I have some advice I can give you, who helped me a lot.
My vision of a LTC: We all have/had emotional problems, we faced heavy stuff in life, and took refuge in drugs.
I believe that excess of MDMA and other drugs has actually caused chemical changes and possible damage in our brain, and that we all possess intrapersonal and emotional intelligence enough to realize that something was wrong, unlike many users who may have gone through the same things without realizing it.
The fact of realizing that your perception of reality has changed is hopeless, it could lead the most intelligent and resilient person to the feeling of total loss of control. This feeling, united to the factors and emotional predispositions generates anxiety. You start to check your vision all the time, because something is wrong, and that's terrifying, you have panic attacks. You start to check your pulse all the time, start to check on your breathing, your body balance, your memory, concentration and you're terrified .. In short, you begin to develop a generalized anxiety disorder, attached to a self-centeredness where nothing else matters if not your own health, because something is wrong.
You start searching everywhere for answers, scheduling all kinds of doctors, purchasing all possible supplements, you consider traveling to South American and try Ayahuasca to feel more connected. Your family don't understand what is going on, doctors say you have nothing, everything is good, they don't wanna listen you or help you. You feel hopeless and go insane. That's the worst thing you can do, but who said we knew this in the beginning? We had despaired, we all took our brain to an extreme level of stress that literally may have caused brain damage, however, is a reversible damage.
By stressing so much, by being so concerned about your body and your mind, you focus on yourself and forget there ever was a life, you reset your amygdala to make any daily situation a dangerous situation, and therefore inhibits the action of your hippocampus that is responsible for storing the information that you do not need to worry about a few things.
With time your hippocampus begins to retract, because you continue using your amygdala all the time, and begin to feel you are losing control more and more. This leads to various symptoms that we may be feeling right now.
That's when you get into what we call depersonalization disorder. I think this could be the true LTC. Search about it, you will identify.
The difference is in time. Some of us noticed that something was wrong while under the effects of MDMA, some of us noticed the next day. Some noticed months later, like me, but all of us We entered in a state of despair that led us to this. So the first thing you MUST do now is to accept the condition that your body and mind are in the moment. You see, MANY, and I mean MANY of the symptoms you're feeling right now are much more to be symptoms of anxiety and depersonalization than actual damage caused by ecstasy. So the first thing is to calm down.
The next step is to work your self-centeredness. In my case, my ego was already huge even before I start using MDMA. I was extremely proud about everything, I would never expose my feelings, never let anything overwhelm me, always seemed to be fine about everything. It was always all about me. This ego led me to create a narcissistic personality, that over the course of my LTC leveraged so much that I just couldn't know how to deal with the world and people.
You're so concentrated and focused on yourself that forgets that you're absolutely nothing in the universe. Realizing that will make you feel that you don't need to be socially anxious when you go to a store because NO, people are NOT looking at you, maybe some guy look at you, but the world is not about YOU. You realize that your mother needs your help because she is also suffering from all this.You realize that your girlfriend needs a little attention, and guess what, you can give it. If you can still write in this forum, believe me, you can still have a normal life.
Therapy is essential, but therapy does not only mean going to a psychologist. Start understanding about yourself. Start writing about what you're going through. Write about your emotions actually active the hippocampus and inhibits the action of your amygdala, and you will feel a great pleasure because you're dying to dump all that you've been facing alone, you are dying to talk to someone who understands you, and by doing it you talk to the only person who can understand you, yourself.
Set up a structure of your ego, see what causes you more anxiety, why it causes, which situations make it happen, to what degree, how to avoid, but start acting different. Think more about others, go to a nursing home, talk to people, give love to your family, help a homeless person, and think positive. There are no counter-arguments against this, positive thinking will help you in any situation.
Start meditating, do yoga, eat well, exercise, search on what you feel and look for additional alternatives, but focus on letting your ego aside a bit. I guarantee that by doing it, anxiety and social anxiety will disappear in a few days.
After that, the symptoms will continue, but deal with them. Accept them, things will get better.
