know what to do.
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Hit me up bro
 
ryan23 said:
It's been 6 months now and I still totally feel fucked up ? I'm so confused at everything having real bad memory problems, weak muscles,going crazy mentally I actually can't take anymore of this honestly i see a neurologist on the 30th i am so scared I have neurotoxcity, even worse if they didn't find anything and expect me to live like this. Ive been to hospitals with confusion,blurred vision etc and they just send u back honestly don't know what to do.
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You need to up your recovery strategy. What you're doing at the moment Isn't doing enough.

Apply more things like hypnosis, meditation, CBT, Exercise, more sleep.. Whatever it is. If you're feeling fucked up bro you can't just miss stuff out. It DOES work given time and persistence.

You need to brace yourself for the fact the neurologist probably isn't going to be able to help you that much. It might help put your mind at rest if anything but the rest is still up to you. Of course, if they do find anything then that's also good. But I doubt they will.

It's really hard to just accept it but that's what you've got to do. "De-stress". The magic word. Google is useful here, there's all sorts of resources you can access. Far better a use of Google than using it to diagnosis yourself with illnesses you don't have.
 
Is there no test atall that can see damage to the seritonin system or even neurotoxcity ?
 
ryan23 said:
Is there no test atall that can see damage to the seritonin system or even neurotoxcity ?
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This is pure hearsay, but apparently a P.E.T. scan is able to differentiate between different regions of the brain with a high enough certainty that it can check for damaged 5-HT (Serotonin) axons and related neuronal activity. That said, such medical & diagnostic imaging equipment is reportedly so expensive that it's only available in select hospitals in major urban centers (the most populated cities in the lower 48 United States of America).

Furthermore, other first world nations such as Canada apparently don't even use Positron Emission Tomography (P.E.T.) scanning technology, but rather, they stick with Magnetic Resonance Imaging (or M.R.I.). So if you're Canadian, you might have to travel to Buffalo, NY or Seattle, WA to have the procedure done.

It sucks because Positron Emission Tomography uses the highest energy (kilo to mega-electronvolt range) and shortest wavelength (~1 picometer) electromagnetic radiation (known as gamma rays) to create a 3D image of the body's vital organ processes, whereas Magnetic Resonance Imaging uses electromagnetic radiation in the form of radio waves, which are very long in wavelength (~1 millimeter to 100 kilometers) and low in energy (~micro to nano-electron-volt range) in comparison.

In other words, the higher the energy + the shorter the wavelength, the easier it is for the radiation to pass through our bodies, which, ironically also can kill us in the form of radiation poisoning, but not in the amount emitted by a P.E.T. scan. Sorry, I get carried away sometimes - you're probably wondering why the hell I'm telling you all this :p
 
Strangestuff said:
Well hopefully your endo doesn't blow you off. I doubt he will do a full panel (you could always get lab tests done yourself though) but it really requires an 8 AM testing of stuff like pregnenolone, progesterone, cortisol, DHEA-S, Testosterone, Estradiol, Prolactin (no sexual activity 48 hrs before for most accurate prolactin results). And LH/FSH/ACTH.
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And this is not guarantee that they WILL find something, keep that in mind. I had most of these tests done, and they all came back normal (as in normal = in range). I guess my LTC was farily "low" compared to other's ppl (from what I've read here), so that's also something to keep in mind.

Do you think that the amount we took had to do with the LTC? (meaning, if I took 1gram, I get certain symptoms, however, if I took 1.5grams, I get worse symptoms, and so on). Also, how often and how much you used it in the past are probably related to it
 
Strangestuff said:
Honestly there are people on here that can improve rapidly within 1-2 months just following the right things instead of dwelling on stuff like neurotoxicity, etc. Ive listed so many things yet there are still people on here talking about "neurotoxicity". No test can find neurotoxicity. All of the things I listed work on neural plasticity on some level and will get you recovered. Go exercise instead of dwelling on neurotoxicity. Plan a solid routine for your day--I mean exercise EVERY DAY if you are serious. Supplementation EVERY DAY. Meditate EVERY DAY. Give your mind-body a rest. Take meds if you need to but evaluate all hormonal/vitamin/mineral stuff before jumping on that. The better your vitamin/mineral status is the better the meds work.
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This.

Dwelling on assumed damage to your body is not helpful. Nor is it accurate. If there was a quick fire medical solution to an LTC, then after 3 version of this thread and countless responses from people all over the world, with different healthcare systems, we would have it by now.

The reason we don't is because there isn't one.

If you are serious about recovering, then you need to be serious about the steps to recovery. Personally, I think anyone in this thread needs to forget about doctors. Go to a counsellor. Get shit off your chest if you need to.

And R-E-L-A-X.

That's the problem with the medical model of depression/anxiety. The view that was dominant in the recent past about serotonin and other transmitters governing mood is far, far too simplistic. There are FAR more complicated factors involved. I'd imagine in 100 years our current understanding of affective disorders and how the mind works will be considered as primitive as how we currently consider the practice of drilling a hole in someone's skull to relieve migraines in the Middle Ages was primitive.

It's doing more harm than good. For years now science has downplayed the role of belief, of perception. Probably as a backlash to the influence of dogmatic religious belief. But this is flawed. Perception is everything, absolutely everything.

Since I've accepted this I've made leaps and bounds in my recovery. Without a healthy attitude you won't make jack shit recovery. Simple as.
 
Hi im new to this board but after several hours of browsing i feel as if i needed to sign up..

My story goes a little something like this.. Back when i was 16 i had a pretty horrendous full blown panic attack in a supermarket store after spending a whole night smoking weed with friends.. I was pretty new to the drug at the time so obviously tolerance levels were low, i smoked a shit load and yeah collasped on the floor an ambulance was called etc etc. Of course, i was fine.. A simple panic attack, but jesus was that the start of a long journey.. The initial year or so after i was a mess, constant panic attacks anxiety etc etc.. This was my first 'LTC'.. But i got through it.. Eventually. Id say after about a year and a bit id got through the worst and was pretty much made a full recovery.. It did however unearth an obvious anxiety issue that had been underlying though..

Anyway im 23 now.. After moving away from certain friends and making new friends as people tend to do when they grow up i ended up being COMPLETEY (baring booze) drug free up untill about the age of 21.. I went to Ibiza for the first time that year and pretty reluctantly tryed half of a 'pink' love heart pill.. Wow did it blow me away. From there on in i have been a cautious yet slowly more regular mdma/ecstasy user.. To be fair to me throughout my 2.5 year spell of taking mdma i have for the most part been a sensible user.. But recently as tolerance levels have built i have been taking more and more risks and doing more and more..

This brings me to my current situation. Just over 3 weeks ago i went to a 2 day festival, where i binged on pills mdma cocaine and booze for the 2 days straight.. Having been on one binge like this at a festival the previous year with no comedown of any note i thought again that this time would not be a problem.. WRONG.. I think i have possibly a 'LTC' as you guys like to call it.. Clearly i am in the very early stages compared to some on here.. And maybe its my anxiety playing me up again.. But to be honest the last fee weeeks have been weird, ive just not felt myself and have been just down.. I tryed a week of 5htp and to be fair that worked well but the thought of a supplement to keep my mood up has put me off somewhat.. To be honest reading some of what some people on here are going through with the 'brain zaps' etc i feel as if what ever i have is reasonably mild.. My routine is pretty much the same as before, working out loads still etc etc.. Its just this over riding feeling of being down and depressed.. Its kinda just like a standard comdown that i have experienced previously however this one just seems to have 'lingered'..

Sorry about the waffle haha but in short does anyone else think i could just snap out of this soon enough? Or am i in for a long bumpy old ride?
 
Tuck55 said:
Sorry about the waffle haha but in short does anyone else think i could just snap out of this soon enough? Or am i in for a long bumpy old ride?
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Three weeks is a short time for brain recovery after being a heavy use. The first thing you need to do is RELAX, because anxiety is your worst enemy.

2nd, you need to stop doing all drugs, for at least, 6 months. This includes alcohol, weed, LSD and MDMA (of course). You need to live a healthy life style, eat well, exercise (you have no idea how important this is!), and spend time in the sun. Get plenty of sleep as well. The brain recovers, but you need to give it time.
 
If you abuse MDMA sooner or later it will hit you like a train. Not feeling 'yourself' is something many of us feel. My advice to you to never take MDMA again or once a year with a max dose of 150 mg. Besides that keep working out, eet well and sleep well. I think this will be more like a bumpy ride, but you could be lucky if your body is just giving you this huge warning.
 
I think you can recover greatly but it also occurs some people dont recover. Now the brain is then 'damaged' or broken. Only medicins brings solution.
 
Quick update.
I started to take Escitalopram. Day 4 and so far zero side effects. Just a bit tired, but I've been tired the whole last year, so...
Feels like there were some positive effects allready, but could be placebo.I will keep you up to date guys.
 
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